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Quotes for
Rico (Character)
from "The Penguins of Madagascar" (2008)

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"The Penguins of Madagascar: I Was a Penguin Zombie/Sting Operation (#1.23)" (2009)
Skipper: I don't like it. What do you make of it, Kowalski?
Kowalski: I'm not sure, Skipper. It could be anything.
Skipper: Oh really? Could it be Alaska?
Kowalski: Nooo... Its probably not A...
Skipper: Are you saying that Alaska might be stuck upside down to the clock tower of my zoo?
Kowalski: I guess...
Skipper: Because I think people would notice if the entire state of Alaska just packed up and moved to the zoo.
Kowalski: Alright! Maybe it couldn't be anything!
Rico: Wuuh.
Skipper: I'm sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown.
Kowalski: No duh.

Skipper: This does not wash! We're penguins, they're insects. We've got the size advantage.
Private: But Skipper, they've got the owie advantage.
Rico: Owie!
Private: We can't take out their nest without entering a world of pain.
Skipper: Kowalski, were are we on eliminating pain?
Kowalski: Way ahead of you, Skipper. I have been perfecting a pain elimination helmet.
[Puts on helmet and taps it to activate it]
Kowalski: As you will see, the nerve inhibiting matrix will provide 100% protection from any kind of...
[Lets a cinder block fall on his flipper]
Kowalski: Aah! It's not perfected! Oh, it hurts! It hurts so bad!

Private: Is he gone?
Kowalski: No sign of him - Aaah!
Private: What was that for?
Kowalski: I just assumed he was going to pop out of no- Look behind you!
Private, Rico: Aaaah!
Kowalski: And once again I appear to be mistaken. Hmm. Guess it just goes to show you can never tell...
[Suddenly Skipper pops up beneath them, and they all run away screaming]

Kowalski: Okay, let's get stupid!
[Turns on degausser on Private; he falls unconscious]
Kowalski: Private? Are you all right?
Skipper: Rico, my medical supplies.
[Rico coughs up two rubber gloves; Skipper slaps Private with them until he's conscious]
Private: Ooh, is that a cotton candy machine? I like cotton candy.
[Goes to machine and gets shocked]
Kowalski: Eureka! Stupid mission accomplished!
Skipper: All we need to do now is to point him towards the hornet's nest and...
Private: Oh, pretty shiny light machine.
Kowalski: No, not the degausser!
Private: [Turns on degausser and waves it over his head] I'm a disco penguin.
Kowalski: Be careful!
[the degausser drains all of their thoughts; they fall unconscious]
Private: Hello?
Kowalski, Skipper: I like degaussing!
[Rico laughs stupidly]
Kowalski, Skipper, Private, Rico: Yay!

Private: Thoughts returning.
Kowalski: Picked up some of Rico's... Ugh! So horrible.
Rico: Sorry.

Mort: You want me to talk to the bees?
Skipper: Hornets, and talking ain't gonna cut it. We need you to do something more decisive.
Mort: Kisses and huggies?
Kowalski: We... need you... to go up there... and remove... the hornet's... nest!
Mort: Then can I play in the bee's house?
Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, Private: Hornets!

The Madagascar Penguins in a Christmas Caper (2005)
Skipper: He's in trouble.
Rico: [starts to light a stick of dynamite] Kaboom!
Skipper: Stand down, soldier. We're in observation mode.

Skipper: Shitake mushrooms! No more Mr. Cute and Cuddly.
Rico: [grabs stang of dynamite] Kaboom-kaboom-kaboom!
Skipper: Rico! Enough with the dynamite already!
Rico: [sighs disappointed] Aww.

Skipper: Lets blow this popsicle stand, boys!
Rico: [Grabs stick of dynamite] Kaaboooom?
Skipper: Yes, Rico. Kaaboom.

Rico: Eggno-o-o-og! Eggnog! Eggnog!

Kowalski: How are we going to get inside?
Rico: [Lights a fuse] Ka-boom! Ka-boom!
Skipper: I have a better idea.
[Puts out the fuse]
Rico: Oh.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Can't Touch This/Hard Boiled Eggy (#2.3)" (2010)
Randy: I guess my life will just be caramel apples, cotton candy and lollipops.
Private, Rico: Yum!
Randy: ...stuck to my wolly butt!
Private: Oh. Yuck.
Rico: Oh... Yum!

