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Quotes for
Julie Keaton (Character)
from "Scrubs" (2001)

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"Scrubs: My First Step (#2.7)" (2002)
Julie Keaton: This drug is the best one on the market. The only side effects are nausea, impotence and anal leakage.
Dr. Cox: And, I'm getting two out of three, just from having this conversation.


"Scrubs: My Fruit Cups (#2.8)" (2002)
Dr. Perry Cox: [to Jordan, who came back home pregnant] Jordan, please tell me you ate a raccoon and it's slowly making its way through your digestive system...
Jordan Sullivan: Oh, don't worry. It's not your baby. Though not for lack of trying; see
[to Julie]
Jordan Sullivan: , we have sex a lot.
Julie Keaton: Who are you?
Jordan Sullivan: Who do you think I am?
Julie Keaton: Well, you have keys to the apartment, so I'm gonna say... the maid!
Dr. Perry Cox: Julie, this is my ex-wife, Jordan. Jordan, this is my girlfriend, Julie. OK, that was a treat, wasn't it?
[to Jordan]
Dr. Perry Cox: Now, would you like me to call you a cab or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?
Jordan Sullivan: [to Julie while sitting on the sofa] Oh no. He called you his girlfriend... If I were you, I'd start gathering your tiny panties up because... I thing you're done.
Julie Keaton: I'm already bored by you. Perry, I will be in the bedroom; come join me when Tubby leaves.
[she leaves]
Jordan Sullivan: Ta.
Dr. Perry Cox: Oh, who did that to you?
Jordan Sullivan: Well, I was at this fabulous hotel in Greece, chock full of available, wealthy men...
Dr. Perry Cox: [interrupting her] So it was the bellboy?
Jordan Sullivan: Or busboy, or pool-boy... something "boy", I don't know. Anyway, when I first found out I was panicked; and then I thought I've kind of been drifting through life all these years... and I need to look into my heart and see what really matters to me. Anyway, I decided to keep the stupid kid.
Dr. Perry Cox: You should cut out the middle man and just have a therapist deliver him. I mean, honestly, Jordan, why are you telling me this?
Jordan Sullivan: Oh! Because I've also decided that I want you back.