Amanda Tanen
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Quotes for
Amanda Tanen (Character)
from "Ugly Betty" (2006)

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"Ugly Betty: A League of Their Own (#2.5)" (2007)
Marc St. James: What is it girl? Someone fell down a well?
Amanda Tanen: Betty... internet dating... must mock...

Marc St. James: What, you think he's out of my league? He's a nine, I'm an eight.
Amanda Tanen: He's a ten, you're a six.
Marc St. James: You're a bitch, I'm a seven!

Amanda Tanen: [Betty is taking a picture to put on an online dating site] Head down, shoot from above, get those bangs to cover those caterpillars, and hide your chins by doing this
[puts both hands, touching at the fingertips, under her chin]
Amanda Tanen: , and for God's sake, lose the glasses.
Betty Suarez: Amanda, I wear glasses, I'm not gonna lie.
Amanda Tanen: Whatever, but guys don't make passes at girls who are fat.

Amanda Tanen: These are the shoes I borrowed.
Christina McKinney: You borrowed the Jimmy Choos. This is a sandwich.
Amanda Tanen: You usually don't open the box that fast. I'll be right back.
[hurries out of room]

Betty Suarez: [Betty checks her profile on a dating website] Christina, look! I have responses to my profile!
Christina McKinney: 15 of them! First one's from ILoveTacos.
Betty Suarez: I love tacos!
Christina McKinney: Then ILoveChurros.
Betty Suarez: I love churros!
Christina McKinney: Then ILoveTortillas.
Betty Suarez: [realizes all of these are fake] Amanda, you're not funny.
Amanda Tanen: [walks over] I'm a little funny.

Christina McKinney: Hey, there's one, NiceGuy47.
Betty Suarez: Ooh! It's a real one. "I'd love to go out with you; your profile says you love bowling, so if you have some 'spare' time..."
Christina McKinney, Betty Suarez: Aww!
Amanda Tanen: I don't get it.

"Ugly Betty: Fake Plastic Snow (#1.10)" (2006)
[Betty is leaving for a new job and Amanda is trying to get Betty's position as Daniel's assistant]
Betty Suarez: Amanda, look, I need to plan a Mode-worthy party for $500, get Daniel a new assistant and get Justin a signed photo of Lindsey Lohan in two days, I'm kinda busy!
Amanda: Well, today is like, your lucky day. Hire me. You know you wanna.
Betty Suarez: Are you serious? After what you and Daniel have been through?
Amanda: What is the very first thing I ever said to you?
Betty Suarez: [thinks] Are you the "before"?
Amanda: Ok, the second thing.
Betty Suarez: "Are-you-de-liv-er-ing-some-thing?"
Amanda: Whatever.

Amanda: What is the first thing I ever said to you?
Betty Suarez: Are you the 'before'?
Amanda: Okay, the second thing?
Betty Suarez: [gesturing in faux sign language] "Are you de-li-ver-ing something?
Amanda: Whatever

Amanda: Look around. We're a bunch of unstable, hungry, back-stabbing bitches. Do you really think anyone would sell us guns?

Amanda Tanen: Look around. We're a bunch of unstable, hungry, back-stabbing bitches. Do you really think anyone would sell us guns?

"Ugly Betty: Fey's Sleigh Ride (#1.4)" (2006)
Amanda Tanen: Have you been smoking one of your ponchos?

Betty Suarez: Oh, look, here's some of my friends.
Amanda Tanen: Just because we're sharing an elevator, doesn't mean we're friends.
Betty Suarez: Marc, Amanda, this is uh, Justin.
Marc St. James: Oh, so that's pregnancy weight!
[Amanda laughs]
Betty Suarez: Um, no, he's my nephew.
Justin Suarez: [looks down at Amanda's shoes] OH MY GOD! Manolo Blahniks Spring 2004!
Marc St. James: [gasps] Wearing two-year-old shoes! Even I didn't catch that.
[to Betty]
Marc St. James: Definitely not your son.

Amanda Tanen: Ho-la!
Ignacio Suarez: It's hola.
Amanda Tanen: No. There's a "H" in it.

Ignacio Suarez: Betty, maybe your guests would like... a snack? We have flan.
Amanda Tanen: What's a flan?
Ignacio Suarez: It's a delicious custard.
Amanda Tanen: Oh, BRING it!

"Ugly Betty: Pilot (#1.1)" (2006)
Amanda: Ah! She's so fabulously douchy.

[seeing Betty talking with Christina and two other less-than-attractive co-workers]
Marc St. James: Ooh. The bizarro version of Sex and The City.
Amanda: Stop it! I'm *gagging*!

Amanda Tanen: Hi. Are you the before?
Betty Suarez: Huh?
Amanda Tanen: Before and after? The photo shoot?
[Betty does not understand]
Amanda Tanen: Are you de-liv-er-ing some-thing?

"Ugly Betty: Secretaries Day (#1.21)" (2007)
Amanda Tanner: It's about to get nerd nasty.

