Det. Dave Starsky
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Quotes for
Det. Dave Starsky (Character)
from "Starsky and Hutch" (1975)

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Starsky & Hutch (2004)
Hutch: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we're gonna stick to this?
Starsky: I've always had a thing for blondes.
Hutch: Good, cause I'll take anything.

Starsky: Stop shooting my car.

Starsky: In Bay City, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.

Starsky: [in a deep Brooklyn-ish accent to prepare for a disguise] Hey, do me a favor, tip your hat forward. Just tilt it forward. C'mon.
Hutch: No, I like it where it is.
Starsky: No, seriously, come on, do it. Do it.
Hutch: Will you... will you stop with that. That voice makes you sound crazy.
Starsky: It does not make me sound crazy, it makes me sound like "Maury Finkle, founder of Finkle Fixtures, Biggest Lighting Fixture Chain in the Southland."
Hutch: Ohhhh, it's a little voice and a character. You got a whole back story. That's good.
Starsky: Yeah, little touches, ya know, little touches, little details. Ya wanna make the character full, real.

Starsky: Do it.

Starsky: Like you said, Feldman: Everybody deserves a second chance.
[Starsky fires at the front trunk of a Volkswagen]
Hutch: Whoa, what have we here? Does this look familiar? Some cocaine. Captain Doby, I suggest you take this to the lab and have it analyzed this time...
Starsky: [Reese grabs Hutch; puts a gun to Hutch's neck] Hutch!
Reese Feldman: Alright, freeze! Alright, everybody freeze! Put your hands where I can see them! Do it now!
Kevin: Put it down!
Captain Doby: You relax pal. Relax!
Kevin: Let's do it!
Reese Feldman: Put that gun down or I'm gonna kill your friend right here. Do it now!
Kevin: What the hell are we doing?
Reese Feldman: Do it now! Put it down!

Starsky: [Heather takes off her top and bottoms] So, did you uh... When did he... Did he... What... So Hutch do you got any more questions?
Hutch: Yeah, well, uh sure. We could... What's your sign?
Heather: Gemini.
Starsky: What uh... What do you weigh?
Heather: What does that have to do with anything?
Starsky: It has everything to do with anything and just answer the question please, ma'am.
Heather: Around 115 I guess, give or take. I wish I could be more helpful.
Hutch: Stop. Don't do that. You've been great. It's been terrific.
Heather: Anything else?
Starsky: I'm good.
Hutch: Yeah.
Starsky: Yeah.
Hutch: Thank you so much.

Hutch: [waiting outside Huggy's club] What, you've never run an errand on the clock before?
Starsky: No, I happen to take care of my personal business after work. When the taxpayers aren't paying me to protect them.
Hutch: Give me a break. You've never stopped and bought yourself a cup of coffee?
Starsky: I bring a thermos.

Huggy Bear: Hutch, you'll have the usual?
Hutch: You know it and make it a double.
Huggy Bear: Leon, get my a man a jack and tab. And double that.
Leon: You got it boss.
Starsky: Hey, I'll get a seltzer with a little lime if you got it.
Huggy Bear: I don't got it.
Starsky: Or not. That's cool. I'm good.

Hutch: [after seeing the Grand Torino] Whoa! Your stock just went up in my book, my friend. Pop the hood, let me see what you got under...
Starsky: Hey! Hotshot! What do you think you're doing? This is a Ford Grand Torino. It's not some crappy camper slash apartment. There are rules.
Hutch: Okay, okay.
Starsky: You do not bang on the hood. You never under any circumstances drive. And you will certainly not put your coffee mug on the roof of the car. In fact, no coffee in the car whatsoever. Coffee goes on the ground, you get in the car, we go.

Hutch: You gotta be kidding me. No way!
Starsky: What?
Hutch: A floater. Nothing harder to solve than a floater. No prints, body's usually bloated, it's next to impossible. All right, I say we push it out and hope the current pushes it down to the next precinct.
[Hutch tries to push the body away with a stick]
Starsky: Whoa, what are you doing?
Hutch: Trust me, you're gonna thank me for this one.
Starsky: Hey, seriously stop it.
Hutch: The key is not to pop it. You gotta be very ginger.
Starsky: Hey!
[Starsky points a gun at Hutch]
Hutch: What are you doing?
Starsky: I said drop the stick.
Hutch: You're gonna point a gun at me? Okay, fine, have it your way. If it's so important knock yourself out. What are you gonna solve anyway?
Starsky: A murder. I'm gonna solve a murder.

Hutch: Look at all these cops. You really want to eat here?
Starsky: It's a great place. Pop's? Come on. If you're one of the cops you eat at Pop's.

Hutch: What do you hear on the street these days, Huggy?
Huggy Bear: Dig this. A little bird tells me there's gonna be a big coke deal in Bay City. One for the Guinness books. So they say.
Starsky: Interesting. Who would this little bird be?
Huggy Bear: Look man. I lay it out for y'all to play it out.
Starsky: All right. What does that mean?
Hutch: Don't worry about it.

Big Earl: [Starsky tries to bribe Big Earl] I'll tell you what, I do like your blonde friend here. Let me see your belly button.
Hutch: No. Let's go.
[hangs up the phone]
Starsky: Hold on a second. The guy's obviously a freak. Just show him a little skin. Show him your stomach. Nobody's here.
Big Earl: Are we cool?
Starsky: Yes, we're cool.
Big Earl: [Hutch shows his stomach] Oh, eureka. God, that's nice. It's like a little bowl of oatmeal with a hole in it. I got one too. I just got a little more brown sugar on mine.

Starsky: Hey, Hutch, I beat that guy. What was that about?
Hutch: Sure you did. You won.
Starsky: You saw.
Hutch: You won. You danced your heart out.
Starsky: And everybody saw it.
Hutch: Shhh. Go to sleep.
Starsky: I was robbed.
Hutch: I know. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, tiny dancer.

Starsky: [kid throws a knife and hits Starsky] Ow! Oh, mama! What is your problem?

Chau: [after the bullet falls back into the gun] Wait! There's really a bullet in the gun!
Starsky: [shouts] Yes? I know... That is the point of?Russian Roulette!

