Marc St. James
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Quotes for
Marc St. James (Character)
from "Ugly Betty" (2006)

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"Ugly Betty: The Kids Are Alright (#2.17)" (2008)
Marc St. James: I'm here, I'm queer and I'm eating your pastries.

Wilhelmina Slater: Am I smiling, I can't tell?
Marc St. James: I think you are.

Marc St. James: [to Wilhelmina Slater] . You are a horror movie I wish would never end.

Amanda Tanen: Betty, we are so glad you finally found a rebound guy. You and Henry?
Marc St. James: Mismaaatch! One time, I saw him changing his shirt in the bathroom, and I wasn't staring, and I definitely did not take a picture, but for a nerd accountant? He has body kar-ate
[shows Amanda a picture on his phone]
Amanda Tanen: Ooo. But Gio smells like salami.
Marc St. James: And he's perfect for you!!

Amanda Tanen: Betty, Gio loves you!
Marc St. James: And that's a direct quote from a stall in the men's room.


"Ugly Betty: Pilot (#1.1)" (2006)
Marc St. James: This is Mode, not... Dog Fancy

[seeing Betty talking with Christina and two other less-than-attractive co-workers]
Marc St. James: Ooh. The bizarro version of Sex and The City.
Amanda: Stop it! I'm *gagging*!

Marc St. James: Killer poncho.

Marc St. James: Well he's well on his way to falling flat on his face, I mean can you belive that assistant? This is Mode, not... dogfancy.


"Ugly Betty: Don't Ask, Don't Tell (#1.18)" (2007)
[after Marc's mother calls Justin "swishy"]
Marc St. James: Why don't you open your eyes and look at your own "swishy" son.

Betty Suarez: Marc, are these really the answers that are going to convince your mother you're straight?
Marc St. James: Uh, straight guys-mystic tan. Hello, Tom Cruise.

[Wilhelmina, Daniel, Alexis and Marc are discussing the current Mode situation]
Wilhelmina Slater: Seems like everyone's an Editor-In-Chief here except me!
Marc St. James: Oh, and me.
[Wilhelmina glares at Marc]

Marc St. James: [going through his story with Betty in order to fool his mother] We met when I made a bet with my friends that I could turn you from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan
Betty Suarez: Marc, that's "She's All That."
Marc St. James: No, in that movie, she actually became beautiful. I felt in love with you because of that whole inner beauty crap.


"Ugly Betty: A League of Their Own (#2.5)" (2007)
Cliff: Maybe we could grab a beer before?
Marc St. James: Sure, if by 'beer' you mean 'Appletini'.

Marc St. James: What is it girl? Someone fell down a well?
Amanda Tanen: Betty... internet dating... must mock...

Marc St. James: What, you think he's out of my league? He's a nine, I'm an eight.
Amanda Tanen: He's a ten, you're a six.
Marc St. James: You're a bitch, I'm a seven!


"Ugly Betty: Fey's Sleigh Ride (#1.4)" (2006)
Marc St. James: Nice vest!
Justin Suarez: Ralph Lauren, we got it half price because there is a small hole but you can't even see it.
Marc St. James: So, the kids at school, do they like it?
Justin Suarez: No. They don't really get me.
Marc St. James: A word of advice, be who you are, wear what you want, just learn how to run real fast.

Betty Suarez: Oh, look, here's some of my friends.
Amanda Tanen: Just because we're sharing an elevator, doesn't mean we're friends.
Betty Suarez: Marc, Amanda, this is uh, Justin.
Marc St. James: Oh, so that's pregnancy weight!
[Amanda laughs]
Betty Suarez: Um, no, he's my nephew.
Justin Suarez: [looks down at Amanda's shoes] OH MY GOD! Manolo Blahniks Spring 2004!
Marc St. James: [gasps] Wearing two-year-old shoes! Even I didn't catch that.
[to Betty]
Marc St. James: Definitely not your son.

Wilhelmina Slater: [to MODE staff] We have two days to conceive and execute an entirely new concept!
Daniel Meade: If any of you have plans, I need you to cancel them. I want everyone working together to pull this off.
Wilhelmina Slater: What Daniel's trying to say is, kiss your loved ones goodbye and expect to come home to dead pets!
Marc St. James: [to himself] Schmoopy...


"Ugly Betty: I'm Coming Out (#1.14)" (2007)
Marc St. James: [Wilhelmina has just injected duck sauce in her face, and her eyes have swelled up] It's a blessing, Willie. Think about it, Fashion Week! All those people you don't want to see!
Wilhelmina Slater: But they have to see me! And you will be by my side at all times. You will be my seeing-eye-gay.

Marc St. James: Just so you know, you'll always be my little chimichanga.
[pause]
Marc St. James: It doesn't mean I like you or anything.


