Dr. Kim Briggs
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Quotes for
Dr. Kim Briggs (Character)
from "Scrubs" (2001)

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"Scrubs: My Hard Labor (#7.2)" (2007)
Dr. Kim Briggs: [in labor] Aaaaargh! I hate you so much right now, J.D.!
Dr. Donna: Don't worry, all women say that stuff during labor. She doesn't mean it.
Dr. Kim Briggs: I do! He just broke up with me!
Dr. Donna: What?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: No, no! Technically I didn't break up with her; I just told her I didn't love her.
Nurse Shirley: Who did he say that to?
Dr. Donna: The mother of his baby!
Nurse Shirley: No, he didn't...
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [to himself] Man, she looks familiar...
Dr. Kim Briggs: Get out!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: No, I'm not letting you go through this alone.
Dr. Kim Briggs: I have someone else I can call!
[Elliot's sleeping; her phone rings; she wakes up and answers]
Dr. Elliot Reid: Keith, I get it, I ruined your life. Stop calling.
[on the phone Kim cries in agony]
Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh hey, Kim!

Dr. Kim Briggs: You're a piece of crap!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You're doing great. That hurt.
Dr. Kim Briggs: I hate your hair!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Impossible. Nobody does.

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating] OK, not answering Kim's "I love you" was awkward, but at least it was over.
Dr. Kim Briggs: So, do you think you could ever be in love with me?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [to himself] Let it go, woman!
[out loud]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Kim, let's focus on having the baby.
Dr. Kim Briggs: Answer the question.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [to himself] Lie to her.
Dr. Kim Briggs: And don't lie to me
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Look, I think you're amazing, right? I've mentioned that. And... and even though I'm not, you know, in love with you right now, I really hope that one day I wake up feeling what you said you feel... even though I kinda asked you not to say it.
Dr. Kim Briggs: Do you really hope that?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: With all my heart.
Dr. Kim Briggs: [sarcastically] Because I always dreamed of finding a guy who hoped he could fall in love with me someday.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Really? That's kind of weird.
Dr. Kim Briggs: No! J.D., do you actually think that's enough for me? There are a lot of guys out there who think I'm a good catch; the words "cute as a button" have been thrown around on more than one occasion!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I know that, Kim... you're amazing.
Dr. Kim Briggs: Stop calling me amazing, OK? Would you even be with me if I wasn't dropping this kid?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I don't know how to answer that...
Dr. Kim Briggs: I think you just did... You know what? We're done.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh, what are you talking about? We're having a baby.
Dr. Kim Briggs: Yeah, we are, but I deserve to be with somebody who doesn't need to cross his fingers and hope that he falls in love with me, maybe someday. It's over, J.D.
[Kim's labor starts]
Dr. Kim Briggs: Aaaaaargh!
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Aaaaargh!
Dr. Kim Briggs: Get in here with the epidural!


"Scrubs: My Conventional Wisdom (#6.20)" (2007)
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Why would you tell me you miscarried our child when you clearly didn't?
Dr. Kim Briggs: That's probably a question I should answer more face to face after the lecture.
[stammering]
Dr. Kim Briggs: Are there any other questions? Yes, you sir.
Dr. Christopher Turk: Yeah, uh, I think you should answer his question.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [thinking] How did he get over there so fast?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [out loud] You're a good friend.
Dr. Christopher Turk: I got your back.
Dr. Kim Briggs: [breathing deeply] Anyone else have a question? Yes you i-in the back.
Old M.C.: Bust a move!
Dr. Kim Briggs: Really more a statement than a question, but thank you.

Dr. Kim Briggs: What can I possibly say?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Oh, I don't know. How about "There might be something living in my uterus."


"Scrubs: My Transition (#5.24)" (2006)
Dr. Kimberly Wyatt: See you at six, wear somethin slutty! ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM!

J.D.: Hey Kim, how'd you like a night into town with the hottest doctor in this place?
Dr. Kim Briggs: I'd rather just go out with you.


"Scrubs: My Point of No Return (#6.22)" (2007)
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating while cuddling Kim] It felt good to be holding the mother of my child...
Dr. Kim Briggs: This is nice.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating, still cuddling Kim] ... but given recent events, cuddling was as far as I was gonna go. Kim and I had to get to know each other again and build trust and... oh, my God, is that side-boob?
Dr. Kim Briggs: Oohh, careful with the side-boob, big guy... my hormones are going crazy. I might just pounce your skinny ass...
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Kim, I really don't think we should.
Dr. Kim Briggs: I won't, then. I got a giant boogie in my nose.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating] Look at her saying "I won't" with a giant boogie in her nose... I must have her!
[out loud]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: You know what, on second thought...
Dr. Kim Briggs: Yes?
[they start to kiss and make out]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [narrating] Still, I wonder what it'll be like having sex with a pregnant woman.
[later that night]
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: That was so cool... and weird!
Dr. Kim Briggs: Yeah... somebody else liked it too. He's going crazy in there.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And now it's disgusting.


"Scrubs: My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby (#6.2)" (2006)
Dr. Kim Briggs: J.D., we have to talk about all of our pregnancy options, even if they make us uncomfortable- There's one way of dealing with this that no one's mentioned yet... the "A" word.
J.D.: I know.
[as Kim speaks too]
J.D.: Appletinis.
Dr. Kim Briggs: [as J.D. Speaks too] Abortion... what?
J.D.: I though that we could discuss abortion over Appletinis.
Nurse Laverne Roberts: Did somebody just say "abortion"?
Dr. Kim Briggs: Laverne, with all due respect, this is none of your business... or Jesus'.
Nurse Laverne Roberts: [puts a Jesus statue on the counter] I believe he would beg to differ...
[J.D.' fantasy starts]
Jesus: She's right, J.D., every life is precious.
J.D.: But what if having this baby is a huge mistake for us?
Jesus: [sighs tiredly, massages his own eyes and stretches from stress] OK... I'm gonna make this real simple: no abortion, OK?
J.D.: But what if...
Jesus: [in a high-pitched voice] No abortions...
J.D.: Let me finish... what if the parents were, like, abusive drug-addicts who would neglect their kid?
Jesus: Oh, well, in that case it'd be OK.
J.D.: Really?
Jesus: No abortions! How are you not getting this?
[J.D.'s fantasy ends]


"Scrubs: My Urologist (#5.23)" (2006)
J.D.: [calling out to Dr. Kim, who he is disappointed to learn wears her wedding ring] Kim, wait! I know I can't make you mine, unless I make you mine...
J.D.: [reveals his vampire teeth and bites in Dr. Kim's neck a la Dr. Acula] ... for eternity!
Dr. Kim Briggs: Dr. Acula! Don't... stop!


"Scrubs: My Mirror Image (#6.1)" (2006)
Dr. Kim Briggs: Oh, come on. No laugh from a guy who, when he orders a coffee, says "Thanks a latte!"
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Well, that's different, Kim, that's hilarious. This is life-changing.