Waitress: Hi, can I get you two a drink?
Starsky: You sure can sweetheart. Johnnie Red neat, ok, do it, Do It.
Waitress: Alright, and you?
Hutch: Do it, Bacardi and cola, do it, do it.
Waitress: Ok? I'll be right back.
Starsky: What are you doing?
Hutch: What?
Starsky: What was that? You just stole my voice.
Hutch: No, I didn't.
Starsky: Yes, you did. You got to come up with your own voice, ok, that's my thing.
Hutch: What am I supposed to do? I don't have a great cool little voice like you do.
Starsky: You come up with your own character. That's why you're the Texas oil tycoon guy...

Huggy Bear: I am an urban informer. I am not a snitch.
Starsky: Come on Huggy, what's the difference?
Huggy Bear: A snitch wears a wire. A snitch is the scum of the information industry.

Kevin: Tonight's second winner: Number 1-1-7.
Monix: Right on! Yeah!
Hutch: Yee-ha! Whoo! Yes! Thank you very much.
Starsky: Sit now. Do it.
[Huffs]
Starsky: Do it!
Hutch: The big man has just hit the mother lode! Old Shakes McGinty did it! Yes! Unbelievable!
Starsky: [as Finkle] This is incredible.
Hutch: I'm a rich man, and I'm gonna kiss you!

Starsky: Seriously, do it. Do it. Do it.
Reese Feldman: Listen, jackass. You either give me a ticket, or get the hell off this stage, you dig that?
[Starsky point his gun to Reese]
Reese Feldman: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.
Starsky: Pop the trunk, Candyman.
Hutch: You heard him. Pop it!
Captain Doby: What the hell are you two doing?
Starsky: Pop IT!

Starsky: A little word of advice: next time you're watching a place, don't claim that you own it just because you're watching it, OK? I house sit for my sister all the time; it's not like I claim that I own her house, ya know what I mean?

David Starsky: I like your Lincoln.
Huggy Bear: It's a '76. Won't be out 'til next year. But I know some people that know some people that robbed some people.

Hutch: [pointing at Starsky] I like your style.
David Starsky: [pointing at Hutch] I like your moves.

Starsky: Wrong answer, Big Earl.
Bartender: Big Earl? I'm not Big Earl, I'm Jeff.
Hutch: Yeah, sure, no-one's who they say they are.
Bartender: Seriously. Think about it, I'm not even big.
Hutch: Yeah, he's got a point.
Starsky: Maybe it's one of those ironic names like Tiny over in vice. He's like eight feet tall and everyone calls him Tiny.
Hutch: Except this guy's kind of normal size, he'd have to be a lot smaller for a name like Big Earl to be ironic.
Starsky: You don't have to be a midget, how tall are you?
Bartender: I don't know, 5'9"?
Starsky: Well that is kind of?
Hutch: It's borderline, it's average.

Starsky: That's me in the leather jacket and tight jeans.

Starsky: Come on cap, don't drag Hutch into this. I shot the pony.

Hutch: Willis, I'd like you to meet my new partner, David Starsky.
Starsky: Hi Willis.
Willis: [to Hutch] Is this the dickweed you were telling me about?
Hutch: Just shake his hand.

Hutch: Hey Reese, this is a nice boat, is it yours?
Reese Feldman: Actually, that's a yacht.
Hutch: Oh, I'm sorry, a yacht.
Starsky: Hutch, can we please focus on the investigation?

Hutch: [Reading Starsky's report on him] "cavorting with nefarious characters". "conduct unbecoming an officer".
Starsky: Come on. I wrote that thing two weeks ago, things are totally cool with us now.
Hutch: Did you go through my locker?
Starsky: No.
Hutch: You went through my locker.
Starsky: I mean, I may have looked through it while it was open but...
Hutch: If you've got a problem with someone you tell it to their face, you come to them as a man. You don't go behind their back, write a thesis and try to get transferred to another precinct.

David Starsky: [afteraccidentally shooting a horse] Hey there little fella. You okay?

Starsky: This is a bad man. And this is what bad men do.
Elizabeth: A pony?
Reese Feldman: Happy bat Mitzvah baby, I love you.
Starsky: Hey there, little fella. You OK?

Captain Doby: I believe you two know each other?
Starsky: Yeah, a little bit.
Hutch: How you doing?
Starsky: All right.

Starsky: It's 10 o'clock, you're late; I've been here since 8.
Hutch: 8 o'clock? I didn't even know this place opened at 8.
Starsky: Well, don't sweat it, 'cause ya know what? Crime called in sick, it's gonna get a late start too.
Hutch: Crime called in sick, I like that...

Starsky: Biker bar, huh? What goes on down there?
Huggy Bear: I don't know. Listen to Jim Croce, play darts... whatever the hell else you white people do.

[Starsky and Hutch are in the Captain's office]
Captain Doby: You've robbed 7 bookies over the past 6 months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money; you haven't even arrested anybody.
Hutch: How can I arrest them? They'll know I'm a cop.
Starsky: Oh, I wouldn't worry. I don't think you're in any danger for being mistaken for a real cop.
Hutch: Oh really? Hey, why don't you do me a favor and go get yourself another perm and let the grown-ups talk.
Starsky: For your information, my hair is naturally curly.
Hutch: No it's not.
Starsky: Yes it is.
Hutch: That's a perm job all the way.
Starsky: TOUCH IT.
[Hutch touches Starsky's hair]
Captain Doby: Hey. Why are you touching him? Jesus. You know something? You two deserve each other. Make nice. You two are partners.

Starsky: Make him stop. Make him stop. Tell him to stop. Stop it.
Chau: [in Korean] Throw more knives... ALL THE TIME.
Toby: [in Korean] Yes father, I shall throw many.

Starsky: I am not my MOTHER.

Starsky: It was my mother she always used to say it was too much car for me to handle. I couldn't handle the V8.

Starsky: Hutch, let's roll.
Original Hutch: [to Hutch] I think he means you.

[last lines]
David Starsky: I'm just gonna take it slow for a while, get the feel of it.
Ken Hutchinson: No, no, that's smart. Do that.
[Starsky accelerates]
Ken Hutchinson: Starsky.
David Starsky: Hang on.
Ken Hutchinson: No. No.
David Starsky: Hang on. Woo.

