Jacob Elinsky
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Quotes for
Jacob Elinsky (Character)
from 25th Hour (2002)

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25th Hour (2002)
Jakob Elinsky: What do we say to him?
Frank Slaughtery: We say nothin'. The guy's going to hell for seven years, what are going do wish him luck?

Jakob Elinsky: I kissed her.
Frank Slaughtery: You what?
Jakob Elinsky: My student. I, I kissed her.
Frank Slaughtery: Who are you trying to be... R. Kelly?

Jakob Elinsky: Jesus Christ!
Frank Slaughtery: Yeah.
Jakob Elinsky: Yeah, the New York Times says the air is bad down here.
Frank Slaughtery: Well, fuck the Times... I read the Post.
Frank Slaughtery: EPA says it's fine.
Jakob Elinsky: Well, somebody's lying.

Frank Slaughtery: You know what a man should never ask in a Victoria's Secret shop, Jake?
Jakob Elinsky: What?
Frank Slaughtery: "Does this come in children's sizes?"

Naturelle Riviera: What are you boys up to?
Jakob Elinsky: Frank's just flirting with the bartender.
Naturelle Riviera: Oh, yeah? What's the verdict?
Frank Slaughtery: Guilty of lookin' good.
Naturelle Riviera: She's just tits, Francis.
Frank Slaughtery: Oh, yeah? Did you see her ass? That girl's got a fine ass... I mean, she's oozing sex-appeal.
Naturelle Riviera: Yeah, she's oozing somethin'.
Frank Slaughtery: See that right there, that is so typical... that's what I'm talking about, Jake.
Frank Slaughtery: Why is it that a woman walks in a room with great tits, every other woman in the joint says that she's a slut? Why is that?
Naturelle Riviera: I have great tits, I'm not a slut.
Frank Slaughtery: Says you.

Mary D'Annunzio: I wanted to know why I got a B minus on my paper.
Jakob Elinsky: You got what you earned.
Mary D'Annunzio: Nobody else in that class can write! You know it! I know it! Everyone knows it!
Jakob Elinsky: Don't worry. You're not competing with them.
Mary D'Annunzio: Yeah. But I am. Okay. I am competing with them. When you apply for college, you might have heard of this, they look at these things called grades and if your grades aren't good enough...
Jakob Elinsky: Your grades are going to be fine.
Mary D'Annunzio: Vincent Phiscalla writes a story about his grandmother dying and you give him an A plus. And meanwhile, the night of the funeral, you wanna know where Rhodes Scholar Vince is? Getting smashed at a basketball party and slapping girls asses. I mean, what is that? A charity A+? You wanna know why everybody always writes about their grandmothers dying? It's not because it's so traumatic. It's because it's a guaranteed A+! And you sit there all sentimental "Oh, Vince it was very powerful, very moving." No, it wasn't. You didn't care. Nobody cared. That's what grandmothers do. They die!
Jakob Elinsky: Sometimes, guys have a hard time showing their emotions.
Mary D'Annunzio: So, slapping my ass is a way of mourning his dead grandmother?
Jakob Elinsky: [points to Mary's stomach] What did your mother say when you got that?
Mary D'Annunzio: Um, she said, "Where did you get the money for that?"
Jakob Elinsky: And?
Mary D'Annunzio: What did I say or did I get the money?
Jakob Elinsky: What did you say?
Mary D'Annunzio: I said, "He likes me."
Jakob Elinsky: Does he?
Mary D'Annunzio: No. Why do you care so much?
Jakob Elinsky: Just curious.
Mary D'Annunzio: So, you're not gonna change the grade?
Jakob Elinsky: No, I'm not going to change the grade.
Mary D'Annunzio: Great! You know what, this was a big waste of my time!
Jakob Elinsky: Wait!

Jakob Elinsky: [about the poem] To his coy mistress.
Mary D'Annunzio: Well, it's not real deep or anything. The guy wants to get laid and he's telling her to give it up.

Monty Brogan: [from deleted scene] Y'know, people think I was after the money... and I was in a way. I mean, let's face it, money gets you nice things. I like... Italian shoes and a fast car like anybody else, but I don't need 'em. It's not like I grew up poor. I wasn't chasing the money, I was chasing a feeling. What I hungered for... was *sway*.
Kostya Novotny: Sway... helps you make money. And money... helps you make sway. But sway is not money. *This* is sway.
Naturelle Riviera: Sway is walking into the Import Warehouse in Brooklyn... all the clothes from Europe straight off the boat, still wrapped in plastic... Gucci, Prada, YSL... You can pick out what you want... because everybody knows your boyfriend, and everyone owes him a favor.
Jakob Elinsky: Sway is walking into the best five-star restaurant in the city, without a reservation, and being seated... right away.
Frank Slaughtery: Sway? Ha ha ha. That's making a phone call in the morning, and having courtside seats, Madison Square Garden, that evening. Lakers vs. Knicks, Kobe and Shizzaq in the hizzouse!
Mary D'Annunzio: Sway is entering a club through the staff entrance, so you can skip the line, the cover charge... and the metal detector.
Monty Brogan: Sway is locking eyes with an undercover cop on the subway. You know what he is, and he knows what you are, and you *wink* at him... because he drives a battered Buick and you drive a vintage muscle car, and he can. Not. Touch. You. That, my friends, is sway.

Kostya Novotny: I pick her out special just for you.
Monty Brogan: The last girl you picked out special for me had three teeth, all in the back.
Kostya Novotny: Funny you should say that.
Monty Brogan: Why? Why is it funny I should say that?
Kostya Novotny: What you say, it was funny.
Monty Brogan: Kostya, you can't... when you...
Monty Brogan: It's an expression. If you say that...
Frank Slaughtery: It's a, uh, euphemism, right?
Monty Brogan: Can you explain this? You're the English teacher.
Jakob Elinsky: Uh...
Jakob Elinsky: I think what he means, Kostya, is that when you say, "Funny you should say that," that means that it reminds you of a funny story.
Monty Brogan: Exactly.
Kostya Novotny: No, no. It was funny what you say... "Funny you should say that."
Monty Brogan: It still makes no fucking sense. This is what I deal with.