Det. Dave Starsky
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Quotes for
Det. Dave Starsky (Character)
from "Starsky and Hutch" (1975)

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Starsky & Hutch (2004)
Hutch: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we're gonna stick to this?
Starsky: I've always had a thing for blondes.
Hutch: Good, cause I'll take anything.

Starsky: Stop shooting my car.

Starsky: In Bay City, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.

Starsky: [in a deep Brooklyn-ish accent to prepare for a disguise] Hey, do me a favor, tip your hat forward. Just tilt it forward. C'mon.
Hutch: No, I like it where it is.
Starsky: No, seriously, come on, do it. Do it.
Hutch: Will you... will you stop with that. That voice makes you sound crazy.
Starsky: It does not make me sound crazy, it makes me sound like "Maury Finkle, founder of Finkle Fixtures, Biggest Lighting Fixture Chain in the Southland."
Hutch: Ohhhh, it's a little voice and a character. You got a whole back story. That's good.
Starsky: Yeah, little touches, ya know, little touches, little details. Ya wanna make the character full, real.

Starsky: Do it.

Starsky: Like you said, Feldman: Everybody deserves a second chance.
[Starsky fires at the front trunk of a Volkswagen]
Hutch: Whoa, what have we here? Does this look familiar? Some cocaine. Captain Doby, I suggest you take this to the lab and have it analyzed this time...
Starsky: [Reese grabs Hutch; puts a gun to Hutch's neck] Hutch!
Reese Feldman: Alright, freeze! Alright, everybody freeze! Put your hands where I can see them! Do it now!
Kevin: Put it down!
Captain Doby: You relax pal. Relax!
Kevin: Let's do it!
Reese Feldman: Put that gun down or I'm gonna kill your friend right here. Do it now!
Kevin: What the hell are we doing?
Reese Feldman: Do it now! Put it down!

Starsky: [Heather takes off her top and bottoms] So, did you uh... When did he... Did he... What... So Hutch do you got any more questions?
Hutch: Yeah, well, uh sure. We could... What's your sign?
Heather: Gemini.
Starsky: What uh... What do you weigh?
Heather: What does that have to do with anything?
Starsky: It has everything to do with anything and just answer the question please, ma'am.
Heather: Around 115 I guess, give or take. I wish I could be more helpful.
Hutch: Stop. Don't do that. You've been great. It's been terrific.
Heather: Anything else?
Starsky: I'm good.
Hutch: Yeah.
Starsky: Yeah.
Hutch: Thank you so much.

Hutch: [waiting outside Huggy's club] What, you've never run an errand on the clock before?
Starsky: No, I happen to take care of my personal business after work. When the taxpayers aren't paying me to protect them.
Hutch: Give me a break. You've never stopped and bought yourself a cup of coffee?
Starsky: I bring a thermos.

Huggy Bear: Hutch, you'll have the usual?
Hutch: You know it and make it a double.
Huggy Bear: Leon, get my a man a jack and tab. And double that.
Leon: You got it boss.
Starsky: Hey, I'll get a seltzer with a little lime if you got it.
Huggy Bear: I don't got it.
Starsky: Or not. That's cool. I'm good.

Hutch: [after seeing the Grand Torino] Whoa! Your stock just went up in my book, my friend. Pop the hood, let me see what you got under...
Starsky: Hey! Hotshot! What do you think you're doing? This is a Ford Grand Torino. It's not some crappy camper slash apartment. There are rules.
Hutch: Okay, okay.
Starsky: You do not bang on the hood. You never under any circumstances drive. And you will certainly not put your coffee mug on the roof of the car. In fact, no coffee in the car whatsoever. Coffee goes on the ground, you get in the car, we go.

Hutch: You gotta be kidding me. No way!
Starsky: What?
Hutch: A floater. Nothing harder to solve than a floater. No prints, body's usually bloated, it's next to impossible. All right, I say we push it out and hope the current pushes it down to the next precinct.
[Hutch tries to push the body away with a stick]
Starsky: Whoa, what are you doing?
Hutch: Trust me, you're gonna thank me for this one.
Starsky: Hey, seriously stop it.
Hutch: The key is not to pop it. You gotta be very ginger.
Starsky: Hey!
[Starsky points a gun at Hutch]
Hutch: What are you doing?
Starsky: I said drop the stick.
Hutch: You're gonna point a gun at me? Okay, fine, have it your way. If it's so important knock yourself out. What are you gonna solve anyway?
Starsky: A murder. I'm gonna solve a murder.