"Ugly Betty: Bananas for Betty (#2.10)" (2007)
Wilhelmina Slater: Why aren't they working?
Marc St. James: Willy, a word. It's not that anyone minds being abused, it's just that they thought and I don't know where they got this that they are being paid to be abused.

Marc St. James: Well, then we change your image. Come on, it's the media age, we can do it over night .Britney Spears shaves something or shows something or shows something shaved and it's around the world in seconds. Trust me, lady, I can make you Mother Teresa with better boobs.


"Ugly Betty: When Betty Met YETI (#3.9)" (2008)
Wilhelmina Slater: [Wilhelmina and Marc are discussing Connor] He is ambitious, he's shrewd, he's competitive, he's hot, he's - -he's me.
Marc St. James: He's the Male-amina

Christina McKinney: Betty's magazine is going to kick your magazine's arse!
Marc St. James: Oh, really? What's it called, "Clashing Patterns Digest"?


"Ugly Betty: Filing for the Enemy (#3.2)" (2008)
Betty Suarez: Can you believe it? My first day here and I helped sell.
Marc St. James: Did you flip your wig? I told you to be invisible.
Betty Suarez: She asked me a question, and I was helpful.
Marc St. James: Don't you get it? Wilhelmina doesn't need help. You never outshine the Queen.
Betty Suarez: Yeah, well, she landed a major advertiser, and, by the way, Wilhelmina totally smiled at me.
Marc St. James: She wasn't smiling... she was showing her teeth.
Wilhelmina Slater: Betty! In my office, now.


"Ugly Betty: In or Out (#1.13)" (2007)
Marc St. James: We should hit it with a bat... see if candy falls out.
[to Amanda, after seeing that Betty has returned to Mode with Daniel]


"Ugly Betty: Grin and Bear It (#2.4)" (2007)
Marc St. James: We're doomed! Doooooomed!


"Ugly Betty: Family/Affair (#2.2)" (2007)
Marc St. James: This is embarrassing! AJ, you were assigned number six on Shakira's rider; read that to me!
A.J.: Uh. One box of bendy straws?
Marc St. James: UH HUH! BENDY STRAWS! Now, let's take a look at what you brought back. Okay, so I'm Shakira and I would like to take a drink. So I take a straw, and I put it in my cup. And - oh, but what's this? It doesn't bend? I don't understand! How am I suppose to drink? Like this? This isn't comfortable! I can't drink like this! Am I some kind of animal? NO! YO SOY SHAKIRA! And I will not be holding my drink down under my chin, like some savage, if I'm thirsty!


"Ugly Betty: Trust, Lust and Must (#1.6)" (2006)
Marc: [Dressed up as Betty] Ho-la! Happy Halloween!


"Ugly Betty: Derailed (#1.16)" (2007)
Wilhelmina Slater: You're not here to stitch, you're here to snitch!
Marc St. James: She means she needs information, bitch!


"Ugly Betty: The Lyin', the Watch and the Wardrobe (#1.5)" (2006)
[Marc is dressed as Betty for Halloween]
Marc St. James: Hola! Happy Halloween!
[Amanda laughs like a hyena]
Wilhelmina Slater: Marc!
[Marc flips around to face Wilhelmina]
Wilhelmina Slater: That is the absolute cruelest thing I've ever seen. Someone's getting a raise.


"Ugly Betty: Secretaries Day (#1.21)" (2007)
Marc St. James: Middle Ages is gonna be duh-licious. It's gonna be Britney shaving her head all over again!
Amanda Tanen: Oh, that was fun. But then it got sad.
Marc St. James: No, but then it got fun again!
Amanda Tanen: Promise you won't say anything to anyone?
Marc St. James: I swear on the abs of Mark Wahlberg.
Amanda Tanen: Wow, you are serious.
[Shows Mark her acting reel]
Marc St. James: Shut the front door! Your acting reel? Bring it!
[after watching Amanda's video]
Marc St. James: That was hi... wait for it... larious!


"Ugly Betty: Betty's Wait Problem (#2.3)" (2007)
[Amanda failed to capture the media's attention]
Marc St. James: You've got to out-Lohan Lohan. You've got to out-Britney Britney.


"Ugly Betty: Queens for a Day (#1.3)" (2006)
Marc: Betty!
[takes picture of Betty on his cell phone]
Marc: I found my new screensaver!


"Ugly Betty: Punch Out (#1.19)" (2007)
Wilhelmina Slater: I thought there was a gag order against him.
Marc St. James: It should be. A red hat with his skin tone? I am gagging.


"Ugly Betty: The Sex Issue (#3.19)" (2009)
Marc St. James: Come on! He is totally hot! He looks like Taye Diggs.
Wilhelmina Slater: What is it with white people and Taye Diggs?