Doug Whitmore
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Quotes for
Doug Whitmore (Character)
from 50 First Dates (2004)

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50 First Dates (2004)
Marlin: Doug, once again, off the juice.
Doug: It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake.

Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy?
Marlin: yea.
Henry: Doug, did you win the Mr. Hawaiian contest?
Doug: I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst.
Lucy: [to Henry] Did we have sex?
[Marlin and Doug look at Henry]
Henry: No, we didn't. Just so everyone knows
[Marlin and Doug turn away]
Henry: We want to!
[Marlin and Doug look again]
Henry: Just kidding.

Doug: [gives Henry a box] Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip.
Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
Doug: I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it?
Henry: Um, I guess.
[Doug grabs the box]
Marlin: Doug!

Dr. Keats: Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak.
Henry: Good. How's my temporal lobe looking there, Doc?
Dr. Keats: Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?
Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaciton. That's the 'roids talking.

Doug: [to Henry] Well, I may not able to kick your ath but my thithter thure can.

Doug: [flexing his pecs in the mirror] Hey Trathie, how you doin'? Yeah, well things changed thince high thcool.

Henry: Actually I'm going on a trip in a little while to study undersea Pacific walrus behaviors.
Doug: Thounds kind of fruity.
Henry: Thank you.
Doug: How long'th it going to take?
Henry: Uh... about a year.
Doug: I gueth you won't mith days like thith.
Henry: Well, maybe days like this don't have to be so bad.
Marlin: What are you trying to say?
Henry: Well, when you guys tell her, she's not just finding out about the accident. She's finding out that her life is basically a setup. I think that's what freaks her out the most.
Doug: Oh, you're an exthpert now?
Henry: No. I'm just saying I wish there was another way besides: "Sorry we couldn't trick you today. Here's some pictures of your broken head."
Doug: You wanna broken head, huh thmart guy?
Marlin: Why? You gonna give it to him?
Doug: No, Daddy, I thought you wath gonna do it.
Henry: Nobody's gotta break my head, guys. I'm gonna split anyways.
Marlin: [glaring at Doug] Don't go just 'cause my thon is thychotic.
Henry: Good night. Sweet dreams. Keep 'em dry there Doug.
Doug: Very funny.

Lucy, Doug: [sings] Happy birthday to you.
Lucy: [spoken] And you don't look a day over twenty five.
Marlin: Yeah, right. And Doug's muscles aren't pharmaceutically enhanced.
Doug: What are you talking about? I use a herb supplement that can be purchased at any health food store. Check this out. Check out these glutes. Rock hard, baby. Pretty sweet, huh.
Marlin: Stop it! You're gonna make me throw up on the cake.

Doug: [to Henry] Anything with Lucy is a one night stand, numb nuts.

Doug: Is this the guy?
Marlin: Yeah. Mr. Roth, I have one simple request. Stay away from my daughter.
Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] Absolutely. I just, I think I hurt her feelings and I don't want it to end like that.
Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this!
[Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]
Henry: Calm down, little fella!
Doug: I'm gonna kill you. You're a dead man. Okay I'm calm! I'm calm!
[pause]
Doug: I coulda whooped his ass, Daddy but this gravel - I siped on it a fwell.
Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.

Dr. Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom
Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.
Henry: Henry.
Marlin: Marlin.
Doug: Doug.
Lucy: Lucy.
Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them?
Doug: You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day...
Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.
Henry: Henry.
Ten Second Tom: Hi.
Marlin: Marlin.

[repeated line]
Doug: Check this out.

Lucy: [Marlin and Doug are watching the Vikings play the Lions] What's the score?
Marlin: Vikings have it at the two yard line.
Lucy: Maybe the Vikings will win for your birthday, and I'll bet Culpepper runs it in.
Doug: I'll bet he fakes the handoff to Williams and throws it Kleinsasser in the end zone. Loser does the dishes?
Lucy: You're on.
[Lucy and Doug handshake on it. Doug's prediction comes true]
Lucy: Darn. Maybe you should be a coach, Doug.
Marlin: [Throwing a shoe at Doug] Moron.