Hutch: Look at all these cops. You really want to eat here?
Starsky: It's a great place. Pop's? Come on. If you're one of the cops you eat at Pop's.

Hutch: What do you hear on the street these days, Huggy?
Huggy Bear: Dig this. A little bird tells me there's gonna be a big coke deal in Bay City. One for the Guinness books. So they say.
Starsky: Interesting. Who would this little bird be?
Huggy Bear: Look man. I lay it out for y'all to play it out.
Starsky: All right. What does that mean?
Hutch: Don't worry about it.

Big Earl: [Starsky tries to bribe Big Earl] I'll tell you what, I do like your blonde friend here. Let me see your belly button.
Hutch: No. Let's go.
[hangs up the phone]
Starsky: Hold on a second. The guy's obviously a freak. Just show him a little skin. Show him your stomach. Nobody's here.
Big Earl: Are we cool?
Starsky: Yes, we're cool.
Big Earl: [Hutch shows his stomach] Oh, eureka. God, that's nice. It's like a little bowl of oatmeal with a hole in it. I got one too. I just got a little more brown sugar on mine.

Starsky: Hey, Hutch, I beat that guy. What was that about?
Hutch: Sure you did. You won.
Starsky: You saw.
Hutch: You won. You danced your heart out.
Starsky: And everybody saw it.
Hutch: Shhh. Go to sleep.
Starsky: I was robbed.
Hutch: I know. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, tiny dancer.

Starsky: [kid throws a knife and hits Starsky] Ow! Oh, mama! What is your problem?

Chau: [after the bullet falls back into the gun] Wait! There's really a bullet in the gun!
Starsky: [shouts] Yes? I know... That is the point of?Russian Roulette!

Waitress: Hi, can I get you two a drink?
Starsky: You sure can sweetheart. Johnnie Red neat, ok, do it, Do It.
Waitress: Alright, and you?
Hutch: Do it, Bacardi and cola, do it, do it.
Waitress: Ok? I'll be right back.
Starsky: What are you doing?
Hutch: What?
Starsky: What was that? You just stole my voice.
Hutch: No, I didn't.
Starsky: Yes, you did. You got to come up with your own voice, ok, that's my thing.
Hutch: What am I supposed to do? I don't have a great cool little voice like you do.
Starsky: You come up with your own character. That's why you're the Texas oil tycoon guy...

Huggy Bear: I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch.
Starsky: Come on Huggy, what's the difference?
Huggy Bear: A snitch wears a wire. A snitch is the scum of the information industry.

Kevin: Tonight's second winner: Number 1-1-7.
Monix: Right on! Yeah!
Hutch: Yee-ha! Whoo! Yes! Thank you very much.
Starsky: Sit now. Do it.
Starsky: Do it!
Hutch: The big man has just hit the mother lode! Old Shakes McGinty did it! Yes! Unbelievable!
Starsky: [as Finkle] This is incredible.
Hutch: I'm a rich man, and I'm gonna kiss you!

Starsky: Seriously, do it. Do it. Do it.
Reese Feldman: Listen, jackass. You either give me a ticket, or get the hell off this stage, you dig that?
[Starsky point his gun to Reese]
Reese Feldman: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.
Starsky: Pop the trunk, Candyman.
Hutch: You heard him. Pop it!
Captain Doby: What the hell are you two doing?
Starsky: Pop IT!

Starsky: A little word of advice: next time you're watching a place, don't claim that you own it just because you're watching it, OK? I house sit for my sister all the time; it's not like I claim that I own her house, ya know what I mean?

David Starsky: I like your Lincoln.
Huggy Bear: It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.

Hutch: [pointing at Starsky] I like your style.
David Starsky: [pointing at Hutch] I like your moves.

