Switowski
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Switowski (Character)
from The Longest Yard (2005)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
The Longest Yard (2005)
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: [drinking a toast with Caretaker] Here's to the first friend I've had in I-don't-know-how-long
Switowski: I thought I was your friend, Paul.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You are my friend, Switowski. Just finish your coloring book and go to sleep.
Switowski: OK.

Switowski: I thought I was your friend, Paul.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: You are my friend, Switowski, just, finish your coloring book and go to sleep.
Switowski: OK.

Switowski: He broke-ded my nose
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Let me try to fix that.
[Crewe fixes his nose]
Switowski: How do I look?
Caretaker: Much better, like a young Michael Jackson.
Switowski: I love little Michael.

Switowski: Will you teach me to football?
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Sure, I'll teach you to football.
Caretaker: I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me.

Switowski: [after Turley breaks his nose] I think he did it on purpose!
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: No, he didn't do it on puropse...
[glances over at Turley]
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Okay maybe he did.

Guard Dunham: [after breaking off a long run, storms up to Megget] That's how a white man runs the football!
Earl Megget: Man, you lucky I ain't on defense. I'd crack you in that egg-ass head of yours!
Guard Dunham: Yeah, but you ain't on defense. Are ya, bitch?
Earl Megget: Switowski! Come here!
[he comes running over]
Earl Megget: You know what he said in the library?
[whispers to Switowski about Dunham calling Malcolm X then "N word", as Switowski's eyes about pop out of his head]
Earl Megget: Yes. Him. Out!
Switowski: [Destroys Dunham with a huge hit on the next play. Everyone gathers around to look at Dunham and sniffs] I think I made-ed him shit himself.
Coach Nate Scarborough: I think he just shit himself.
All Sportswriters: I think he just shit himself.
Stretcher Guy: Good lord, this guy shit himself big time!
Switowski: [jumps up and down celebrating] See! I told you i made-ed him shit himself!
Earl Megget: [as Dunmham is being carted off the field on a stretcher] I'll be sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp!
Deacon Moss: And some diapers!

Switowski: I'm sorry... I brokeded your toy.
Paul 'Wrecking' Crewe: Oh, no, it's a good thing! you should share a victory hug with Caretaker.
Caretaker: What?
[Switowski lifts Caretaker in bear-hug and spins around laughing]
Caretaker: [to Paul] Asshole!