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: What do you mean he don't eat no meat?
[the entire room stops, in shock
] Aunt Voula
: Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.
: [to Ian's parents
] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal cord. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin.
: Nikki, how come you no come to curler my hairs this morning? Nikki
: Ma! I had to drop Dimos at work. And now, I gotta go open the travel agency, because, you know, some jag-off and his big-ass girlfriend are too busy. Angelo
: Ma! Tell her I open up the dry cleaners every day, and I think it's about time she did something for a change. Nikki
: Excuse me? Do you know who's at the dry cleaner this morning? My husband is at the dry cleaner! Angelo
: You're always at the beauty parlor, with your nails and your hair and everything. Nikki
: Don't you talk about my hair! You are so lazy! You and your big-ass girlfriend do nothing! Angelo
: Did somebody sit on your hair? I mean, it looks a little flat there. Nikki
: Angelo... bite me! Aunt Voula
: Disgusting! Be a lady!
: We must let Kosta think this was his idea. Aunt Voula
: All right, I know. Maria Portokalos
: That he came up with it. Aunt Voula
: All right. Toula Portokalos
: Ma, he's gonna figure it out. Maria Portokalos
: Don't you worry. Aunt Voula
: Okay, I know what to do you. Maria Portokalos
: You don't know what to do. You talk, talk, talk, all the time! Aunt Voula
: Do you want my help? Maria Portokalos
: Yes, I want your help! Aunt Voula
: Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say. Maria Portokalos
: Toula. Toula! You're engaged. You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you. Never. *Never.* Taki, didn't we say that... Uncle Taki
: We never think this day would come. Never
: [Watching Ian dance at the reception
] Oh, Taki... he looks Greek.
: [after Taki suggests that Toula is okay
] What ok? She no Ok! Athena is married with three children!
: Anyways, I tell her I will send her to Greece to find somebody. Uncle Taki
: She not too old. In Greece you don't tell anybody how old she is! Aunt Voula
: Ah, there you go! Gus Portokalos
: She don't want to go! Uncle Taki
, Aunt Voula
] She don't want to go? Gus Portokalos
: No! It's like, it's like she don't want to get married!
[He crosses himself
] Uncle Taki
, Aunt Voula
: [Crossing themselves
] No, No, No!
: Ian, I'm Aunt Voula. Let me touch your hair. Oh, oh oh. Toula Portokalos
: Umm Aunt Voula. Aunt Voula
: Ok Ok. Why don't you come to my house and I cook for you Toula Portokalos
: That may be a problem. Aunt Voula
: Why it a problem? Don't you tell him I'm the best cook in the family? Toula Portokalos
: Oh, I did. Ian Miller
] Toula Portokalos
: Ian is a vegetarian. He doesn't eat meat. Aunt Voula
: He don't eat no meat? Toula Portokalos
: No, he doesn't eat meat. Aunt Voula
: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DON'T EAT NO MEAT?
[the room goes silent
] Aunt Voula
: Oh that's ok, That's ok, I make lamb!
: Remember, Paris, protect the poulaki - eyes open knees shut! Aunt Voula
: [to Maria
] If your knees are open, shut your eyes.
: [to Toula
] You're welcome. Shave everything. EVERYTHING. Ooh!
: Stop trying to fix everything. You baby your parents because you can't parent your baby no more.
: He's your partner? Or your partner? Angelo
: He's both.