Starsky: [shouting] I said, "Freeze."

Manetti: Well, if it isn't Sonny & Cher.
Starsky: Sit on it, Manetti.

Hutch: Are you crying?
Starsky: Hmm?
Hutch: Are you crying?
Starsky: [hesitating] Am I crying? I'm not crying. *You* are.
Hutch: It's okay to cry. People cry.
Starsky: [still hesitating] Well, I'm not like many people. I'm not a crier, I don't cry, I work out. I have a job, I have hobbies...

Starsky: [Feldman has a gun pointed at Hutch] Your nuts are mine Feldman, your nuts are mine.
Hutch: No they're not.
[to Feldman]
Hutch: Your nuts are yours, your nuts are yours.

Starsky: Body of a caucasian male, apparently jumped from the Bay Street Bridge...
Hutch: Well, actually there's no sign of impact so he was probably just dumped out at sea.
Starsky: Would you please not talk while I'm recording?

Hutch: [at 1:11:23] Are you crying?
Starsky: What's that?
Starsky: No. I'm not crying. You're crying.
Hutch: It's okay to cry. People cry.
Starsky: That's great, but I'm not crying. I'm not a cryer. I don't cry. You know, I work out. I have hobbies.
Hutch: Come here.
Starsky: What?
Hutch: Come here. I forgive you, all right?
Starsky: Okay.
Hutch: Okay, that's probably enought.
Starsky: That's enough.
Hutch: All right?
Starsky: Okay.
Hutch: Are we good?
Starsky: Yeah, we're good.
Hutch: Because we got some people that want us dead.
Hutch: They took a shot at you. They tried to blow up my house, almost killed little Willis. We gotta do... Now what?
Starsky: Nothing. I'm just excited. Let's get these scumbags!


"Starsky and Hutch: Targets Without a Badge: Part 2 (#4.19)" (1979)
FBI Agent Smithers: You boys don't seem to understand something. There's a lot of water out there, and it's beginning to lap up around your ears.
Det. Dave Starsky: Funny. I don't feel wet. You?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Dry as a desert.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You're newly assigned here, aren't you? Well, you see, my partner and I have been in this precinct for six years.
Det. Dave Starsky: Seven.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Seven years. And we...
Policewoman: And now you're not and I am. Was anything else missing?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. How about a great big chunk of my will to live.

Det. Dave Starsky: Hey.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah?
Det. Dave Starsky: We either try to find out who these guys are, or we try to lose them.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Beats the hell outta me.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hang on.
[Starsky guns the engine]
Det. Dave Starsky: Put on the red light.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: What red light?

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Nice little car, huh? I call her Belle.
Det. Dave Starsky: Let's go. We're late.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Wait a sec, wait a sec. You didn't tell me what you think.
Det. Dave Starsky: I don't know. I can't tell you.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: What's that supposed to mean?
Det. Dave Starsky: It means I'm embarrassed.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Embarrassed about what?
Det. Dave Starsky: A grown man doesn't drive a car like that. Not a grown man

FBI Agent Waldheim: Thomas May is a gentleman who we know all about.
Det. Dave Starsky: Whom. Whom we know all about.
FBI Agent Smithers: Now, you boys are beginning to try my patience.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Really? Try mine!


"Starsky and Hutch: Little Girl Lost (#2.13)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Nope.
Det. Dave Starsky: Come on, you can tell me. It's only a couple of days before Christmas.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: There's nothing to tell, Starsk. Nothing to tell.
Det. Dave Starsky: You really want me to believe you got me nothing for Christmas?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I didn't. Hey, look, it's nothing personal. It's just that this year for the first time, I decided I was not gonna get caught up in that phony wave of euphoric sentimentalism orchestrated by the clanging of cash registers.
Det. Dave Starsky: Euphoric sentimentalism?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: That's right. It's the principle of the thing. You know, I get so sick and tired of people walking up to me, people I don't even know and wishing me a Merry Christmas. Don't you?
Det. Dave Starsky: No.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Well, they don't mean it. I mean, 51 weeks out of the year, they'd rather take your head off or run you down with their cars and then suddenly one week before Christmas everybody gets caught up in that phony wave of...
Det. Dave Starsky: Euphoric sentimentalism.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: That's right. Well, not this kid. No, sir, not me. I'm not gonna be any pinup boy for the Better Business Bureau.
Det. Dave Starsky: A sweater! You got me a sweater. The one I saw...
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Starsky, I did not get you a sweater.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: All right, what's your name?
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, you play ball? Me too.
Molly Edwards: Now, what's that? Your Barnaby Jones act? Don't try to con me, turkey.

Det. Dave Starsky: What did you get on Molly's father?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Nicholas Alan Edwards. Small-time muscle, got 3 years for knocking off a jewelry salesman. $125,000 worth of single diamonds and they were never recovered.
Det. Dave Starsky: You call that small-time?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Well, there were two other guys in on the robbery. And they were never caught.
Det. Dave Starsky: Same two guys tearing his room apart yesterday. If they were Molly's dad's partners, she might be able to identify them.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Did you ever think about going into police work as a career?

Molly Edwards: Old lady Perkowitz ain't havin' much luck farmin' me out.
Det. Dave Starsky: "Old lady Perkowitz" is trying to find the people who used to be your foster parents.
Molly Edwards: The Williams?
Det. Dave Starsky: Uh-huh.
Molly Edwards: I think she's wasting her time.
Det. Dave Starsky: Why is that?
Molly Edwards: After they lost me, they probably went back to their old line of business.
Det. Dave Starsky: Which was...
Molly Edwards: Running a concentration camp.
Det. Dave Starsky: Couldn't have been as bad as all that.
Molly Edwards: [after a pause] Y'know, my dad was a good guy.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah.
[to Officer Perkowitz]
Det. Dave Starsky: . Get 'em?
Officer Perkowitz: They're not at home.
Molly Edwards: Juvey, huh?
Officer Perkowitz: No, Molly. I'm afraid it's too late to get you booked into juvey tonight. Officer Hutchinson has agreed to let you stay at his place.
Molly Edwards: Yeah?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: C'mon Molly, er, Pete.
Molly Edwards: Ok.
Det. Dave Starsky: See ya, tiger.
Molly Edwards: Yeah.
Det. Dave Starsky: That's what I like. A man who's able to resist the euphoric sentimentalism of the season.
[to Officer Perkowitz]
Det. Dave Starsky: . Ok, Perkowitz. Let's say we go bah a few humbugs together.

