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[Brent believes anything with the Queen's image should be currency
] David Brent
: In fact, a postage stamp is legal tender. A bus driver would have to accept that as currency. Tim
: Yeah, that'd happen. Gareth
: Well, if he doesn't, report him. Tim
: Yeah, I'll report him while I'm walking home. Gareth
: Get a taxi, if you've got enough stamps. Dawn
: Or cash 'em in at the Post Office. David Brent
: Shouldn't have to. Shouldn't have to.
: He proposed on a Valentine's day, although he didn't do it face to face, he did it in one of the little Valentine bits in the paper. I think he had to pay for it by the word, because it just said 'Lee love Dawn, marriage?' which you know, I like, because it's not often you get to something that's both romantic and thrifty.
[Dawn is introducing consultants to David
: David, this is Ray and Jude from... I'm sorry, I've forgotten where you're from. Ray
: Cooper and Webb. David Brent
: Who's Cooper and who's Webb? Ray
: Neither of us. David Brent
: I bet you get that all the time. Ray
[Brent is reading Dawn his poem, Excalibur
] David Brent
: I froze your tears, and made a dagger / and stabbed it in my cock, forever / it stays there like Excalibur / Are you my Arthur? Say you are. Dawn
: Good... David Brent
: Take this cool dark steeled blade / steal it, sheathe it in your lake / I'd drown with you to be together / Must you breath? 'Cause I need heaven. Dawn
: Ahhhh... it's powerful. David Brent
: Very. And double meanings - did you get the double meanings? Dawn
: I did.
: [Dawn has just returned to the party after opening her gift from Tim, a set of oil paints. She realizes that she and Tim belong together, walks up to him, and kisses him
] Careful, she's got a fiancé. Dawn Tinsley
: [turns to Gareth
] I haven't. Not anymore.
[Tim and Dawn kiss again
: [to Donna and Dawn
] If you do have any trouble from the men, what does she do, Dawn? Dawn
: Kick them in the balls. David Brent
: Oh! Feminist. Gareth
] Get your bra off. David Brent
: [to Gareth, defensively
] Do you want to go out, as well? Gareth
: Sorry, burn your bra. Feminists.
: Tim's advice is that it is better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb then half way up one you don't.
[Dawn and Tim are getting a laugh out of pretending Gareth is gay
: We were wondering if a military man like you, a soldier, er, could you give a man a lethal blow? Gareth
: If I was forced to, I could. If it was absolutely necessary, if he was attacking me. Tim
: What if he was coming, really hard? Gareth
: Yeah, if my life was in danger, yeah. Dawn
: And do you always imagine doing it face to face with a bloke, or could you take a man from behind? Gareth
: Either ways easy. Dawn
: So you could take a man from behind? Gareth
: Yeah. Dawn
: My old school just recently had a school reunion, ehm, which I didn't go to. But, ehm, one girl in my class it turns out, right, that she's now running her own an internet auction website, making a fortune and is happily married to a marine biologist.
] Dawn Tinsley
: She used to eat chalk.
: I'm going to have to let you go first. Dawn
: What? Why? David Brent
: Why? Stealing. Thieving. Dawn
: Thieving? What am I meant to have stolen? David Brent
: Post-It notes.