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Quotes for
Owen (Character)
from Throw Momma from the Train (1987)

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Throw Momma from the Train (1987)
Owen: Where are you going?
Larry: I'm gonna kill the bitch. You want something?
Owen: Could you get me a Chunky?

Momma: Owen! Food!
Owen: In a minute, Momma.
Momma: Don't you "In a minute, Momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don't burn the toast!
Owen: Kill her, Larry.

Momma: Your friend had an accident, he's dead! You go bowling and leave a corpse to take care of me!
Owen: He's dead?
Momma: See for yourself.
Owen: Larry! My friend, my friend... Larry!
Momma: "My friend! My friend!" You big crybaby. Go bury him in the yard before he stinks up the place.

Larry: You killed my wife, Owen!
Owen: No, I didn't... Yes, I did.
Larry: You're a sick man, Owen. You need care and I'm taking you to the police.
Owen: Did you know that Hawaii is a series of islands that was all spit up by the same volcano? I never knew that.
Larry: You killed somebody! You killed a person. You're a murderer. You took a life!
Owen: You're right. You're right, I'm no good. How could I do that? I'm a sick pers... cows!
[points at passing billboard]

[Momma sees Larry for the first time]
Momma: Who's this?
Owen: This is Cousin Paddy. He's coming to stay with us a while. Isn't that nice?
Momma: [suspiciously] You don't *have* a "Cousin Paddy".
Owen: [to Larry] You lied to me!
[Owen knocks Larry out with a frying pan to the head]

Owen: Momma! You're alive!
[to police]
Owen: Old people - you have to reassure them.

Owen: [Larry has driven his car off the road and it's going downhill through a load of bushes. Sat next to him in the passenger seat is Owen] This is good. It's like the Flintstones car wash.

Owen: Larry! I can't breath!
Larry: Yes! That's because I'm choking you!

Larry: Owen, you gotta get it through your thick head. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a killer.
Owen: You don't have to blow her brains out or anything.
Larry: [Sarcastically] Thank you, that takes the pressure right off.
Owen: She's old. She's got a bad ticker. All you gotta do is jerk around a lot when you talk to her.
[Mimics shaking Mrs. Lift viciously]
Owen: "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lift!"
Larry: Would you stop it?
Owen: Well just meet her. Maybe she'll be somebody you'd LIKE to kill.

Larry: [referring to Owen's lousy murder mystery paper] It wasn't motivated.
Owen: Sure it was. The guy in the hat killed the other guy in the hat.

Larry: [on the phone with Owen from Hawaii] Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife?
Owen: Ehh, I don't want to say over the phone. All I can tell ya is that I killed her last night.
[hangs up]

Momma: You were writing a letter.
Owen: No, Momma!
Momma: You are writing to tell them to take me away! You want them to take me away!
Owen: I'm writing a story for class, Momma! I don't want them to take you away!
Momma: Yes, you do!
Owen: Owen loves his Momma!
Momma: [to herself] Owen loves his Momma!
[singing mockingly]
Momma: Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma, Owen loves his Momma...

[Owen is typing on his typewriter when Momma comes and slams his hands on the keyboard]
Momma: Stop it, damn it! I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out.
[Cut to bathroom. Momma slaps Owen]
Owen: Oh, Momma...
Momma: You're writing to her, aren't you Owen?
Owen: Don't start that again, Momma, and don't hit me anymore!
Momma: You love her.
Owen: There's no "her", Momma.
[Momma bends down above the bathtub as Owen brushes her hair back]
Momma: You're writing a letter!
Owen: I'm writing a story for class, Momma. Don't you see? I take a class, I take a nice class.
Momma: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Owen: And I'm gonna be a writer someday.
Momma: You know how that typing upsets me!
Owen: I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes.
Momma: You're gonna be nothing. You're gonna be nothing. You'll never get to first base. All you do is type, type, type, type, type, type. You sit there typing all day like a fat little pigeon.
[Owen notices a pair of long scissors on a nearby shelf, picks them up and raises them]
Owen: You won't ever hear it again, Momma. I promise.
[Owen stabs Momma through the ear with the scissors. Momma stands up screaming]
Owen: [Confused] Momma...
Momma: [Cleaning her ear] I think you got it, sonny.
[Owen suddenly comes to his senses, realising he was imagining killing her]
Momma: I don't know what I'd do without you, Owen baby.
[Kisses him on the cheek and hugs him]
Owen: I know, Momma. I know.
Momma: Owen, my little baby. Owen, my little baby boy.
[Owen still looks confused as to how he cleared Momma's ear]

Owen: She didn't feel a thing, professor Donner. I know how important that is to you not to have her feel a thing.
Larry: Who?
Owen: Your wife. She had a little trouble walking, but that was from the gardener.
Larry: You saw my wife?
Owen: She was kind of a tart Larry. Although I can see why you married her. She was very beautiful.

Larry: Why did you kill my wife?
Owen: I thought you wanted me to. That was the deal we made that night. You told me that hated your wife. You wished she was dead. I told you I hated my mama. I told you I wished she was dead. To told me to see that Hitchcock film about swaping murders. I figured I kill your wife and you kill my mama. That's fair.
Larry: I am not killing your mother. You have to turn yourself in.
Owen: I'm not turning myself in. That's not part of the plan.
Larry: What plan? There was never any plan, you moron! I am taking you to the police and you are telling them what you did! That's it and that's all! I don't want to hear another word!
Owen: If you take me to the cops, I'll just tell them that you did it Larry! What's the point trying to convince them that I did it all on my own? You've got the motive!

Owen: I wrote a book, and it got published. It's called Owen, And Owens Friend Larry. And it's all about you, me, and momma, and our times that we shared together. What's your book about?
Larry: You wrote a book about us?
Owen: Yeah!
Larry: Mmmhmm. All about you, me, and momma?
Owen: Yeah! Isn't it great?
Larry: Mmmm... YOU SON OF A BITCH, I'm gonna KILL YOU!
Owen: Wha... what? Don't! Do you want me to leave?
Larry: No, I don't want you to leave, I want you dead!
Owen: No, no, wait! Larry! Here! Take this! It's a copy of my book.
Larry: What is this, you wrote a pop up book?
Owen: Yeah! See, there's me, you, and there's momma. And see, this is the little train... TOOT TOOT!
Larry: You wrote a pop up book! Owen, this is the cutest thing I have ever seen!