Det. Dave Starsky: [indicating Molly] What's wrong with her?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh, Perkowitz called about a half an hour ago.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh? What'd she want?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Said she was wrong about the Williams being gone for the holidays. They're coming back this afternoon. We're going to have to take her over there.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh. That's too bad. I thought we could have a party tomorrow morning. Open up presents, y'know?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [smiles]
Det. Dave Starsky: Got a partial make on her father. Ex-con, out 2 months, spent most of his time in skid row bars... the usual - nobody knows anything.
[Eats some Granola]
Det. Dave Starsky: You didn't make her eat any of this stuff?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [stares at Starsky]
Det. Dave Starsky: You're heartless. Does she know anything?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [shakes his head]
Det. Dave Starsky: You sure? Look, maybe she doesn't want to go to see her foster parents. But it's a damn sight better than juvey.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: We'll stop by the hotel and pick up her things, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, ah, you haven't got any salami or somethin'?


"Starsky and Hutch: I Love You, Rosey Malone (#3.3)" (1977)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Did you find out anything?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. I found out that I'm capable of being a two-faced, loving, lying hypocrite!
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Join the human race.

Capt. Harold Dobey: Starsky, you ever hear of something called "tact"?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. Something like being dishonest, isn't it?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: That's good.

Det. Dave Starsky: [Starsky pulls up while he & Hutch are jogging] Hey.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh c'mon Starsk. We only got five more miles to go and we can call it a morning.
Det. Dave Starsky: Five more miles and you can call an ambulance.

Capt. Harold Dobey: [handing Starsky a photograph] Starsky, do you know this young lady?
Det. Dave Starsky: No.
Ed Chambers: What were you doing with her?
Det. Dave Starsky: I was trying to GET to know her. You lawyers do understand that kind of thing, don't you? Male, female? The birds & the bees?

Det. Dave Starsky: What's the set up?
Ed Chambers: Clean & simple. We need evidence. Now, we know that Malone's channelling his money through the Mexican banks.
Bill Goodson: Malone knows we're on him. He's careful, he's cagey. His daughter thinks he's clean.
[to Chambers]
Bill Goodson: I think it's the right idea; she might go for blonds. Hutchinson...
Det. Dave Starsky: She's mine.
Bill Goodson: Well you struck out, Starksy.
Det. Dave Starsky: Star-sky. The "s" comes before the "k", Goodman.
Bill Goodson: Goodson.
Det. Dave Starsky: Right.


"Starsky and Hutch: Pilot (#1.0)" (1975)
Det. Dave Starsky: You still seeing whatshername?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Sure. Still seeing whatshername. Took her to the whatchamacallit. Gave her my thingamajig.
Det. Dave Starsky: I didn't know it was that serious.

Det. Dave Starsky: Okay, Rollie, who was supposed to kill me?
Fat Rolly: I don't know, Starsk. On my mother's life I don't know.
Det. Dave Starsky: You don't have a mother. You were found in a garbage can behind Weight Watchers.

Det. Dave Starsky: Who are we supposed to report this too? I mean, who in the Hell are we supposed to trust?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The same people we always trust. Us.

Det. Dave Starsky: Does your mommy know you use language like this?

Det. Dave Starsky: Everybody says the same thing, these two guys could never miss. I say they never miss unless they're told to.


"Starsky and Hutch: Ninety Pounds of Trouble (#4.16)" (1979)
Det. Dave Starsky: Now, I just happen to have two tickets for the Springsteen concert on Friday night. And if you're a good little girl, I'll even let you drive.
Joey Carston: Mmm. Isn't Hutch coming?
Det. Dave Starsky: Hutch? Hey, two is company; three is a crowd.
Joey Carston: Ohhh. You're planning on making some heavy moves are you, hot lips?
Det. Dave Starsky: [laughing] You oughta be ashamed of yourself. I'm an old guy. I can get sent away for thoughts like that.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Fifteen'll get you twenty.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Y'know Starsky, you oughtn't be so condescending to Joey.
Det. Dave Starsky: Waddya mean?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Well you gotta consider yourself lucky that a girl as nice-looking, as young as she is would even want to be seen with you.
Det. Dave Starsky: You don't understand, do you?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Explain it to me.
Det. Dave Starsky: I'm doing that girl a favour. She's got a crush on me.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Happens to have a crush on you. At your age.
Det. Dave Starsky: What do you mean, "at my age"? I am NOT that old!

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Hey, where'd you guys come from?
Det. Dave Starsky: Joey had the whole thing wired. You owe her a great big thanks. I owe her an apology...
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Hey. Joey. Come here.
[Hutch hugs Joey]
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Thank you.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, be careful. That's my girl you got there.

Det. Dave Starsky: What happened to you? I was worried about you.
Sidney 'Sid' Archer: Oh, I needed a little fresh air - and time to do some thinking.
Det. Dave Starsky: About what?
Sidney 'Sid' Archer: What a really lousy world we live in.
[Starsky smiles nervously]
Sidney 'Sid' Archer: Do you want to get a room?


"Starsky and Hutch: Starsky vs. Hutch (#4.21)" (1979)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I've never seen this side of you before.
Det. Dave Starsky: The efficient cop?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: No. Stuffed shirt.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Hey, pal?
Det. Dave Starsky: [to Huggy Bear] He talkin' to me?
Huggy Bear: [to Hutch] Are you talkin' to him?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [to Huggy Bear] Tell him I'm talkin' to him.
Huggy Bear: [to Starsky] He's talkin' to you.
Det. Dave Starsky: I heard.

