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: Where are you going? Larry
: I'm gonna kill the bitch. You want something? Owen
: Could you get me a Chunky?
: Owen! Food! Owen
: In a minute, Momma. Momma
: Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don't burn the toast! Owen
: Kill her, Larry.
: Your friend had an accident, he's dead! You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me! Owen
: He's dead? Momma
: See for yourself. Owen
: Larry! My friend, my friend... Larry! Momma
: "My friend! My friend!" You big crybaby. Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place.
: You killed my wife, Owen! Owen
: No, I didn't... Yes, I did. Larry
: You're a sick man, Owen. You need care and I'm taking you to the police. Owen
: Did you know that Hawaii is a series of islands that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that. Larry
: You killed somebody! You killed a person. You're a murderer. You took a life! Owen
: You're right. You're right, I'm no good. How could I do that? I'm a sick pers... cows!
[points at passing billboard
[Momma sees Larry for the first time
: Who's this? Owen
: This is Cousin Paddy. He's coming to stay with us a while. Isn't that nice? Momma
] You don't *have* a "Cousin Paddy". Owen
: [to Larry
] You lied to me!
[Owen knocks Larry out with a frying pan to the head
: Momma! You're alive!
: Old people - you have to reassure them.
: [Larry has driven his car off the road and it's going downhill through a load of bushes. Sat next to him in the passenger seat is Owen
] This is good. It's like the Flintstones car wash.
: Larry! I can't breath! Larry
: Yes! That's because I'm choking you!
: Owen, you gotta get it through your thick head. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a killer. Owen
: You don't have to blow her brains out or anything. Larry
] Thank you, that takes the pressure right off. Owen
: She's old. She's got a bad ticker. All you gotta do is jerk around a lot when you talk to her.
[Mimics shaking Mrs. Lift viciously
: "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lift!" Larry
: Would you stop it? Owen
: Well just meet her. Maybe she'll be somebody you'd LIKE to kill.
: [referring to Owen's lousy murder mystery paper
] It wasn't motivated. Owen
: Sure it was. The guy in the hat killed the other guy in the hat.
: [on the phone with Owen from Hawaii
] Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife? Owen
: Ehh, I don't want to say over the phone. All I can tell ya is that I killed her last night.
: You were writing a letter. Owen
: No, Momma! Momma
: You are writing to tell them to take me away! You want them to take me away! Owen
: I'm writing a story for class, Momma! I don't want them to take you away! Momma
: Yes, you do! Owen
: Owen loves his Momma! Momma
: [to herself
] Owen loves his Momma!
: Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma...
[Owen is typing on his typewriter when Momma comes and slams his hands on the keyboard
: Stop it, damn it! I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out.
[Cut to bathroom. Momma slaps Owen
: Oh, Momma... Momma
: You're writing to her, aren't you Owen? Owen
: Don't start that again, Momma, and don't hit me anymore! Momma
: You love her. Owen
: There's no "her", Momma.
[Momma bends down above the bathtub as Owen brushes her hair back
: You're writing a letter! Owen
: I'm writing a story for class, Momma. Don't you see? I take a class, I take a nice class. Momma
: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Owen
: And I'm gonna be a writer someday. Momma
: You know how that typing upsets me! Owen
: I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes. Momma
: You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. You'll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type, type. You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon.
[Owen notices a pair of long scissors on a nearby shelf, picks them up and raises them
: You won't ever hear it again, Momma. I promise.
[Owen stabs Momma through the ear with the scissors. Momma stands up screaming
] Momma... Momma
: [Cleaning her ear
] I think you got it, sonny.
[Owen suddenly comes to his senses, realising he was imagining killing her
: I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby.
[Kisses him on the cheek and hugs him
: I know, Momma. I know. Momma
: Owen, my little baby. Owen, my little baby boy.
[Owen still looks confused as to how he cleared Momma's ear
: She didn't feel a thing, professor Donner. I know how important that is to you not to have her feel a thing. Larry
: Who? Owen
: Your wife. She had a little trouble walking, but that was from the gardener. Larry
: You saw my wife? Owen
: She was kind of a tart Larry. Although I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful.
: Why did you kill my wife? Owen
: I thought you wanted me to. That was the deal we made that night. You told me that hated your wife. You wished she was dead. I told you I hated my mama. I told you I wished she was dead. To told me to see that Hitchcock film about swaping murders. I figured I kill your wife and you kill my mama. That's fair. Larry
: I am not killing your mother. You have to turn yourself in. Owen
: I'm not turning myself in. That's not part of the plan. Larry
: What plan? There was never any plan, you moron! I am taking you to the police and you are telling them what you did! That's it and that's all! I don't want to hear another word! Owen
: If you take me to the cops, I'll just tell them that you did it Larry! What's the point trying to convince them that I did it all on my own? You've got the motive!