Starsky: Wrong answer, Big Earl.
Bartender: Big Earl? I'm not Big Earl, I'm Jeff.
Hutch: Yeah, sure, no-one's who they say they are.
Bartender: Seriously. Think about it, I'm not even big.
Hutch: Yeah, he's got a point.
Starsky: Maybe it's one of those ironic names like Tiny over in vice. He's like eight feet tall and everyone calls him Tiny.
Hutch: Except this guy's kind of normal size, he'd have to be a lot smaller for a name like Big Earl to be ironic.
Starsky: You don't have to be a midget, how tall are you?
Bartender: I don't know, 5'9"?
Starsky: Well that is kind of?
Hutch: It's borderline, it's average.

Starsky: That's me in the leather jacket and tight jeans.

Starsky: Come on cap, don't drag Hutch into this. I shot the pony.

Hutch: Willis, I'd like you to meet my new partner, David Starsky.
Starsky: Hi Willis.
Willis: [to Hutch] Is this the dickweed you were telling me about?
Hutch: Just shake his hand.

Hutch: Hey Reese, this is a nice boat, is it yours?
Reese Feldman: Actually, that's a yacht.
Hutch: Oh, I'm sorry, a yacht.
Starsky: Hutch, can we please focus on the investigation?

Hutch: [Reading Starsky's report on him] "cavorting with nefarious characters". "conduct unbecoming an officer".
Starsky: Come on. I wrote that thing two weeks ago, things are totally cool with us now.
Hutch: Did you go through my locker?
Starsky: No.
Hutch: You went through my locker.
Starsky: I mean, I may have looked through it while it was open but...
Hutch: If you've got a problem with someone you tell it to their face, you come to them as a man. You don't go behind their back, write a thesis and try to get transferred to another precinct.

David Starsky: [afteraccidentally shooting a horse] Hey there little fella. You okay?

Starsky: This is a bad man. And this is what bad men do.
Elizabeth: A pony?
Reese Feldman: Happy bat Mitzvah baby, I love you.
Starsky: Hey there, little fella. You OK?

Captain Doby: I believe you two know each other?
Starsky: Yeah, a little bit.
Hutch: How you doing?
Starsky: All right.

Starsky: It's 10 o'clock, you're late; I've been here since 8.
Hutch: 8 o'clock? I didn't even know this place opened at 8.
Starsky: Well, don't sweat it, 'cause ya know what? Crime called in sick, it's gonna get a late start too.
Hutch: Crime called in sick, I like that...

Starsky: Biker bar, huh? What goes on down there?
Huggy Bear: I don't know. Listen to Jim Croce, play darts... whatever the hell else you white people do.

[Starsky and Hutch are in the Captain's office]
Captain Doby: You've robbed 7 bookies over the past 6 months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money; you haven't even arrested anybody.
Hutch: How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop.
Starsky: Oh, I wouldn't worry. I don't think you're in any danger for being mistaken for a real cop.
Hutch: Oh really? Hey, why don't you do me a favor and go get yourself another perm and let the grown-ups talk.
Starsky: For your information, my hair is naturally curly.
Hutch: No it's not.
Starsky: Yes it is.
Hutch: That's a perm job all the way.
Starsky: TOUCH IT.
[Hutch touches Starsky's hair]
Captain Doby: Hey. Why are you touching him? Jesus. You know something? You two deserve each other. Make nice. You two are partners.

Starsky: Make him stop. Make him stop. Tell him to stop. Stop it.
Chau: [in Korean] Throw more knives... ALL THE TIME.
Toby: [in Korean] Yes father, I shall throw many.

Starsky: I am not my MOTHER.

Starsky: It was my mother she always used to say it was too much car for me to handle. I couldn't handle the V8.

Starsky: Hutch, let's roll.
Original Hutch: [to Hutch] I think he means you.

[last lines]
David Starsky: I'm just gonna take it slow for a while, get the feel of it.
Ken Hutchinson: No, no, that's smart. Do that.
[Starsky accelerates]
Ken Hutchinson: Starsky.
David Starsky: Hang on.
Ken Hutchinson: No. No.
David Starsky: Hang on. Woo.

Starsky: [shouting] I said, "Freeze."

Manetti: Well, if it isn't Sonny & Cher.
Starsky: Sit on it, Manetti.