Det. Dave Starsky: We're supposed to be covering this dancehall where this guy's wiping out these dancehall girls.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Right.
Det. Dave Starsky: Well you're not letting him get close enough to the undercover agent who could be our number one pigeon.
Det. Dave Starsky, Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh that's what this is about?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. He's still on the loose. You're playing on the killer's time.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I'm not playing on any killer's time, I was over at Kira's house last night with my eyes wide open on the job.
Det. Dave Starsky: You're not supposed to be over at Kira's apartment.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh I see. That's what this is all about. You go out with a girl for a week, you think you own her, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: One month. But that's not the point. But now that you brought it up, you're supposed to be over at Susan's house.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh.
Det. Dave Starsky: We had a pre-arranged agreement which you arbitrarily ignored and that is just not professional.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Don't talk to me about unprofessional. Don't give me that jive. You can't stand a little competition!
Det. Dave Starsky: Competition? I welcome the competition. Under normal circumstances I wipe the floor with you!

Det. Dave Starsky: We're tired of being treated like objects. Having our lives determined for us by women.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Loved for our bodies and not for our minds. After all, you prick us, doth we not bleed?
Det. Dave Starsky: That's my line.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [to Huggy Bear] Tell him I'm sorry.
Huggy Bear: [to Starsky] He's sorry.
Det. Dave Starsky: I heard.


"Starsky and Hutch: Starsky's Brother (#4.12)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: Nick, I'd like you to meet Captain Dobey, he's my acting superior and chief misery.
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: [shaking Dobey's hand] It's a pleasure, sir.
Capt. Harold Dobey: I'm his superior.
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: Actually, I feel like I already know you, considering all the wonderful things Davey's just told me about you.
Capt. Harold Dobey: He did?
Det. Dave Starsky: I did.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: He did?

Det. Dave Starsky: Look, here's the key to the house. Make yourself at home, take a shower, unpack your bags. There's beer in the icebox.
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: Hey.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hmm?
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: Any women there?
Det. Dave Starsky: In the icebox?

Det. Dave Starsky: I think I did pretty good tonight.
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: If you did so good, where are the girls?
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh. Well, they're not here.

Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: Hey, y'know, to tell you the truth, I didn't think you still had it in you.
Det. Dave Starsky: What, just 'cos I'm a few years older than you?
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: It has nothin' to do with the age, it has to do with the work.
Det. Dave Starsky: What, you don't work?
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: Sure, I work. But not like you. Not runnin' around, chasin' people. You're fightin' with people, you're even gettin' shot at once in a while. I tell ya, a life like that could age a person way beyond his years.
Det. Dave Starsky: No, no, no, no. It works just the opposite. Makes me even stronger.
Nicholas 'Nick' Marvin Starsky: And broke, right?
Det. Dave Starsky: That too.


"Starsky and Hutch: Death Ride (#1.3)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You're worried.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Relax.
Det. Dave Starsky: I'd rather worry.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Me, too. So, who do we trust, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: Like always, me and thee.

Det. Dave Starsky: [after Hutch trades Starky's $360 watch for a cab, then trades the cab for a van] So who drives?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: It's your watch.

Det. Dave Starsky: [about the gunmen] What're they doing?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh, talking.
Det. Dave Starsky: What about?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The weather.

Det. Dave Starsky: You sold me a HOT $360 watch?
Huggy Bear: It was cold when I touched it.


"Starsky and Hutch: Partners (#3.20)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: Huuutch!

Det. Dave Starsky: Zebra Three. That's what Headquarters used to call us. It was our code name.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Code name, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Sounds like something out of a B movie. You trying to tell me I was some kind of a spy?
Det. Dave Starsky: Not a spy, a cop.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh please, anything but a cop.
Det. Dave Starsky: What's wrong with being a cop?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh nothing. If you're into that kind of a macho power trip.

Marsha Henry: Good morning! How are we today?
Det. Dave Starsky: We are weird. And getting weirder by the minute.


"Starsky and Hutch: A Coffin for Starsky (#1.21)" (1976)
Det. Dave Starsky: You know, if this was a cowboy movie, I'd give you my boots.
[Starsky and Hutch hold hands]
Det. Dave Starsky: You're my pal, Hutch.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Thanks buddy... but what'd you have to do that for? He was the only guy that knew.
Det. Dave Starsky: [hardly breathing] Seemed to be a good idea at the time.

Det. Dave Starsky: Find my pants.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I've got your watch.
Det. Dave Starsky: You forgot my pants?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Uh...
Det. Dave Starsky: You mean you want me to hit the streets with no pants, no badge, no gun, no dignity? What's the matter with you?
[to doctor]
Det. Dave Starsky: Do you believe him?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You know, you're right, Starsk, I should have left you lying on the floor while I decided which pair of your equally crummy blue jeans I should pack.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Fix (#1.5)" (1975)
Capt. Harold Dobey: [sees Starsky walking past his office with a candy bar in his mouth] Starsky!
Det. Dave Starsky: [muffled from the candy bar] Mornin', Cap'n.
Capt. Harold Dobey: [angrily] *Get in here!* It's the middle of the afternoon! Where's that partner of yours?
Det. Dave Starsky: It's his day off, Captain.
Capt. Harold Dobey: His day off ended this morning. Now suppose you stop covering for him, get your tail on the horn, and tell him I said get his rear end in here!
Det. Dave Starsky: The truth is, Captain, he's sick.
Capt. Harold Dobey: He ain't called in sick!
Det. Dave Starsky: Well, you know how it is, he's in love.
Capt. Harold Dobey: What you mean is he's shacked up.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah, well, uh... she *is* a pretty girl, Captain.
Capt. Harold Dobey: [completely uncharmed] You tell him I want him in here in one hour, and ready for duty. You tell him that.
Det. Dave Starsky: There's only one problem, Captain.
Capt. Harold Dobey: What's that?
Det. Dave Starsky: I don't know where he is to tell him that.

Officer Bernie Glassman: [Bernie and Starsky have found Hutch and have discovered he's addicted to heroin] I've got to make a report!
Det. Dave Starsky: No! No report. This didn't happen, Bernie. Understand? This didn't happen.

