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Kelly
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Quotes for
Kelly (Character)
from The Girl Next Door (2004)

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The Girl Next Door (2004)
Kelly: Hey, you guys know Matty? I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits.

Kelly: Hey, you know who's got the killer bud?
[hits Klitz]
Kelly: This fucker right here.
[shows Ziplock bag filled with Marijuana]

Kelly: Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do something bad.
Matthew: Yeah, but this is breaking and entering.
Kelly: This is politics.

Kelly: You wanna be president? Lemme tell you the first rule of politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're ready to accept the consequences.

Kelly: If I'm gonna do this payment plan thing, I need a show of good faith, you know, something concrete.
Matthew: Well, like what?
Kelly: A blow job.
Matthew: Nah, I told you. She's not gonna do that anymore.
Kelly: Who said anything about her?
[beat]
Kelly: Yeah. We're definitely outside the box now, huh? Now you gotta ask yourself, how far are you willing to go, hmm? How much do you really care about her?
[Kelly unzips his pants, then starts laughing]
Kelly: I'm joking, man! Relax. Damn! Do I look gay to you?

Kelly: Stay in school!

Kelly: Friends don't fuck with each other's business.

Kelly: Those crazy little fuckers man, they sure know their numbers.

Kelly: Always leave 'em wanting more.

[Upon observing the cheerleaders and football players]
Kelly: Man, there is some talent here. You get those girls together with those assbags right there and shoot 'em humping at, like, a football game or at a prom, that video would sell - Fuck, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it.

Kelly: Cool ride huh?
Jock # 1: Yeah... if you're a fag!
Kelly: [throws jock to the ground] Get in!
[to matthew]

Hugo Posh: Kelly! What do we say?
Kelly: Fuck you.
Hugo Posh: [chuckles] Always with the big words.

Kelly: [bursts into Matthew's classroom yelling] That fuckin' bitch just can't run away because she don't want to fuck on film anymore!

Kelly: Ok people, let's make some fuckie Fuckie.

Matt: But then Samnang won't get his money!
Kelly: It's funny, you say that like I care. I don't give a shit!

[after Matt's parents and Dr. Salinger leave the dining room table, both Matt and Kelly have a private conversation with an assumed adult film tape Eli and his "minions" made during prom night]
Kelly: [turning cross] So how was Prom?
Matthew: That's mine.
Kelly: You know, we were gettin' along fine. But now you go and do this? This was my idea. Now I'm really gonna fuck your shit up!
Matthew: I'm gonna need that back.
Kelly: Oh.
[Kelly pushes the tape towards him]
Kelly: Take it from me.
[Matt leans forward and thinks about it, but Kelly thinks he's chicken]
Kelly: Yeah. What are you gonna do?
Matthew: [becomes brave] I don't have to do anything. Hugo Posh will. He's my partner on this 50-50. So... can I please have my tape back?
Kelly: FUCK...!
[coughs, then whispers]
Kelly: Fuck you. I'm takin' your half then.
Matthew: No. That money's going to Samnang. The money you stole from him!
Kelly: You say that like I care. I don't give a shit! You're giving me your half.
Matthew: And if I don't?
Kelly: [picks up the tape] Showtime.

Kelly: [after seeing the tape] What the fuck is this shit?

Kelly: [Kelly has just been sent a box of cigars by Matthew, containing a note saying "The Juice Was Worth The Squeeze"] Fuckin' kid.

Matthew: Okay.
Kelly: Okay what?
Matthew: [dares Kelly] Show 'em the tape.
Kelly: I'm not fuckin' around.
Matthew: I just don't care anymore.
Kelly: This... is gonna be interesting.

Kelly: Ah, it's cool. I like runnin' errands.