Hutch: Are you crying?
Starsky: Hmm?
Hutch: Are you crying?
Starsky: [hesitating] Am I crying? I'm not crying. *You* are.
Hutch: It's okay to cry. People cry.
Starsky: [still hesitating] Well, I'm not like many people. I'm not a crier, I don't cry, I work out. I have a job, I have hobbies...

Starsky: [Feldman has a gun pointed at Hutch] Your nuts are mine Feldman, your nuts are mine.
Hutch: No they're not.
[to Feldman]
Hutch: Your nuts are yours, your nuts are yours.

Starsky: Body of a caucasian male, apparently jumped from the Bay Street Bridge...
Hutch: Well, actually there's no sign of impact so he was probably just dumped out at sea.
Starsky: Would you please not talk while I'm recording?

"Starsky and Hutch: Pilot (#1.0)" (1975)
Det. Dave Starsky: You still seeing whatshername?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Sure. Still seeing whatshername. Took her to the whatchamacallit. Gave her my thingamajig.
Det. Dave Starsky: I didn't know it was that serious.

Det. Dave Starsky: Okay, Rollie, who was supposed to kill me?
Fat Rolly: I don't know, Starsk. On my mother's life I don't know.
Det. Dave Starsky: You don't have a mother. You were found in a garbage can behind Weight Watchers.

Det. Dave Starsky: Who are we supposed to report this too? I mean, who in the Hell are we supposed to trust?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The same people we always trust. Us.

Det. Dave Starsky: Does your mommy know you use language like this?

Det. Dave Starsky: Everybody says the same thing, these two guys could never miss. I say they never miss unless they're told to.

"Starsky and Hutch: Death Ride (#1.3)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You're worried.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Relax.
Det. Dave Starsky: I'd rather worry.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Me, too. So, who do we trust, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: Like always, me and thee.

Det. Dave Starsky: [after Hutch trades Starky's $360 watch for a cab, then trades the cab for a van] So who drives?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: It's your watch.

Det. Dave Starsky: [about the gunmen] What're they doing?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh, talking.
Det. Dave Starsky: What about?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The weather.

Det. Dave Starsky: You sold me a HOT $360 watch?
Huggy Bear: It was cold when I touched it.

"Starsky and Hutch: A Coffin for Starsky (#1.21)" (1976)
Det. Dave Starsky: You know, if this was a cowboy movie, I'd give you my boots.
[Starsky and Hutch hold hands]
Det. Dave Starsky: You're my pal, Hutch.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Thanks buddy... but what'd you have to do that for? He was the only guy that knew.
Det. Dave Starsky: [hardly breathing] Seemed to be a good idea at the time.

Det. Dave Starsky: Find my pants.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I've got your watch.
Det. Dave Starsky: You forgot my pants?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Uh...
Det. Dave Starsky: You mean you want me to hit the streets with no pants, no badge, no gun, no dignity? What's the matter with you?
[to doctor]
Det. Dave Starsky: Do you believe him?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You know, you're right, Starsk, I should have left you lying on the floor while I decided which pair of your equally crummy blue jeans I should pack.

"Starsky and Hutch: The Fix (#1.5)" (1975)
Capt. Harold Dobey: [sees Starsky walking past his office with a candy bar in his mouth] Starsky!
Det. Dave Starsky: [muffled from the candy bar] Mornin', Cap'n.
Capt. Harold Dobey: [angrily] *Get in here!* It's the middle of the afternoon! Where's that partner of yours?
Det. Dave Starsky: It's his day off, Captain.
Capt. Harold Dobey: His day off ended this morning. Now suppose you stop covering for him, get your tail on the horn, and tell him I said get his rear end in here!
Det. Dave Starsky: The truth is, Captain, he's sick.
Capt. Harold Dobey: He ain't called in sick!
Det. Dave Starsky: Well, you know how it is, he's in love.
Capt. Harold Dobey: What you mean is he's shacked up.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah, well, uh... she *is* a pretty girl, Captain.
Capt. Harold Dobey: [completely uncharmed] You tell him I want him in here in one hour, and ready for duty. You tell him that.
Det. Dave Starsky: There's only one problem, Captain.
Capt. Harold Dobey: What's that?
Det. Dave Starsky: I don't know where he is to tell him that.