Kowalski: Well, I call that mission accomplished. So, what do we do with the rest of our day?
Private: Oh! We could get temporary tattoos, and, um, motocycle club nicknames.
Rico: Vroom! Vroo-vroo-vroom, vroom!
Kowalski: I'll be Bobby Thunderskull!
Skipper: All in favor of Private's tattoos and nicknames plan say...
Maurice: [offscreen] Waaugh!
Kowalski: Waaugh! Um... we should probably do something.

Skipper: Men, I need options. And not our regular options. The options we bust out for special guests.
[Rico barfs out a balloon]
Skipper: I admire your moxie, Rico, but I think we should save the victory party until after.
Kowalski: Skipper, I think what Rico means is to rub the balloon on Randy's coat to create a static charge that will prove most shocking.
Rico: Yep-a-doodle!
Skipper: Oh, well then, go for it.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Misfortune Cookie/Lemur See, Lemur Do (#1.16)" (2009)
Skipper: Kowalski, report.
Kowalski: The robot...
Rico: Boom.
King Julien: Aaaagh! What - what has been done by you to my poor Lemmy?
Kowalski: Well, we... It was an accident.
Private: We didn't mean to blow him up.
Rico: Kablamo!
King Julien: He was the only robot I was ever loving.
Skipper: We're sorry, Ringtail. We just knew what was best.
Rico: Kablamo!
King Julien: Kablowing him up was the best?
Rico: Kablamo!
Skipper: Okay, we said we knew what was best. We just didn't do what was best.
[Julien leaves, crestfallen]
Rico: [Sadly] Kablamo.

Private: Skipper, I feel bad about this.
Skipper: Same here, young Private.
Kowalski: It's as if there's a deep, dark abyss in the center of your soul, and all that is light and good in the world is slipping into it.
Rico: Yup.
Kowalski: This must be what it feels like when you've done the wrong thing.
Private: We've never done the wrong thing before. I don't like it.

Marlene: [collecting coins from the fountain] I've got one dollar and seventeen cents.
Rico: [Barfs up a whole lot of coins] Ta-da!
Marlene: And Rico got the rest, which is both impressive and gross.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Mr. Tux/Concrete Jungle Survival (#2.6)" (2010)
Skipper: [reading from a folder and laughing] That's classic!
Private: All right then, Skipper?
Skipper: At ease, Private. I was just laughing at a joke in our mission files.
Private: Is it a funny one?
Skipper: Oh, yeah.
Private: Can I see it, then?
Skipper: Classified!
Kowlaski: What's classified?
[Skipper shows Kowalski the file, he laughs]
Kowlaski: Classic.
Private: Well, why does Kowalski get to see it?
Skipper: Because he's got security clearance. We can't go around showing our classified information to just anybody. Rico! You gotta see this!
Rico: [Reads and laughs] Classic!

Private: Any more advice, trusty survival guide?
Skipper: [on recording] This recording will self-destruct... right now!
[Rico appears and beats up recorder with bat]
Rico: Good luck!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Over Phil/Miss Understanding (#1.25)" (2009)
Alice: The penguin is native to Antarctica.
Smart Kid: Ooh, ooh, did you know a group of penguins is called a rookery?
Alice: It's a bird, but it doesn't fly.
Smart Kid: Did you know that penguins can swim 15 miles an hour?
Skipper: Keep an eye on Johnny Smart-glasses. The boy knows too much.
Rico: [gets behind the kid with a baseball bat] Hey, batter, batter, batter! Hey, batter, batter, batter...
Skipper: Not yet. I wanna know where he gets his intel.
Smart Kid: Did you know the only way to tell boy penguins from girl penguins is a DNA test, huh?
Skipper: Never mind, boys. Kid's off his wingnut.
Skipper: Like we need some DNA test to tell us we're 100% Antarctic macho.
Rico: Hoo-ah!
Alice: Listen, kid! All I know is we've got three males and a female. The birds know which is which.
Rico: [looks down at his crotch] Um...

