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Quotes for
Deacon (Character)
from Waterworld (1995)

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Waterworld (1995)
Deacon: Don't just stand there, kill something!

Deacon: Well, I'll be damned. It's the gentleman guppy. You know, he's like a turd that won't flush.

Deacon: If I ever see him again, I'm going to cut open his head and eat his brain.

Deacon: Dry land is not just our destination, it is our destiny!

Deacon: Look, it's the gentleman guppy.

Deacon: He'll see what's left of you in a goddamn jar!

Deacon: Wanna cigarette? You're never too young to start.

Deacon: Let's have an intelligent conversation here: I'll talk, and you listen.

Deacon: If you'll notice the arterial nature of the blood coming from the hole in my head, you can assume that we're all having a real lousy day.

Deacon: I've had a vision so great, as it came to me I wept.

Depth Gauge: Sir? Your Deaconship? Good day! Or night. Whatever the case may be...
Deacon: What is it? I'm a busy man.
Depth Gauge: I thought you should know. There's exactly nine feet and four inches of THE BLACK STUFF...
[the Deacon spits on the Depth Gauge's head]
Depth Gauge: Oh, thank you!

[after painting a ball bearing in the Deacon's eye socket to look like a real one]
Deacon: Well? How's it look?
[the other smokers say, "not bad," "not bad at all", etc]
Doctor: I-I like it better than your real eye.
[One smoker says, "much better," to general agreement]
Deacon: What do you say, Toby? The truth.
Toby: Looks like shit.
Deacon: That's why I love children: no guile.
[after looking at his new eye in a mirror]
Deacon: It does look like shit.

[while holding Helen and the Mariner at gunpoint]
Deacon: All right, that's it! If you won't tell us where she is, let's just KILL 'EM ALL!
[He fires a gun into the air]
Enola: [popping up from her hiding place] NO!
Deacon: Ha-ha, so gullible!

Mariner: I want the girl.
Deacon: You know, I thought you were stupid, friend. But I underestimated you. You are a total freaking retard! Ha-ha-ha...
Mariner: I want the girl. That's all.
Deacon: Well, what on this screwed-up earth of ours makes you think you're gonna get her?
[the Mariner takes a flare from his belt, and holds it over a hole leading down to the Deez's fuel hold]
Mariner: You know what this is. I drop it, you burn.
Doctor: We all burn...
Deacon: Now-now-now, let's not do anything rash here. I mean, are you sure this kid is worth it? I mean, she never does stop talking, she never shuts up!
Mariner: I noticed.
Deacon: So what is it, then? It's the map.
Mariner: She's my friend.
Deacon: Golly gee, a single tear rolls down my cheek. You're gonna die for your friend.
Mariner: If it comes to that.
[He ignites the flare, and holds it over the hole again]
Nord: He's bluffing! I'll kill him.
Enola: He's not bluffing, he never bluffs.
Deacon: SHUT UP!
[to the Mariner]
Deacon: I-I-I-I-I don't think you're gonna drop that torch, my friend.
Mariner: Why not?
Deacon: Because you're not crazy.
[the Mariner smiles, lifts his hand, and drops the flare down the hole]
Deacon: NO-O-O-O-O!

Deacon: You know, I thought you were stupid, friend. But I underestimated you; you're a total freakin' retard!

[after the deck of the Deez clears, one lone figure walks toward the bridge]
Deacon: Why aren't you rowing?
[the Mariner removes his mask]
Nord: [laughs] It's him.
Enola: It is him! You guys are in so much trouble.

Nord: So which way we rowin'?
Deacon: I don't have a goddamn clue. Don't worry, they'll row for a month before they figure out I'm fakin' it.

Deacon: How 'bout a cigarette? Nothing like a good smoke when you miss your mom... Never too young to start...

Deacon: Maybe he doesn't answer to Chuck. Call him Charles.