Officer Bernie Glassman: [Bernie and Starsky have found Hutch and have discovered he's addicted to heroin] I've got to make a report!
Det. Dave Starsky: No! No report. This didn't happen, Bernie. Understand? This didn't happen.

Det. Dave Starsky: [Starsky has just found Hutch's gun in his apartment and knows something has happened to him] I'm telling you, he's gone!
Capt. Harold Dobey: No he isn't. He's out on a date with a beautiful girl, to use your words.
Det. Dave Starsky: [frustrated] Captain, you don't understand!
Capt. Harold Dobey: What do you mean, I don't understand?
Det. Dave Starsky: I found his gun back in his apartment.
Capt. Harold Dobey: [skeptical] Do you take that gun out with you when you go on a date?
Det. Dave Starsky: [angrily] Hutch wouldn't visit his *mother* without a gun!
Capt. Harold Dobey: [firmly] All right, Starsky settle down!
[Starsky calms down]
Capt. Harold Dobey: What do you think happened to him?
Det. Dave Starsky: [crossly] I don't know.
Capt. Harold Dobey: Well, you know about that girl.
Det. Dave Starsky: I know her name, I know where she lives...
Capt. Harold Dobey: And?
Det. Dave Starsky: I can't find her, either.
Capt. Harold Dobey: What do you want to do about it?
Det. Dave Starsky: Missing Persons?
Capt. Harold Dobey: That's a 'missing officer.'
Det. Dave Starsky: No, I mean 'missing partner.'

"Starsky and Hutch: The Psychic (#2.15)" (1977)
[first lines]
Starsky: Where's he going?
Hutch: If you ever catch him you can ask him.
Starsky: If I ever catch him I won't have to ask him.

[last lines]
Starsky: Well, Huggy, as a psychic I'd say you have a few more lessons to go.
Huggy Bear: What do you mean?
Starsky: I'm pickles. He's onions.

Starsky: I thought you were dead.
Hutch: Bullet-proof vest, remember?
Starsky: I forgot.

"Starsky and Hutch: Lady Blue (#1.10)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Looking out the window of his home] Hey, Starsk, you see that sunset?
Det. Dave Starsky: [Laying on the couch] Nah, that's okay.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You really oughtta take a look at it.
Det. Dave Starsky: Why? It happens every night.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: It's beautiful! Every color of the spectrum, constantly changing. Blue, gold, red, purple...
Det. Dave Starsky: You been keepin' Reader's Digest in the john again? 'Ways to More Colorful Speech'?

Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, I'm a cop, not a vigilante. And especially because this was Helen, what will go down will be the most professional homicide investigation ever conducted by this department. I'm going to walk that guy into a court, and a judge is going to imprison or institutionalize him for the rest of his life. So help me, God.

"Starsky and Hutch: Shootout (#1.14)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Sure your arm's gonna be all right?
Det. Dave Starsky: Couldn't be better. I told ya, Gene Autry gets it there all the time.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You know something? You look terrible.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, don't let me fool you; I played Camille in high school.

"Starsky and Hutch: Gillian (#2.5)" (1976)
Det. Dave Starsky: Never did see them. Did you? I thought you got hit back there. What happened? You're shaking.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I'm scared, Starsk. I'm scared.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. Me too. Every time I pull this thing.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: No, that's not what I'm talking about. I froze. For the first time I got to thinking I could have gotten you killed.
Det. Dave Starsky: No way. You see the way they took off.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah, but if they hadn't! I didn't move up the way you did. I didn't cover you. I didn't work the way we work.
Det. Dave Starsky: Forget it! Your mind was elsewhere. Come on.

Det. Dave Starsky: Come on. What are you gonna do? Do you wanna hit me again, huh? Is that what you want? She was a prostitute. And there's nothing you can do or say that's gonna change that fact or the fact that she loved you and she was about to give all this up just for you. That's probably why Grossman killed her... Hey, how many years have we known each other, huh? You're the best friend I got in the whole world. You think I like saying things like this to you?
[Hutch breaks down and they wrap their arms around each other]
Det. Dave Starsky: It's okay now. It's gonna be okay. Get it out partner. We got some work to do.