Private: I think a wonderful way to begin would be to say something positive about Phil.
Mason: Very well. I am positive that Phil is disgusting and inconsiderate.
[Phil signs]
Skipper: What did he say?
Kowalski: No idea.
Mason: Go pound bananas?
Rico: Ooooh!
Kowalski: Tell it like it is, primate!
Skipper: You go!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Go Fish/Miracle on Ice (#1.13)" (2009)
Skipper: Well, that was... What's the word I'm looking for?
Rico: Phbt!
Skipper: Yeah, that's the one.

Rico: [Weakly] Fish... fish!
Kowalski: 67 hours without the succulent, salty tang of the sea. He can't take much more.
Skipper: Neither can I.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: What Goes Around/Mask of the Raccoon (#1.21)" (2009)
Skipper: Ah, closing time. Are there two sweeter words known to man or beast?
Private: Puppy love?
Rico: Ka... boom?
Kowalski: Plutonium-fueled-DNA-mutating-abomination-monster maker.
Rico: Huh?
Kowalski: The first word's hypenated.
Skipper: Yeah, yeah, all good. But the words I was thinking of were...
Little Girl: My dolly!
Private: [snickering] Skipper?
Skipper: That wasn't me! That was...
Little Girl: I lost my dolly!
Skipper: Hot-molded plastic! Dolly down! Rescue operation is a go, go, go!

Private: You're a dirty, dirty liar! And your pants are on fire!
Rico: Whoa!
Private: And - and you go jump up and touch a telephone wire! That's what a dirty liar you are!
Skipper: Stand down, Private. We'll take it from here.
Archie: Thanks. Some of those things he said were really hurtful.
Skipper: Mister, you're just entering a world of hurt! Kowalski, hurt options.
Kowalski: The Vulcan towel snap?
Skipper: Possibly. Go on.
Kowalski: The Spanish wet willie?
Skipper: Intriguing.
Kowalski: The Croatian purple nurple?
Skipper: Bingo! Gentlemen, we have a winner. Rico, do the honors.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Zoo Tube/Snakehead! (#1.27)" (2010)
Private: Teeth! So many sharp, jagged teeth!
Kowalski: It was those black, soulless eyes that got me.
Skipper: Rico, get a load of these two yellow bellies.
Rico: [cowering behind a block] Yeah! Yellow bellies. He-he.
Skipper: Don't tell me you're afraid too.
Rico: Uh-huh!

Kowalski: I'm so ashamed.
Private: Me too.
Rico: Uh-huh.
Kowalski: Not so ashamed that I'd go out there.
Private: Gosh, no!
Rico: Nu-huh!

Penguins of Madagascar (2014)
Dave: The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my BURNING thirst for revenge...
[Skipper and Kowalski are confused]
Dave: ...and my precious souvenir snow globe collection.
[sees Rico swallowing all of his snow globes]
Dave: [groans] What is WRONG with you?
Rico: [mumbles] I dunno.

Skipper: [Dave drops from the ceiling in human disguise] Who are you?
Dave: The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine, renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives... but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hoped you'd never hear again. A PHANTOM! A shadow of a former life! I... AM...
[rips off disguise, but wig remains on his head]
Dave: Dave!
Skipper: [Whispers] Kowalski?
Kowalski: [Whispers back] Sorry, sir, no clue.
Dave: [Looks up, sees the wig on his head, and pulls it off] Dave!
Skipper: Dave?
Kowalski: Dave...?
Dave: Dave!
Private: [Smiles] Dave!
Dave: [Annoyed] DA-VUH!
Rico: [Rolls his eyes] Bleh.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: An Elephant Never Forgets/Otter Things Have Happened (#1.26)" (2009)
Skipper: So, what's the trouble, Long Trunks?
Burt: You guys gotta help me. I need to get out of the zoo and across town, today!
Private: Ooh, a breakout.
Kowalski: Complicated by crosstown transport of the world's largest land mammal.
Skipper: That's a pretty tall order, my ginormous friend. May I ask why?
Burt: Let's just say an elephant never forgets.
Rico: Uhh...
Skipper: Ooh, dark and sinister sounding with the classic pachyderm cliché. Big man, you play me like a fiddle.

