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: You bet your size 6 ass! Andy Sachs
: [whispers back gleefully
] Size... 4.
[they high-five each other
: So none of the girls here eat anything? Nigel
: Not since two became new four and zero became the new two. Andy Sachs
: Well, I'm a six... Nigel
: Which is the new fourteen.
: No. And I've seen all this before. Jocelyn
: Theyskens is trying to reinvent the drop waist, so actually it's... Miranda Priestly
: Where are all the other dresses? Lucia
: We have some right here. Nigel
: Stand, watch and listen. Jocelyn
: And I think it can be very interesting... Miranda Priestly
: No. No, I just- It's just baffling to me. Why is it so impossible to put together a decent run-through? You people have had hours and hours to prepare. It's just so confusing to me. Where are the advertisers? Jocelyn
: We have some pieces from Banana Republic. Miranda Priestly
: We need more, don't we? Oh. This is- This might be- What do you think of... Nigel
: Yeah. Well, you know me. Give me a full ballerina skirt and a hint of saloon and I'm on board. Miranda Priestly
: But do you think it's too much like... Nigel
: Like the Lacroix from July? I thought that, but no, not with the right accessories. It should work. Miranda Priestly
: Where are the belts for this dre- Why is no one ready? Lucia
: Here. It's a tough call. They're so different.
: I don't know what you expect me to do. There's nothing in this whole closet that'll fit a size six. I can guarantee you. These are all sample sizes- two and four. All right. We're doing this for you. And... Andy Sachs
: A poncho? Nigel
: You'll take what I give you and you'll like it. We're doing this Dolce for you. And shoes. Jimmy Choo's. Manolo Blahnik. Nancy Gonzalez. Love that. Okay, Narciso Rodriguez. This we love. Uh, it might fit. It might. Andy Sachs
: What? Nigel
: Okay. Now, Chanel. You're in desperate need of Chanel. Darling, shall we? We have to get to the beauty department, and God knows how long that's going to take.
: What about Testino? Where are we on that? Nigel
: Zac Posen's doing some very sculptural suits. So I suggested that, uh, Testino shoot them at the Noguchi Garden. Miranda Priestly
: Perfect. Thank God somebody came to work today.
: [Miranda has moved up a meeting
] But we're not expected until Tuesday. Did she say why? Andy Sachs
: Yes. She explained every detail of her decision-making. And then we brushed each others' hair and gabbed about American Idol. Nigel
: I see your point.
: [to Andy, who is buying lunch
] Corn chowder. That's an interesting choice. You do know that cellulite is one of the main ingredients in corn chowder.
: Oh, never mind. I'm sure you have plenty more poly-blend where that came from.
: [to Andy
] Emily? Emily! Nigel
: [to Andy
] She means you.
[at the "Urban Jungle" fashion shoot, talking to Andy
: Don't make me feed you to one of the models.
: [seeing Nigel with a black gown
] I love that! Will that fit me? Nigel
: A little Crisco and some fishing wire and we'll be in business.
: She hates me, Nigel. Nigel
: And that's my problem because... Oh, wait. No, it's not my problem. Andy Sachs
: I don't know what else I can do because if I do something right, it's unacknowledged. She doesn't even say thank you. But if I do something wrong, she is vicious. Nigel
: So quit. Andy Sachs
: What? Nigel
: Quit. Andy Sachs
: Quit? Nigel
: I can get another girl to take your job in five minutes... one who really wants it. Andy Sachs
: No, I don't want to quit. That's not fair. But, I, you know, I'm just saying that I would just like a little credit... for the fact that I'm killing myself trying. Nigel
: Andy, be serious. You are not trying. You are whining. What is it that you want me to say to you, huh? Do you want me to say, "Poor you. Miranda's picking on you. Poor you. Poor Andy"? Hmm? Wake up, six. She's just doing her job. Don't you know that you are working at the place that published some of the greatest artists of the century? Halston, Lagerfeld, de la Renta. And what they did, what they created was greater than art because you live your life in it. Well, not you, obviously, but some people. You think this is just a magazine, hmm? This is not just a magazine. This is a shining beacon of hope for... oh, I don't know... let's say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island with six brothers pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight. You have no idea how many legends have walked these halls. And what's worse, you don't care. Because this place, where so many people would die to work you only deign to work. And you want to know why she doesn't kiss you on the forehead and give you a gold star on your homework at the end of the day. Wake up, sweetheart.
: [talking about Andy
] Who is that *sad* little person? Are we doing a before-and-after piece I don't know about?
: Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. Means it's time for a promotion.
: Come on. Miranda's pushed the run through up a half hour. And she's always 15 minutes early. Andy Sachs
: Which means? Nigel
: You're already late.
: Irv Ravitz. Chairman of Elias Clark. You know what they say. Tiny man. Huge ego.
: Oh my god. No, no, no! Andy Sachs
: What's wrong? Emily
: [on telephone
] She's on her way. Tell everyone. Nigel
: Tsk. She's not supposed to be here until nine. Emily
: Her driver just text messaged and her facialist ruptured a disc. God, these people. Nigel
: [points at Andy and mouths
] Who's that? Emily
: That, I can't even talk about. Nigel
: [opens the door
] Alright everyone, gird your loins!
[as he's leaving
: Did someone eat an onion bagel? Andy Sachs
: [looks slightly embarrased, starts smelling her breath
: There's a scale. One nod is good, two nods is very good. There's only be one actual smile on record and that was Tom Ford in 2001. If she doesn't like it she shakes her head. Then of course there's the pursing of the lips. Andy Sachs
: Which means? Nigel
: [Nigel holds up a pair of fashionable high heels
] I guessed an 8 and a half. Andy Sachs
: I don't need those. Miranda hired me. She knows what I look like. Nigel
: Do you?