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Quotes for
Sgt. Zelmo Zale (Character)
from "M*A*S*H" (1972)

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"M*A*S*H: The Merchant of Korea (#6.14)" (1977)
Sgt. Zelmo Zale: Hey, what're you doing? That's "Mañana"!
Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: Don't you have any Rakhmaninov?
Sgt. Zelmo Zale: Nah, we don't carry any vodka.


"M*A*S*H: For Want of a Boot (#2.17)" (1974)
Zale: Look, we made a deal. He didn't come through.
Hawkeye: Do you know what I did? How I degraded myself? How I groveled, how I humbled, how I cheapened myself? All for a pair of miserable, lousy, army boots? I swear to you, as dedicated as I am to the sanctity and preservation of human life, if I had a gun at this moment, I would send my head across the tent!
Zale: A gun takes six weeks. There's a terrific waiting list.


"M*A*S*H: Out of Gas (#7.12)" (1978)
Sgt. Zelmo Zale: Look, Colonel, this sort of trading goes on constantly. Major, you remember the time you wanted those leather hip-boots with the spiked heels?
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: Never mind!
Col. Sherman T. Potter: Spiked heels? How do you fish with those on?


"M*A*S*H: Of Moose and Men (#4.11)" (1975)
[Sgt. Zale, drunk, has broken his hand]
B.J.: Congratulations, Sergeant. You've just turned your right hand into a maraca. Once I set it, you can sit in with the relief band.
Zale: How come I don't feel no pain?
B.J.: It's swimming upstream against the bourbon.