Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart
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Quotes for
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart (Character)
from "Doctor Who" (1963)

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"Doctor Who: Battlefield: Part One (#26.1)" (1989)
Brigadier: Oh, dear. Women. Not really my field.
The Doctor: Don't worry, Brigadier. People will be shooting at you soon.

The Doctor: [sees the Brigadier's body] You stupid, stubborn, pigheaded numbskull! You were supposed to die in bed!
Brigadier: Nonsense, Doctor!... Oh, really, Doctor, do you think I'd be so stupid as to stay inside, do you? Have a little faith!
[gets up]

Ancelyn: [to the Doctor] My Lord Merlin.
Brigadier: Merlin?
Ancelyn: He has many names.
Brigadier: He also has many faces.
[seeing Ace]
Brigadier: And he has many companions. This must be the latest one.

Lethbridge-Stewart: What was that?
The Doctor: That Brigadier, was the beginning of the end of the world.
Lethbridge-Stewart: Same as ever, eh, Doctor?

Flight Lieutenant Lavel: [the Brigadier and Lavel have just escaped from a helicopter crash] Sir, we don't know what the situation is here!
Brigadier: The situation, Lavel, is normal, and it doesn't get much worse than that. You know, I'm rather enjoying this.

The Destroyer: Ah... little man. What do you want of me?
Brigadier: Get off my world!
The Destroyer: Pitiful. Can this world do no better than you as their champion?
Brigadier: Probably. I just do the best I can.

Mordred: [to Doctor] Look me in the eye, end my life.
[the Doctor does nothing]
Mordred: Ha! It is a weakness, this lack of spirit!
[the Brigadier points his revolver at Mordred's head]
Brigadier: Try ME.
Morgaine: Ware this man, Mordred, he is steeped in blood.

Brigadier: Ace?
Ace: Yes Brigadier?
Brigadier: I'm getting too old for this sort of thing. He's all yours from now on. I'm going home to Doris.
The Doctor: Doris?
Brigadier: Yes, my wife.
The Doctor: [chuckles] So she caught you in the end?

[the Brigadier knocks out the Doctor]
Brigadier: Sorry, Doctor, but I think I'm rather more expendable than you!

Mordred: My mother will destroy you!
Brigadier: Just between you and me, Mordred, I'm getting a little tired of hearing about your mother.

Morgaine: How goes the day?
Brigadier: I've had better.
Morgaine: I am Morgaine, the sun-killer. Dominator of the thirteen worlds and battle queen of the S'Rax. What say you?
Brigadier: I am Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. Surrender now and we can avoid bloodshed.

"Doctor Who: The Three Doctors: Episode Two (#10.2)" (1973)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Look, just tell me this: Are you or are you not the Doctor that I met during the Yeti business and then later when the Cybermen invaded?
Dr. Who: Of course I am. You can see that.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Right, but then you would subsequently appear on Earth during that trouble with the Autons, only then you'd changed into a tall, thin fellow.
Dr. Who: Had I really? How fascinating.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Doctor, I warn you...
Dr. Who: It's no use your asking me about all this, Brigadier. As far as I'm concerned, it hasn't happened yet. Don't you see? I'm just a temporal anomaly.

Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Now, there's just two things I want from you, Doctor: an effective way of controlling that stuff and the safe return of Miss Grant.
Sergeant Benton: Well, what about OUR Doctor, sir? Don't you want HIM back?
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: None of that nonsense, Benton. I've GOT him back. As long as he does the job, he can wear what face he likes.
Dr. Who: Well, I'll do my best, but I can't make any promises.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Well, in that case, you better consult with those all-powerful superiors of yours for THEIR advice.
Dr. Who: Oh, I don't think THAT would do any good. At the moment, they're FAR from being all-powerful. That's why it's been left up to me and me and me.

Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: All right, now we're in here, what do we do?
Dr. Who: Well, we have a think. Care for a jelly baby?

Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: [as the Doctor finishes conversing with his previous incarnation] Who in the name of heaven was that?
Dr. Who: I'm afraid you'd never believe me.