"Starsky and Hutch: Losing Streak (#1.16)" (1976)
Olivia: [Pinching Starsky's cheek] Anyone ever tell you you're as cute as a teddy bear?
Det. Dave Starsky: [to Hutch] I can't help it.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I didn't know Little Orphan Annie was still around.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. She's developin'.

"Starsky and Hutch: I Love You, Rosey Malone (#3.3)" (1977)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Did you find out anything?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. I found out that I'm capable of being a two-faced, loving, lying hypocrite!
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Join the human race.

Capt. Harold Dobey: Starsky, you ever hear of something called "tact"?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. Something like being dishonest, isn't it?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: That's good.

"Starsky and Hutch: Omaha Tiger (#1.18)" (1976)
Huggy Bear: Welcome to Rodent Downs, gentlemen. Just a friendly game of chance amongst friends.
Det. Dave Starsky: Mouse racing?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I don't believe it.
Huggy Bear: Well, you ever try to get ten horses in a basement?

Det. Dave Starsky: [Upon discovering a dead body in a shower stall] Tell me he slipped on a bar of soap.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: He slipped on a bar of soap.
Det. Dave Starsky: I don't believe it.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Neither do I.

"Starsky and Hutch: Little Girl Lost (#2.13)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Nope.
Det. Dave Starsky: Come on, you can tell me. It's only a couple of days before Christmas.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: There's nothing to tell, Starsk. Nothing to tell.
Det. Dave Starsky: You really want me to believe you got me nothing for Christmas?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I didn't. Hey, look, it's nothing personal. It's just that this year for the first time, I decided I was not gonna get caught up in that phony wave of euphoric sentimentalism orchestrated by the clanging of cash registers.
Det. Dave Starsky: Euphoric sentimentalism?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: That's right. It's the principle of the thing. You know, I get so sick and tired of people walking up to me, people I don't even know and wishing me a Merry Christmas. Don't you?
Det. Dave Starsky: No.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Well, they don't mean it. I mean, 51 weeks out of the year, they'd rather take your head off or run you down with their cars and then suddenly one week before Christmas everybody gets caught up in that phony wave of...
Det. Dave Starsky: Euphoric sentimentalism.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: That's right. Well, not this kid. No, sir, not me. I'm not gonna be any pinup boy for the Better Business Bureau.
Det. Dave Starsky: A sweater! You got me a sweater. The one I saw...
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Starsky, I did not get you a sweater.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: All right, what's your name?
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, you play ball? Me too.
Molly Edwards: Now, what's that? Your Barnaby Jones act? Don't try to con me, turkey.

"Starsky and Hutch: Starsky and Hutch Are Guilty (#2.25)" (1977)
Captain Ryan: [Discussing Oscar Newton] What do you know about him?
Det. Dave Starsky: He's a junkie. Takes a few tips, turns over a few hot items. Nothin' big. Makes enough to feed his habit, keep off welfare.
Captain Ryan: Real outstanding citizen that you never busted.
Det. Dave Starsky: That's right. If we bust him, what does he get? Thirty to sixty days to dry out? He's worth more to us on the street. He's a good snitch. I know you don't approve, Chief, but that's the way a cop's gotta operate these days.

Capt. Harold Dobey: [Discussing the apparent frame up] You gotta hang in there. These things have a way of working themselves out.
Det. Dave Starsky: Why does that sound like something Nixon might've said to Haldeman and Ehrlichman?

"Starsky and Hutch: JoJo (#1.19)" (1976)
Merl the Earl: Say, I know you.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah, you know my Uncle Al.
Merl the Earl: Right, right. You drive that red tomato with the white stripe.
Det. Dave Starsky: Uh, red Torino.
Merl the Earl: Tomato, tomahto, what's the difference?

Bettin: All right, what the hell are you doing? We have Jojo under surveillance and all of a sudden you pick him up?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Surprised it took you this long to find us.
Bettin: Listen!
Det. Dave Starsky: Ssshhh! Now calm down, will ya? We just decided to take Jojo out for a bite to eat - only he ain't hungry.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah. And after that, us girls are gonna do a little shopping.