Det. Dave Starsky: [Starsky has just found Hutch's gun in his apartment and knows something has happened to him] I'm telling you, he's gone!
Capt. Harold Dobey: No he isn't. He's out on a date with a beautiful girl, to use your words.
Det. Dave Starsky: [frustrated] Captain, you don't understand!
Capt. Harold Dobey: What do you mean, I don't understand?
Det. Dave Starsky: I found his gun back in his apartment.
Capt. Harold Dobey: [skeptical] Do you take that gun out with you when you go on a date?
Det. Dave Starsky: [angrily] Hutch wouldn't visit his *mother* without a gun!
Capt. Harold Dobey: [firmly] All right, Starsky settle down!
[Starsky calms down]
Capt. Harold Dobey: What do you think happened to him?
Det. Dave Starsky: [crossly] I don't know.
Capt. Harold Dobey: Well, you know about that girl.
Det. Dave Starsky: I know her name, I know where she lives...
Capt. Harold Dobey: And?
Det. Dave Starsky: I can't find her, either.
Capt. Harold Dobey: What do you want to do about it?
Det. Dave Starsky: Missing Persons?
Capt. Harold Dobey: That's a 'missing officer.'
Det. Dave Starsky: No, I mean 'missing partner.'


"Starsky and Hutch: Blindfold (#4.3)" (1978)
Emily Harrison: I'm waiting for someone.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh? Male or female?
Emily Harrison: Look mister, I don't feel comfortable talking to strangers.
Det. Dave Starsky: Me neither. Why don't we introduce ourselves? My name's Dave.
Emily Harrison: I'm sorry, but I would...
Det. Dave Starsky: [jumping right in] Oh me too. I would have preferred something a little sexier, like ah, Rudy, or Marcelo. But, ah, waddya gonna do?

Emily Harrison: You are really weird, you know that?
Det. Dave Starsky: Well, all the normal people are working now. God bless us weirdos, huh?

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Every snitch on your circuit is asking me about the blind girl and the cop. It sounds like a silly soap opera.
Det. Dave Starsky: Knock it off, will ya?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: "In the line of duty", officer. That does not mean you have to devote your whole life to her.
Det. Dave Starsky: See you around.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh, come on, Starsky. Don't do this to yourself. I love ya, I understand what you're going through, I love your caring but man, I just think it's a bum rap to wash your life down the drain on a guilt trip.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Psychic (#2.15)" (1977)
[first lines]
Starsky: Where's he going?
Hutch: If you ever catch him you can ask him.
Starsky: If I ever catch him I won't have to ask him.

[last lines]
Starsky: Well, Huggy, as a psychic I'd say you have a few more lessons to go.
Huggy Bear: What do you mean?
Starsky: I'm pickles. He's onions.

Starsky: I thought you were dead.
Hutch: Bullet-proof vest, remember?
Starsky: I forgot.


"Starsky and Hutch: Gillian (#2.5)" (1976)
Det. Dave Starsky: Never did see them. Did you? I thought you got hit back there. What happened? You're shaking.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I'm scared, Starsk. I'm scared.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. Me too. Every time I pull this thing.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: No, that's not what I'm talking about. I froze. For the first time I got to thinking I could have gotten you killed.
Det. Dave Starsky: No way. You see the way they took off.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah, but if they hadn't! I didn't move up the way you did. I didn't cover you. I didn't work the way we work.
Det. Dave Starsky: Forget it! Your mind was elsewhere. Come on.

Det. Dave Starsky: Come on. What are you gonna do? Do you wanna hit me again, huh? Is that what you want? She was a prostitute. And there's nothing you can do or say that's gonna change that fact or the fact that she loved you and she was about to give all this up just for you. That's probably why Grossman killed her... Hey, how many years have we known each other, huh? You're the best friend I got in the whole world. You think I like saying things like this to you?
[Hutch breaks down and they wrap their arms around each other]
Det. Dave Starsky: It's okay now. It's gonna be okay. Get it out partner. We got some work to do.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Avenger (#4.7)" (1978)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Knife wounds are on the left side, which means the attacker's right handed. Angle of entry's pretty well straight on. Now, if the victim was smaller than the assailant, the knife wounds would be on a downward angle.
Det. Dave Starsky: Let's hear it for Sherlock Holmes.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Lead on, Watson.

Det. Dave Starsky: It's getting warm in here. Maybe it's the tea. Think I'll take my jacket off.
Monique: You sleep with that on?
[indicating Starsky's gun holster]
Det. Dave Starsky: Not always. I guess if Harry's playing peek-a-boo at the window, I'd better be out of uniform.


"Starsky and Hutch: Black and Blue (#4.9)" (1978)
Detective Joan Meredith: Look, Starsky, I remind you, I did not ask for this assignment.
Det. Dave Starsky: I guess I'm just lucky.
Detective Joan Meredith: It's called quota time.
Det. Dave Starsky: Come again.
Detective Joan Meredith: You read the papers, watch the news, pressure is on the department to hire more minorities, to hire more women. So I'm a veritable find in this one beautiful black person. I fill two quotas.
Det. Dave Starsky: Great, why don't you sit closer to the window so everybody can see you.

Mrs. Greene: [handing Starsky a styrofoam cup] Here. Drink.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh, good. I could use some coffee.
Mrs. Greene: What are you talking, coffee? It's bad for the bones. Soup!
Det. Dave Starsky: Look, are you married?
Mrs. Greene: Is that a proposal?
Det. Dave Starsky: Well, I don't make much money and I keep irregular hours, but...
Mrs. Greene: The important thing is are you a good dancer?
Det. Dave Starsky: I think I'm in love.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Game (#4.2)" (1978)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: We start tomorrow morning 8 o'clock, wrap it up Monday morning at 8, ok?
Det. Dave Starsky: I'll have you wrapped up by tomorrow night, chum.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah, well what makes you so sure of yourself, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: I've done my homework. For seven years I know how, when, where you eat, walk, sleep, talk. I know who you know, what you know and how you know it. And there ain't no hiding behind that.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Starsky & Hutch are in Hutch's beaten-up brown Ford. Starsky tosses Hutch's empty soup can into the back seat] Starsky, this is not a garbage dump.
Det. Dave Starsky: You could've fooled me.


"Starsky and Hutch: Cover Girl (#4.11)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: Looks like the guy you hired just accepted the job.