"Doctor Who: Robot: Part One (#12.1)" (1974)
[first lines]
[after brief recap of the previous episode's regeneration scene]
Brigadier: [dials operator on telephone] Get me the medical officer.
[the Doctor mumbles something]
Brigadier: Lieutenant Sullivan, emergency. Come to the lab at once, please.
The Doctor: ...human history.
Brigadier: What's he talking about?
Sarah Jane Smith: It's something that happened when we first met.
The Doctor: [sits up rapidly] I tell you, Brigadier, there's nothing to worry about. The brontosaurus is large and placid.
[the Doctor collapses again. Harry Sullivan enters]
Harry: This is the patient, sir?
The Doctor: And stupid.
The Doctor: [sits up again, clutching Sarah] The square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the square on the other two sides. Why is a mouse when it spins? Never did know the answer to that one.
Sergeant Benton: [entering] Excuse me, sir. The daily reports.
Harry: Take him to the sick bay, I'll make a proper examination there.
Sergeant Benton: What's happening, sir? Who's...
Brigadier: That, Mr. Benton, is the Doctor.
Sergeant Benton: You mean he's done it again? He's changed?
Brigadier: Apparently. Saw it happen this time. Lieutenant Sullivan?
Harry: Yes, sir?
Brigadier: I'm placing the Doctor in your personal charge. He is to have your full attention.
Harry: Right-o, sir.

The Doctor: [peeks out the TARDIS again] Excuse me.
Brigadier: What?
The Doctor: Haven't we met somewhere before? No, don't tell me. Alexander the Great? No. Hannibal? No. Ah! Brigadier. Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart. How are you?
Brigadier: [having his hand shaken vigorously] Very well, thank you.
The Doctor: And Sarah Jane! Well, now, isn't this... What was that you said about a secret weapon?

[to Harry Sullivan, who'd been locked in a cabinet by the Doctor]
Brigadier: Well, where is he?
[vworp, vworp]
Brigadier: [recognizing the TARDIS dematerialization] Ah, too late.
Sarah Jane Smith: [to the TARDIS pounding the wood exterior] Ohh, no! No, Doctor, wait! Doctor, listen! Please, it's Sarah! Doctor...
[the TARDIS winds down, the Doctor peeks out]
The Doctor: Hello. Come to see me off, have you? Well, I hate goodbyes. I'll just slip away quietly.
Sarah Jane Smith: No, no, Doctor, you *can't* go!
The Doctor: "Can't"? "*Can't*"? There's no such word as "can't"!
[the Doctor slams the door]
Sarah Jane Smith: [to the Brigadier, heartbroken] Wha...
[the Doctor opens the door, taps Sarah's arm]
Sarah Jane Smith: Oh!
The Doctor: Why not?
Sarah Jane Smith: Well, because you're not... Well, because, um, the Brigadier needs you. Don't you, Brigadier?
Brigadier: [caught not paying attention] What? Oh, yes, of course, depending on you.
The Doctor: What for?
Sarah Jane Smith: There's been this robbery, hasn't there, Brigadier? Some kind of secret weapon.
Brigadier: Ah, yes. Very serious business.
Sarah Jane Smith: I mean, you are still UNIT's scientific adviser. Remember? Well, you can't go rushing off and leave them in the lurch.
The Doctor: Can't I? Goodbye.

"Doctor Who: The Five Doctors (#20.23)" (1983)
Second Doctor: [the Second Doctor's visit of his old friend Brigadier Allister Gordon Lethgridge Stewart is drawing to a close] Now Brigadier I must bid hail and farewell. I shouldn't even be here at all. I'm not exactly breaking the laws of time but I am bending them a little.
Brigadier: [Nodding slightly] Yes. You never did care much for rules as I remember.

Second Doctor: Have faith, Brigadier. Have I ever led you astray?
Brigadier: On many occasions.
Second Doctor: Yes, well, this will be the exception.

Brigadier: [the second Doctor and the Brigadier have only just arrived in the Zone on Gallifrey] Charming spot Doctor.
Second Doctor: [crossly] My dear Brigadier, there's no use blaming me.
Brigadier: You attract trouble Doctor. You always did.

"Doctor Who: Battlefield: Part Three (#26.3)" (1989)
Brigadier: Oh dear. Women, not really my field.
The Doctor: Don't worry, Brigadier, people will be shooting at you soon.

[the Brigadier comes across the Doctor saving him from the defence system]
Brigadier: I just can't let you out of my sight, can I, Doctor?
The Doctor: Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. So you recognise me, then?
Brigadier: Yes. Who else would it be?

Downtime (1995) (V)
Brigadier: Go back to Hell. You're not wanted here!

Travers: Tell me, Brigadier, which part of my great plan do you admire the most?
Brigadier: None of it. For a so-called Intelligence it's pretty damned stupid.

"Doctor Who: The Three Doctors: Episode Four (#10.4)" (1973)
Dr. Who: If only I could find my recorder, I could play you a little something to pass the time.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: We must be thankful for small mercies.