Amanda Tanner: I've been de-wenched!

Marc St. James: Middle Ages is gonna be duh-licious. It's gonna be Britney shaving her head all over again!
Amanda Tanen: Oh, that was fun. But then it got sad.
Marc St. James: No, but then it got fun again!
Amanda Tanen: Promise you won't say anything to anyone?
Marc St. James: I swear on the abs of Mark Wahlberg.
Amanda Tanen: Wow, you are serious.
[Shows Mark her acting reel]
Marc St. James: Shut the front door! Your acting reel? Bring it!
[after watching Amanda's video]
Marc St. James: That was hi... wait for it... larious!

"Ugly Betty: The Kids Are Alright (#2.17)" (2008)
Amanda Tanen: Betty, we are so glad you finally found a rebound guy. You and Henry?
Marc St. James: Mismaaatch! One time, I saw him changing his shirt in the bathroom, and I wasn't staring, and I definitely did not take a picture, but for a nerd accountant? He has body kar-ate
[shows Amanda a picture on his phone]
Amanda Tanen: Ooo. But Gio smells like salami.
Marc St. James: And he's perfect for you!!

Amanda Tanen: Betty, Gio loves you!
Marc St. James: And that's a direct quote from a stall in the men's room.

"Ugly Betty: Bananas for Betty (#2.10)" (2007)
Amanda Tanen: You wait Pepper. You're gonna taste the wraith of my dog's vengeance.
Nick Pepper: You don't even know what "wraith" means.
Amanda Tanen: So. I know you'll taste it.

Amanda Tanen: [while having an argument] You are gay, right?
Nick Pepper: Only when it comes to you.

"Ugly Betty: Petra-Gate (#1.20)" (2007)
[Tavares and Amanda just had sex although Tavares is supposedly gay]
Amanda Tanen: Did I turn you straight? 'Cause I have been known to do that to guys, though usually the other way.
Tavares: No, I'm straight. Just in the closet.
Amanda Tanen: Oooh. The *straight closet*.

"Ugly Betty: I'm Coming Out (#1.14)" (2007)
Amanda: You're booking a cruise? You can't afford to cruise the bathroom on the seventeenth floor.
[to Marc, after she sees that he's checking out the Island Boys Cruise website]

"Ugly Betty: Derailed (#1.16)" (2007)
Amanda Tanen: Grow a pair, Bambi. You've been working here long enough. It is time to seize your inner Mode girl. Mode girls aren't the other woman, we are the only woman. Fight for your little dweeb. Find this chick's weakness and exploit it.
Betty Suarez: Maybe I'm just a bigger person than you.
Amanda Tanen: Well...
Betty Suarez: Don't; it's too obvious.

"Ugly Betty: Chica and the Man (#4.13)" (2010)
Betty Suarez: Hey Amanda, will you hold all my calls? Diego and Victoria are going to be here in 42 minutes and I need every last second to prepare for my interview.
Amanda Tanen: Okay calm down, Betty. Good things come to those who weigh less.

"Ugly Betty: Sofia's Choice (#1.12)" (2007)
Amanda: You showed up on a daily basis looking like a yard sale. Didn't even care. It's like you were genetically engineered without the fear gene. I gotta give you props. FYI, none of this means I like you or anything."
[when Betty was interviewing her for an MYW fish-out-of-water story]

"Ugly Betty: Betty's Wait Problem (#2.3)" (2007)
[Amanda is about to show Daniel the DNA test]
Amanda Tanen: You know, even if this does come out positive, it only makes us half brother and sister. So if we did it 20 times, it was only wrong 10.

"Ugly Betty: Queens for a Day (#1.3)" (2006)
Vincent Bianchi: How about Mrs. Rodriguez? Does she still teach there?
Amanda: I'm going to say... she died.

"Ugly Betty: Don't Ask, Don't Tell (#1.18)" (2007)
Mrs. Weiner: Hello, Amanda.
Amanda Tanen: Hi, Mamma Weiner.
Mrs. Weiner: Dear, I hate to be rude, but now that you've broken my little Mark's heart with, shall we say, your indiscretions, I think you should go back to Mrs. Weiner.
Amanda Tanen: Indiscretions?
Mrs. Weiner: Mark told me about the other men. And women. Drug addiction makes you do strange things, but Mark says your working on that - one day at a time.

"Ugly Betty: Lose the Boss? (#1.9)" (2006)
Betty Suarez: I don't think Daniel is going to go for a baby in chainlink.
Amanda Tanner: It's chainmail.
Betty Suarez: Whatever. If she tries to move, she's going to need first aid

"Ugly Betty: The Box and the Bunny (#1.2)" (2006)
Amanda Tanen: WHATEVER! I am still prettier.

"Ugly Betty: Crimes of Fashion (#3.3)" (2008)
Amanda Tanen: [on phone] If I can't pay my bill, then I can't pay my rent, and if I can't pay my rent, then how will you send me my bill? See, this is actually all for you!