Officer Minnie Kaplan: You going to the post office?
Det. Dave Starsky: You got it.
Officer Minnie Kaplan: Will you buy me a book of stamps?
Det. Dave Starsky: I'll deliver them personally to your door.
Officer Minnie Kaplan: Wouldn't you know it? I gotta work the late shift tonight.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh. Well leave your key under the mat. I'll have a fire going for you.
Officer Minnie Kaplan: Where are you gonna get a fire going? I don't even have a fireplace.
Det. Dave Starsky: [mischievously] Like I said. I'll have a fire going.
Officer Minnie Kaplan: You're a trashy boy, Starksy.


"Starsky and Hutch: Losing Streak (#1.16)" (1976)
Olivia: [Pinching Starsky's cheek] Anyone ever tell you you're as cute as a teddy bear?
Det. Dave Starsky: [to Hutch] I can't help it.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I didn't know Little Orphan Annie was still around.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. She's developin'.


"Starsky and Hutch: Lady Blue (#1.10)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Looking out the window of his home] Hey, Starsk, you see that sunset?
Det. Dave Starsky: [Laying on the couch] Nah, that's okay.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You really oughtta take a look at it.
Det. Dave Starsky: Why? It happens every night.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: It's beautiful! Every color of the spectrum, constantly changing. Blue, gold, red, purple...
Det. Dave Starsky: You been keepin' Reader's Digest in the john again? 'Ways to More Colorful Speech'?

Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, I'm a cop, not a vigilante. And especially because this was Helen, what will go down will be the most professional homicide investigation ever conducted by this department. I'm going to walk that guy into a court, and a judge is going to imprison or institutionalize him for the rest of his life. So help me, God.


"Starsky and Hutch: Starsky and Hutch Are Guilty (#2.25)" (1977)
Captain Ryan: [Discussing Oscar Newton] What do you know about him?
Det. Dave Starsky: He's a junkie. Takes a few tips, turns over a few hot items. Nothin' big. Makes enough to feed his habit, keep off welfare.
Captain Ryan: Real outstanding citizen that you never busted.
Det. Dave Starsky: That's right. If we bust him, what does he get? Thirty to sixty days to dry out? He's worth more to us on the street. He's a good snitch. I know you don't approve, Chief, but that's the way a cop's gotta operate these days.

Capt. Harold Dobey: [Discussing the apparent frame up] You gotta hang in there. These things have a way of working themselves out.
Det. Dave Starsky: Why does that sound like something Nixon might've said to Haldeman and Ehrlichman?


"Starsky and Hutch: Omaha Tiger (#1.18)" (1976)
Huggy Bear: Welcome to Rodent Downs, gentlemen. Just a friendly game of chance amongst friends.
Det. Dave Starsky: Mouse racing?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I don't believe it.
Huggy Bear: Well, you ever try to get ten horses in a basement?

Det. Dave Starsky: [Upon discovering a dead body in a shower stall] Tell me he slipped on a bar of soap.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: He slipped on a bar of soap.
Det. Dave Starsky: I don't believe it.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Neither do I.


"Starsky and Hutch: JoJo (#1.19)" (1976)
Merl the Earl: Say, I know you.
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah, you know my Uncle Al.
Merl the Earl: Right, right. You drive that red tomato with the white stripe.
Det. Dave Starsky: Uh, red Torino.
Merl the Earl: Tomato, tomahto, what's the difference?

Bettin: All right, what the hell are you doing? We have Jojo under surveillance and all of a sudden you pick him up?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Surprised it took you this long to find us.
Bettin: Listen!
Det. Dave Starsky: Ssshhh! Now calm down, will ya? We just decided to take Jojo out for a bite to eat - only he ain't hungry.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah. And after that, us girls are gonna do a little shopping.


"Starsky and Hutch: Shootout (#1.14)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Sure your arm's gonna be all right?
Det. Dave Starsky: Couldn't be better. I told ya, Gene Autry gets it there all the time.

Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You know something? You look terrible.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, don't let me fool you; I played Camille in high school.


"Starsky and Hutch: Long Walk Down a Short Dirt Road (#2.23)" (1977)
Barroom Brawler: You lousy cops! What right you got hangin' around Sue Ann?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Mess with the lady again, friend, and you'll find out!
Det. Dave Starsky: Hey, that's terrific. You sound just like Dirty Harry.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Dirty who?
Det. Dave Starsky: Harry. Cop up in San Francisco.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Oh.


"Starsky and Hutch: A Body Worth Guarding (#3.14)" (1978)
Huggy Bear: You look weird.
Det. Dave Starsky: What do you mean?
Huggy Bear: A little lopsided. I know! A Starsky without a Hutch is like a pig without the pork. How is the Police Department's number one beach boy?
Det. Dave Starsky: Guarding a dancer's body and liking it less than spit.
Huggy Bear: You're crude, do you know that?
Det. Dave Starsky: So I've been told.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Trap (#3.15)" (1978)
Joey Carston: Think we'll get out of this alive?
Det. Dave Starsky: Promise you we will, kid.
Joey Carston: If we do, wanna take me out to a movie, or somethin'?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah. Take you to pizza afterwards.
Joey Carston: You like anchovies?
Det. Dave Starsky: Love 'em.
Joey Carston: You know, I look older with my hair different.
Det. Dave Starsky: I look a lot younger when I have a close shave.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Hey, I don't want to interrupt this budding romance, but we got to deal with some reality here. We got a problem. Bagley's planning a barbecue and we're the main course.


"Starsky and Hutch: Hutchinson for Murder One (#3.18)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: I still think we should have taken my car.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The striped tomato? Driving around in that is about as discreet as riding on a Homecoming float.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Groupie (#4.10)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: Already I feel seasick.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Yeah, well just don't get between me and the wind, huh?


"Starsky and Hutch: Death in a Different Place (#3.5)" (1977)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: ...75% of the time we spend together and you're not even a good kisser.
Det. Dave Starsky: How do you know that?


"Starsky and Hutch: Bounty Hunter (#1.22)" (1976)
Eddie Hoyle: Hi, Starchy. Hi, Hup.
Det. Dave Starsky: Now, how many times we got to tell you... I'm Starchy. He's Hup.
Eddie Hoyle: Well, the sun was kinda in my eyes, and you guys look an awful lot alike.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Action (#3.12)" (1978)
Capt. Harold Dobey: [on the $1000 voucher for flash money at the crooked craps game] Here's your voucher for one thousand. Try not to lose it all.
Det. Dave Starsky: Lose it?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Captain, you're looking at a couple of aces in a world full of jokers.