Jo Grant: Pity. He was so sweet.
Dr. Who: Yes, wasn't I?
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Yes, well, as far as I'm concerned, Doctor, one of you is enough. More than enough.

"Doctor Who: Terror of the Autons: Episode One (#8.1)" (1971)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: You've been agitating for a new assistant ever since Miss Shaw went back to Cambridge.
Doctor Who: Liz was a highly qualified scientist. I want someone with the same qualifications.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Nonsense. What you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw herself so often remarked, is someone to pass you your test tubes and to tell you how brilliant you are. Miss Grant will fulfil that function admirably.

Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: This, er, this device of his, is it very powerful?
Doctor Who: Oh, I should say roughly equal to a 15 megaton bomb.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Really? Well, the research boys'll be glad to get their hands on this.
Doctor Who: Too late, Brigadier, I've boiled out the contents. The weapons that you have on Earth are quite nasty enough as it is.

"Doctor Who: Mawdryn Undead: Part Three (#20.11)" (1983)
The Doctor: Ah, Brigadier, quickly think: Did you go into the TARDIS with Tegan and Nyssa?
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: Well, I can't remember. Does it really matter?
The Doctor: Of course it matters! Can you imagine what would happen if you walked out of the TARDIS in 1977 and met yourself in 1983?
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: Oh, that's ridiculous.
The Doctor: It's not ridiculous, Brigadier. Almost certainly catastrophic.
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: What do you mean? That I could be two people?
The Doctor: Obviously. You'd exist twice over, and if the two of you met you'd short out the time differential, don't you see? The Blinovitch Limitation Time Effect? Oh, dear. As Tegan would say - zap!

The Doctor: The transmat could be dangerous.
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: I'm coming with you.
The Doctor: If you insist.
Vislor Turlough: And so am I.
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: Oh, don't be ridiculous, Turlough.
Vislor Turlough: The Doctor needs my help. And, besides, how do I explain to the Headmaster where you've gone?
The Doctor: Turlough could be useful.
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: And what about the danger you implied?
The Doctor: It still exists, but if you're so concerned about Turlough, set an example and stay behind.

"Doctor Who: Robot: Part Four (#12.4)" (1975)
[last lines]
[the TARDIS starts dematerializing. As it fades the Brigadier enters]
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Doctor, about that dinner at the Palace: Her Majes...
[the TARDIS fades away completely]
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: [to the empty room] Yes. Well, I'll tell them you'll be a little late.

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.

"Doctor Who: Terror of the Autons: Episode Three (#8.3)" (1971)
[a government official has turned up]
Brownrose: I must say, Brigadier, I'm far from satisfied that you've grasped the urgency of this matter.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: I assure you I have.
Brownrose: It's not something to be shuffled off onto some stray boffin, you know.
Dr. Who: [imperiously] Now just a moment, my good man. We at UNIT are very busy with a number of extremely urgent matters.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Doctor, please.
Dr. Who: The Brigadier has a great deal on his plate. You cannot expect his exclusive attention for your petty concerns!
Brownrose: Oh, can't I sir? Now, I'll have you know that my...
Dr. Who: Who's in charge of you pen-pushers these days? Old Tubby Rowlands isn't it?
Brownrose: Lord Rowlands is head of our department, yes.
Dr. Who: Yes, I was saying to him in the club only the other day, "Wrong sort of chap is creeping into your lot, Tubby" I said.

"Doctor Who: Inferno: Episode 7 (#7.25)" (1970)
[last lines]
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: "Pompous, self-opinionated idiot" I believe you said, Doctor?
Doctor Who: Yes, well, we... we don't want to bear a grudge for a few hasty words, do we?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Mmm.
Doctor Who: No, not after all the years we've worked together. Now come along, my dear fellow. Put on a smile! Let's remember all...
[trails off as Liz laughs]

"Doctor Who: Robot: Part Three (#12.3)" (1975)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: A few months ago, the superpowers, Russia, America, and China, decided upon a plan to ensure peace. All three powers have hidden atomic missile sites. All three agreed to give details of those sites plus full operation instructions to another neutral country. In the event of trouble, that country could publish everyone's secrets and so cool things down. Well, naturally enough the only country that could be trusted with such a role was Great Britain.
Doctor Who: Naturally, I mean the rest were all foreigners.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Exactly.

