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: Do you know what happens if my mother uses a fabric softener? Wednesday
: What? Joel
: I die.
: Yes, indeedy, just the ticket: "Bambi." Becky
: "Lassie Come Home." Gary
: "The Little Mermaid." Wednesday
: Stop it! Joel
: [motioning to Pugsley
] He's only a child.
: What are you in for? Joel
: I wouldn't go horseback riding. Wednesday
: That's all? Joel
: And I wouldn't make a bird house. Wednesday
: Why not? Joel
: I just wanted to read. Gary
: [Pops in and takes Joel's book
] Not on my time, four eyes. Ha ha ha ha ha!
: [he is dressed like Gomez
] How do I look? Wednesday
: I'll never forget you. Wednesday
: You won't? Joel
: You're too weird.
: Poor Debbie. She was sick. Wednesday
: She wasn't sick. She was sloppy. Joel
: What do you mean? Wednesday
: If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught. Joel
: How? Wednesday
: I'd scare him to death. Joel
: No, you wouldn't.
[kneels at Debbie's grave
: We're all very sorry, Debbie. We wish you only the best.
[reaches out to put flowers on the grave; a hand reaches up and grabs him. He screams while Wednesday smiles
: [to Wednesday and Pugsley
] Look at this. I got 'em. "Schizos and Serial Killers". I have almost the whole series. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac Guy.
: Cara mia. Wednesday
: Mon cher.
: Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids? Wednesday
: No. Joel
: But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do? Wednesday
: I'd pity him.
: [Wednesday catches Debbie's wedding bouquet
] Now you have to get married. Wednesday
: It's not binding. Cousin Ophelia
: Hurry up! Pugsley
: I'm coming. Joel
: Wait! Wednesday
: Who's there? Joel
: Be careful. Tetanus.
: [walking toward Wednesday, Pugsley and Joel with Gary, Becky and Camp Children
] There they are! I saw them sneak out. Gary
: Children, what do you think you're doing? Wednesday
: We have to see our family. It's very important. Becky
: More important than a summer of fun? More important than making new friends? More important than sharing? Gary
: And Joel Glicker. I'm surprised at you. Joel
: I-I have to get out of here. I have allergies. Becky
] Oh, you're allergic? To sunshine and archery and crafts? Joel
: Yes. Amanda
: I think they should be punished.
: Punish! Camp Children
: [chanting along with Amanda
] Punish! Punish! Punish! Punish! Punish! Punish! Becky
: No! No! We are *not* here to punish. We are here to inspire. Gary
: Campers? Do you know what I think are little ninja friends here need? Do you know what just might turn their sad and potentially wasted little lives right all around? Joel
: What? Camp Children
: [singing in unison with Gary, Becky, and Amanda
] Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya. Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya. Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya. Oh Lord, kumbaya.