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Quotes for
Polonius (Character)
from Hamlet (1996)

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Hamlet (1996)
Polonius: This above all - to thine own self be true/ And it must follow as the night the day/ Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet: Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in the shape of a camel?
Polonius: By the mass, and 'tis like a camel indeed.
Hamlet: Methinks it's like a weasel.
Polonius: It is backed like a weasel.
Hamlet: Or like a whale.
Polonius: Very like a whale.

Polonius: How dost my good lord Hamlet?
[Turns a corner and is shocked by a mask-wearing Hamlet]
Hamlet: Well. God a' mercy.
Polonius: [Astonished at Hamlet's peculiar behavior] Do you know me my lord?
Hamlet: Excellent well. You are a fishmonger.

Polonius: My lord I will take my leave of you.
Hamlet: You cannot sir, take from me anything I would more willingly part withal. Except my life. Except my life
[grins crazily]
Hamlet: Except my life.
Polonius: Fare you well, my lord.
Hamlet: [to himself, quite sane] These tedious old fools.

Polonius: [Talking aside to himself] Though this be madness, yet there is method in't!

Hamlet (1990)
Polonius: This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Polonius: What do you read, my lord?
Hamlet: [looks down at his book] Words...
[looks at the cover of the book]
Hamlet: words...
[looks up at Polonius]
Hamlet: Words.

Polonius: Ophelia, walk you here.
[to Claudius]
Polonius: Gracious, so please you, we will bestow ourselves.
[to Ophelia, handing her a book of prayers]
Polonius: Read on this book. He is coming. Let us withdraw, my lord.
[Hamlet sees Polonius and Claudius sneaking away to hide and eavesdrop. Ophelia looks up and sees him approaching the staircase down to her; she obediently starts walking back and forth, pretending to study the prayers. Hamlet has a pretty good idea what is going on]
Hamlet: Nymph, in thy orisons be all my sins remembered.
Ophelia: Good my lord, how does your honor for this many a day?
Hamlet: I humbly thank you, well.
[He starts to walk away and she hurries after him]
Ophelia: My lord, I have remembrances of yours that I have longèd long to redeliver. I pray you now receive them.
Hamlet: No, not I. I never gave you aught.
Ophelia: My honored lord, you know right well you did, and with them, words of so sweet breath composed as made the things more rich. Their perfume lost, take these again. There, my lord.
[He takes the necklaces, staring at her, then begins to chuckle]
Hamlet: Ha, ha! Are you honest?
Ophelia: My lord?
Hamlet: Are you fair?
Ophelia: What means your lordship?
Hamlet: That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should admit no discourse to your beauty.
Ophelia: [spiritedly] Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than with honesty?
Hamlet: I did love you once.
Ophelia: Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
Hamlet: [Pretending contempt] You should not have believed me. I loved you not! Where's your father?
[Hiding behind a pillar, watching, Claudius and Polonius jump in fear. Horrified to lie to him, Ophelia gives us the first wild-eyed look of fright that will accompany her when she goes mad]
Ophelia: At home, my lord.
Hamlet: [loudly, for the eavesdroppers] Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the fool nowhere but in his own house. If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry. Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Or if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool, for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. I have heard of your paintings, well enough. God hath given you one face and you make yourselves another. You jig and amble, and you lisp, you nickname God's creatures and make your wantonness your ignorance. Go to, I'll no more on 't.
[He shoves her at the wall and she gasps]
Hamlet: It hath made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriage. Those that are married already, all but one, shall live. The rest shall keep as they are.
[He throws the necklaces at her]

Hamlet (1948)
Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: Do you see yonder cloud that looks like a camel?
Polonius, Lord Chamberlain: By the mass, 'tis like a camel indeed.
Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: Methinks it looks like a weasel.

Polonius, Lord Chamberlain: My lord, put your discourse into some frame and start not so wildly from my affair.
Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: I am tame sir; pronounce.

Hamlet Goes Business (1987)
Polonius: How are you, Hamlet?
Hamlet: Alright, thank God.
Polonius: Do you know me?
Hamlet: Sure, You are the butcher.
Polonius: No, I'm not.
Hamlet: I wish you were.
Polonius: Why?
Hamlet: It would make you more respectable. Only one man in 10,000 is respectable and even he's nothing much to boast about.
Polonius: That's true.
Hamlet: For if the sun breeds maggots in a dead bitch it's worth the carrion to kiss it. You got a daughter?
Polonius: Yes.
Hamlet: Don't let her take too much sun, for it's nobler to give. Tell her about the facts of life or she might burst pregnant.
Polonius: You're talking about my daughter? In my youth I, too suffered much for love. Almost just like you. What are you reading?
Hamlet: Words, words, words.
Polonius: About what?
Hamlet: About it.
Polonius: I mean: what's in the magazine?
Hamlet: Gossip. Even if it was true, it's disgusting to print it because one day you'll be as old as I am, if you go backward like a crab.
Polonius: I see. I must go. Will we meet again?
Hamlet: I can't promise you anything else with as much pleasure, butcher except mu life, except my life, except my life.
Polonius: Mad!

Hamlet (2000)
Polonius: We are oft to blame in this, tis too much proved that with devotions pious we do sugar o'er the devil himself