Skipper: [the penguins discover some photos pinned on Burt's habitat] Well, this is, uh, disturbing, to me. Anyone else?
Private: I'm disturbed as well, Skipper.
Kowalski: [Focusing on a photo of a kid] Look at that kid with the kazoo. Could it be? The legendary Kid Kazoo?
Rico: Kid Kazoo?
Kowalski: You know, Kid Kazoo? The scourge of the Central Park Zoo? Surely you've heard the tales. He was a Sunday regular, a real piece of work, with a smile like a bear trap, and a laugh like a deranged birthday clown. But the sickest thing was that kazoo, screeching incessantly like a kindergarten orchestra.
Private: That sounds horrible, Kowalski.
Kowalski: Kazoos always do, Private. But no one had it worse than poor Burt. With those jumbo-sized ears, that constant buzzing was unbearable. He hated that kazoo! I wonder what ever happened to the little maniac?
Skipper: [Looks at a picture of an adult man] Wait a minute. Look at those shifty eyes. That devious half-smile. Those kazoo-kissed lips.
Kowalski: By Newton's apple, you're right! It's Kid Kazoo all grown up!
Rico: Wow!
Private: Burt really knows how to hold a grudge. For years, apparently.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Cat's Cradle/Monkey Love (#1.19)" (2009)
Skipper: Eyes on the prize, Kowalski. Crack the new habitat security code, and we'll be swimming in all the fish we can stomach.
Rico: Fiiish! Ha-ha-ha!
Kowalski: I'm trying, but this is the most advanced encryption I've ever seen. It's got sudoku with fractions!
Skipper: Have you tried the master code?
Kowalski: One, two, three, four, five. Darn! Nothing!
Skipper: Now try it backwards.
Kowalski: Five, four, three, two, one. Aah!
Skipper: Now start at three...
Rico: Fiiiish!
[Spits out a chainsaw and cuts through the computer]
Kowalski: Wow. We're in!
Skipper: Way to hack that mainframe, Rico!

Max: It's Animal Control! They're after me! Do you have any idea what those maniacs do to stray cats? Do you?
Rico: Uh-uh.
Max: Me neither.
Skipper: Well, you're not finding out tonight.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Jiggles (#1.28)" (2010)
Rico: Uh...
Private: Kowalski...
Skipper: Should we be concerned?
Kowalski: About what, Skipper?
Skipper: Oh, I don't know. Let's start with your monster!
Kowalski: Monster is a tad judgemental, isn't it?
Skipper: I call them as I see them.
Kowalski: Just because Jiggles has no central nervous system doesn't mean he has no feelings.
Skipper: He's a big blob of mad science, man!
Kowalski: Well, if he wasn't before, this scientist is mad now!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Happy King Julien Day! (#1.3)" (2009)
Skipper: Maurice thinks he can bribe us with his piñata promises. Pity for him, penguins are not for sale. Right, men?
Private: I wonder what's in that piñata? I bet it's full of butterscotch lollies and sour balls.
Kowalski: I'd say we're looking at a 50/50 mix of gummy fish and candy buttons.
Rico: Yay, buttons!
Skipper: We may never know, because today we are performing scheduled maintenance on the HQ.
Kowalski: Perhaps we can reschedule?
Skipper: We can't just reschedule scheduled maintenance that's been scheduled, right here on the schedule.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Driven to the Brink/Friend-in-a-Box (#2.14)" (2010)
Private: Looks like someone got a new circuit board.
Kowalski: Yes, state of the art processor, hollah!
Private: So where did you get it?
Kowalski: Uh, I...
Private: Come again?
Kowalski: I got it from...
Private: You got it from where?
Kowalski: I took it from Mort's video game, all right? I stole from poor, innocent Mort to fuel my own scientific ambitions! But it was totally worth it. See?
[Turns on psychotron]
Private: [thoughts transmitted from psychotron] Oh, Kowalski. How could you?
Skipper: [Thoughts transmitted from phsychotron] This side of you makes me want to throw up in my beak!
Rico: [Thoughts transmitted from psychotron] Fiiiiish!
Kowalski: [Thoughts transmitted from psychotron] They're right. I'm a monster. A selfish monster!
Kowalski: Oh, what have I done?
[Throws psychotron across room; King Julien enters and poses next to psychotron]
King Julien: [thoughts transmitted from psychotron] I would look good in pantaloons.
King Julien: Yes, I agree with the voice that sounds like me. Pantaloons would accent my regality, but that is not why I'm here.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Cute-astrophe (#2.24)" (2011)
[Kowalski's Adorablizer overloaded, which causes Private to perform an innocent-looking pose, which resulted in knocking everyone back]
Private: [concerned] Skipper, what happened?
Skipper: [winded] Kowalski, talk to me.
Kowalski: [surprised] It appears that Private has discovered some sort of Quantum Hyper Cute! 132% adorability!
Rico: Wow!
Private: Is that even possible?
Kowalski: Scientifically, no.
Skipper: [proudly] Way to stick it to science, Private. Now let's go cute us up some fish!