"Starsky and Hutch: Huggy Can't Go Home (#4.17)" (1979)
Newsboy: Lookee here. Ain't you supposed to be readin' me my rights, or somethin'?
Det. Dave Starsky: You studying to be a lawyer?
Newsboy: No, man, when I grow up, I'm gonna have me a super fine ride and a stable of foxy ladies. Deliverin' papers is a drag, man. Ain't no future in it. You know what I mean?
Det. Dave Starsky: Yeah, I know where you're comin' from. I know where you're headed.
Newsboy: Is that it? Can I split? I was just goin' home.
Det. Dave Starsky: Where to?
Newsboy: Across the way. I'll see you around, mister po-lice man.
Det. Dave Starsky: You keep talking fancy rides and foxy ladies, in a few years you're gonna be seeing a lot of me. You dig it?


"Starsky and Hutch: Terror on the Docks (#1.12)" (1975)
Ezra Beam: Listen, I laugh all the way to the bank. Demonology and devil worship, man, that's the newest fad. It's legal and tax deductible. These nuts and kooks all want to be sorcerers and pay for the privilege.
Det. Dave Starsky: [to Hutch] I told you we were in the wrong business.


"Starsky and Hutch: Moonshine (#4.5)" (1978)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You know, a couple of guys died drinking this moonshine.
Rudy: I heard about that. But it's hard to believe about ol' Cumberland. I been pouring that stuff for years and I ain't had a complaint yet.
[Indicating a very drunk Starsky]
Rudy: Ask your pal over here. He's had enough of it to really know.
Det. Dave Starsky: Man, I have had Kool Aid that is stronger
[promptly falls off his bar stool]
Det. Dave Starsky: .
Rudy: [laughing at Starsky's misfortune] Heh heh heh heh heh!
Det. Dave Starsky: [as Hutch hauls him up off the floor] I'm back!
[Giggling as Hutch struggles to get him seated on the stool again - and probably off script]
Det. Dave Starsky: What's going on back there?


"Starsky and Hutch: Sweet Revenge (#4.22)" (1979)
Det. Dave Starsky: Gentlemen, I'm gonna propose a toast. My toast... to four very, very heavy dudes.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Well, at least three.
Det. Dave Starsky: God bless us all. I'm gonna remember this night for a long time to come.


"Starsky and Hutch: Targets Without a Badge: Part 1 (#4.18)" (1979)
Det. Dave Starsky: Pick a card.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I don't wanna pick a card.
Det. Dave Starsky: There's nothing to see out there but dust. Will you please pick a card.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Starsky, this is a stakeout for dope runners, this is not an amateur hour. Why don't you just read your magazine?
Det. Dave Starsky: I already have, four times. Everything from Babe Ruth to Studio 54.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Well read it again.
Det. Dave Starsky: Will you please pick a card? C'mon.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I feel like I've been trapped for five hours with a dying lounge act.
Det. Dave Starsky: Well, I could put on a skirt.


"Starsky and Hutch: Foxy Lady (#3.19)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: [kicks trash can] Ow!
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: The garbage can's not your enemy.
Det. Dave Starsky: It is now.


"Starsky and Hutch: Silence (#1.17)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: You ever see a fat lion, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: Come to think about it, I've never seen a thin hippopotamus.


"Starsky and Hutch: Kill Huggy Bear (#1.8)" (1975)
Capt. Harold Dobey: Starsky, don't be cute. If you need help, call for it.
Det. Dave Starsky: Hutch is cute. I'm careful.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Golden Angel (#4.13)" (1979)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: So how much was the old buzzard... ah, the old man worth?
Det. Dave Starsky: Ten million dollars.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Ten million dollars, hey? Guess you could say you sorta hit the jackpot, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: I sure did! I mean, one week from today I'm gonna be cruising these streets with a Cartier on my wrist, Maserati under my butt... and leisure on my mind.


"Starsky and Hutch: Snowstorm (#1.4)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [In response to Starsky's badgering him to buy a new car] You just want me to drive around in a striped tomato like you got.
Det. Dave Starsky: [Stunned] My car's a striped what?


"Starsky and Hutch: Vendetta (#2.10)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Look, why don't you get yourself something to eat? I got some great new goodies in the icebox.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh that's a good idea. Thanks. So, what did he look like? Tall? Short? Fat? Skinny? Has he got an M.O?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: I didn't get that close.
Det. Dave Starsky: Oh. Well, maybe next time
[sees the rat in the refrigerator]
Det. Dave Starsky: . Either your eating habits have changed drastically, or you got some very sick people mad at you.


"Starsky and Hutch: Dandruff (#4.8)" (1978)
Det. Dave Starsky: Who's this Baron? What does he look like?
Capt. Harold Dobey: No one knows. No pictures, no prints, no name. Nothin'.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Makes it kind of tough, huh?


"Starsky and Hutch: The Hostages (#1.15)" (1976)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [after Starsky weaved through traffic, driving the wrong way on a one way street] You didn't see the arrow, huh?
Det. Dave Starsky: I didn't even see the Indians.


"Starsky and Hutch: Pariah (#1.7)" (1975)
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Entering his kitchen, where Starsky is sitting on the counter and eating] That's a great breakfast. Root beer and cold pizza.
Det. Dave Starsky: It's the all-American breakfast. Just for the autopsy record, what's that you mash up in there every morning?
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: [Pouring and sprinkling items into a blender] Goat's milk, a little blackstrap molasses, sea kelp, lecithin, a little desiccated liver; of course, a good sprinkle of it has trace elements and vitamins.
Det. Dave Starsky: Of course.
Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson: Y'know, Starsky, you oughta get into something like this. Make a new man outta ya.


"Starsky and Hutch: The Set-Up: Part 2 (#2.17)" (1977)
Det. Dave Starsky: You wouldn't happen to have a corned beef on rye in that bag, would you, Baron?
The Baron: Corned beef on...? No. No. Sorry. However I do have, ah, water, salt, Vitamin C tablets, some beef jerky, freeze-dried tuna casserole with peas and mushrooms, if you wish.