"Doctor Who: The Time Monster: Episode Six (#9.26)" (1972)
[last lines]
[the Brigadier bursts into the TOMTIT lab, weapon drawn, with two UNIT soldiers behind him]
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Right, stand quite still, everyone!
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: [pauses, assessing the room] Uh... where's the Master?
The Doctor: A very good question, Brigadier.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Doctor. Glad to see you're back. Miss Grant, what on earth are you doing in that extraordinary get-up? And where, for heaven's sake, is Sergeant Benton?
Stuart Hyde: [grabbing Dr. Ruth Ingram's arm] The baby! We forgot the baby!
[Stuart and Ruth look over the defunct TOMTIT device. Sgt. Benton rises from behind, nude, having burst out of his infant form's diaper]
Sergeant Benton: [shyly] Would somebody please mind telling me exactly what's happening around here?
The Doctor, Dr. Ruth Ingram, Jo Grant: [laughing]

Doctor Who: Dimensions in Time (1993) (TV)
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: I'm finding it difficult to keep up with all of you these days, Doctor.
The Doctor: Some other time eh, Brigadier? Alas there's no time for pleasantries. I must find my young friend.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: We'll speak soon, old chap. To all of you, I hope.

"Doctor Who: The Dæmons: Episode Five (#8.25)" (1971)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Chap with the wings there. Five rounds rapid.
[the bullets have no effect]

"Doctor Who: Mawdryn Undead: Part Four (#20.12)" (1983)
The Doctor: I've got to program a temporal deviation to escape the warp ellipse.
Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart: We stuck on this ship?
The Doctor: I wonder... if I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow...

"Doctor Who: Spearhead from Space: Episode 1 (#7.1)" (1970)
Lethbridge-Stewart: In the last decade, we've been sending probes deeper and deeper into space. We've drawn attention to ourselves, Miss Shaw.

"Doctor Who: Terror of the Zygons: Part Four (#13.4)" (1975)
The Brigadier: No, the cabinet's accepted my report and the whole affair's now completely closed.
The Duke: You mean it never happened.
The Brigadier: Er, well, a fifty foot monster can't swim up the Thames and attack a large building without some people noticing.But you know what politicians are like.

"Doctor Who: The Three Doctors: Episode One (#10.1)" (1972)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: The thing is, Doctor, is there anything I can do?
The Doctor: Yes, pass me a silicon rod, will you?
[a rod is passed to the Doctor, who merely stirs his coffee with it]
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Yes, what I meant was is there anything that UNIT can do about this space lightning business?
The Doctor: Lightning? Yes, I suppose it could look like lightning, only it isn't. No, if there were such a thing, I'd say it was compressed light, a sort of controlled superlucent emission.

"Doctor Who: Terror of the Autons: Episode Four (#8.4)" (1971)
Jo Grant: [about the Master] And now he's stuck here on Earth.
Doctor Who: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Think he'll turn up again, Doctor?
Doctor Who: Mmm, bound to.
Jo Grant: You don't seem very worried about it.
Doctor Who: I'm not. As a matter of fact, Jo, I'm rather looking forward to it.

"Doctor Who: Terror of the Zygons: Part Two (#13.2)" (1975)
[Sarah notices the Brigadier is stirring and alerts the Doctor]
Sarah Jane Smith: Hey, he's coming round.
Doctor Who: Hmm?
[They move to stand over where the Brigadier is getting up off the floor. The Brigadier comes upright face-to-face with the Doctor]
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Ah, Doctor, there you are.
[the Brigadier suddenly looks askance and pensive]
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: What was I doing on the floor?
Doctor Who: You've been asleep, Brigadier.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Asleep? Impossible. I was on duty. There are times, Doctor, when you do talk absolute nonsense. Excuse me.
[the Brigadier walks past between them. The Doctor and Sarah share a chuckle]

"Doctor Who: The Claws of Axos: Episode Four (#8.14)" (1971)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: This time loop... thing, how did you get out of it?
Doctor Who: I simply boosted the circuits and broke free.
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: And you came back of your own accord?
Doctor Who: Well I...
Jo Grant: Doctor?
Doctor Who: No. No, I'm afraid not. No, obviously the Time Lords have programmed the TARDIS always to return to Earth. It seems I'm some kind of a galactic yo-yo!

"Doctor Who: Doctor Who and the Silurians: Episode 2 (#7.6)" (1970)
Major Baker: Your men will be armed, sir?
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Small arms, grenades, nothing very substantial.
Major Baker: We'll be a bit short on firepower.
Doctor Who: That's typical of the military mind, isn't it? Present them with a new problem, and they start shooting at it.

"Doctor Who: The Three Doctors: Episode Three (#10.3)" (1973)
Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart: Now, see here, Doctor, you have finally gone too far!
Dr. Who: I rather think we all have.