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Needle Point/Eclipsed (#1.14)" (2009)
Private: Skipper, something's wrong with the sun.
Skipper: He finally did it!
Private: Who did what?
Skipper: My mad dolphin nemesis, Dr. Blowhole! He blew out the sun!
Kowalski: Actually, according to my calculations, it is the rare cosmic event known as a solar eclipse.
Rico: Huh?
Skipper: Are you sure it's not the crazed handiwork of my marine mammal foe?
Kowalski: It's totally natural. The moon is between the sun and the Earth... Ooh, it's a total eclipse! Wow! Are you as totally stoked about this as I am?

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Popcorn Panic (#1.12)" (2009)
Skipper: Look alive, men. Time to get us some popcorn. Prepare to commence Operation: Popcorn.
Kowalski: A bit on the nose, isn't it, Skipper?
Private: Easy to remember, though.
Rico: [Mumbling] Popcorn!
Skipper: Roger that, Rico.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: All King, No Kingdom/Untouchable (#1.24)" (2009)
Skipper: [Recuperating from the poison] Sound off, Kowalski.
Kowalski: I can taste sound. But that's over now.
Skipper: Rico?
[Rico moans]
Barry: [Playing checkers with Private, who's still wearing the metal suit] King me!
Skipper: Is everyone else seeing a poisonous frog playing checkers with a robot penguin?
Rico: Uh-huh!
Skipper: Right. Back on the rack, men.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Tagged (#1.20)" (2009)
Skipper: Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski: Ankle bracelets with tracking devices. They can monitor our every move.
Skipper: That ain't gonna fly! No one can know our whereabouts at any time, not even us. Rico, hacksaw me!
[Rico hocks out a hacksaw, Skipper catches it]
Private: Skipper, are you going to saw off the bracelet?
Skipper: Bracelet? I was just going to saw off my foot. But you might have something there, Private.
Kowalski: Wait, Skipper! Tamper-proof lining. If you cut the bracelet, it would break and set off the alarm.
Skipper: Well, men, it looks like we've got us a waiting game.
Kowalski: I'm afraid we don't have time to wait, Skipper. We left the air conditioning room before I could install the cooling attachment. Without it, the heat inside the furnace will built up until...
Rico: Kaboom!
Private: [faints] Oh dear.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: The Red Squirrel/It's About Time (#2.1)" (2010)
Skipper: Problem solved. Now go invent something that won't destroy the world.
Private: Like a snow cone machine.
Rico: Snow cone!
Kowalski: Snow cone, eh?
[Cut to New York submerged in snow cone]
Skipper: Kowalski! You maniac! You did it! You finally did it!
Kowalski: Yes, but you've got to admit, these are great snow cones.
Skipper: Oh, yes. Definitely worth it.

"The Penguins of Madagascar: Out of the Groove/Jungle Law (#1.22)" (2009)
Skipper: [starts dancing] That ain't right! Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski: Skipper, you seem to be shaking your booty.
Private: Quite impressively, I might add.
Rico: Uh-huh!
Skipper: I'm not doing this. Something's making me dance.
King Julien: You... you have my groove! It is not all bye-byed after all! Yes!
Skipper: Get it outta me!
King Julien: I don't know how.
Darla: Guess who does.
Mort: Is it Santa?
Darla: Yea... what? No! I'm the only one who can fix this. But am I gonna?
Mort: Santa would.
Darla: Well, I ain't Santa!
Private: What if Julien apologized?
Darla: That's all I'm asking.
King Julien: Have I not made my policy on apologizing clear? It is for the weak and wrong.
Skipper: Listen, Ringtail. I'm about to show you how weak and wrong you are. Apologize now.
King Julien: Uh-uh.
Skipper: Okay then. Let's dance!