"Starsky and Hutch: Silence (#1.17)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You ever see a fat lion, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: Come to think about it, I've never seen a thin hippopotamus.

"Starsky and Hutch: Snowstorm (#1.4)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [In response to Starsky's badgering him to buy a new car] You just want me to drive around in a striped tomato like you got.
Det. Dave Starsky: [Stunned] My car's a striped what?

"Starsky and Hutch: The Hostages (#1.15)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [after Starsky weaved through traffic, driving the wrong way on a one way street] You didn't see the arrow, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: I didn't even see the Indians.

"Starsky and Hutch: Long Walk Down a Short Dirt Road (#2.23)" (1977)
Barroom Brawler: You lousy cops! What right you got hangin' around Sue Ann?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Mess with the lady again, friend, and you'll find out!
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, that's terrific. You sound just like Dirty Harry.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Dirty who?
Det. Dave Starsky: Harry. Cop up in San Francisco.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh.

"Starsky and Hutch: Targets Without a Badge: Part 2 (#4.19)" (1979)
FBI Agent Smithers: You boys don't seem to understand something. There's a lot of water out there, and it's beginning to lap up around your ears.
Det. Dave Starsky: Funny. I don't feel wet. You?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Dry as a desert.

"Starsky and Hutch: Partners (#3.20)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: Huuutch!

"Starsky and Hutch: Foxy Lady (#3.19)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: [kicks trash can] Ow!
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The garbage can's not your enemy.
Det. Dave Starsky: It is now.

"Starsky and Hutch: Terror on the Docks (#1.12)" (1975)
Ezra Beam: Listen, I laugh all the way to the bank. Demonology and devil worship, man, that's the newest fad. It's legal and tax deductible. These nuts and kooks all want to be sorcerers and pay for the privilege.
Det. Dave Starsky: [to Hutch] I told you we were in the wrong business.

"Starsky and Hutch: Kill Huggy Bear (#1.8)" (1975)
Capt. Harold Dobey: Starsky, don't be cute. If you need help, call for it.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hutch is cute. I'm careful.

"Starsky and Hutch: Pariah (#1.7)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Entering his kitchen, where Starsky is sitting on the counter and eating] That's a great breakfast. Root beer and cold pizza.
Det. Dave Starsky: It's the all-American breakfast. Just for the autopsy record, what's that you mash up in there every morning?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Pouring and sprinkling items into a blender] Goat's milk, a little blackstrap molasses, sea kelp, lecithin, a little desiccated liver; of course, a good sprinkle of it has trace elements and vitamins.
Det. Dave Starsky: Of course.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Y'know, Starsky, you oughta get into something like this. Make a new man outta ya.

"Starsky and Hutch: Black and Blue (#4.9)" (1978)
Detective Joan Meredith: Look, Starsky, I remind you, I did not ask for this assignment.
Det. Dave Starsky: I guess I'm just lucky.
Detective Joan Meredith: It's called quota time.
Det. Dave Starsky: Come again.
Detective Joan Meredith: You read the papers, watch the news, pressure is on the department to hire more minorities, to hire more women. So I'm a veritable find in this one beautiful black person. I fill two quotas.
Det. Dave Starsky: Great, why don't you sit closer to the window so everybody can see you.

"Starsky and Hutch: Death in a Different Place (#3.5)" (1977)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: ...75% of the time we spend together and you're not even a good kisser.
Det. Dave Starsky: How do you know that?

"Starsky and Hutch: Bounty Hunter (#1.22)" (1976)
Eddie Hoyle: Hi, Starchy. Hi, Hup.
Det. Dave Starsky: Now, how many times we got to tell you... I'm Starchy. He's Hup.
Eddie Hoyle: Well, the sun was kinda in my eyes, and you guys look an awful lot alike.

"Starsky and Hutch: The Action (#3.12)" (1978)
Capt. Harold Dobey: [on the $1000 voucher for flash money at the crooked craps game] Here's your voucher for one thousand. Try not to lose it all.
Det. Dave Starsky: Lose it?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Captain, you're looking at a couple of aces in a world full of jokers.