Nicky Flippers
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Quotes for
Nicky Flippers (Character)
from Hoodwinked! (2005)

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Hoodwinked! (2005)
[Flippers has shown up uninvited]
Chief Grizzly: Nicky Flippers? What are you doing here? This is *my* case!
Nicky Flippers: Well, someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave. I saw the lights, thought the circus was in town.
[eyes the four detainees]
Nicky Flippers: Now of course, I see I was right.
Chief Grizzly: Well you're too late, Nicky, I've got this case wrapped up nice and tight.
Nicky Flippers: Is that right?
Chief Grizzly: Yeah.
Red Puckett: They've got this all wrong, Mr. Flippers.
[Flippers turns to Red]
Nicky Flippers: Oh, I don't know. You look pretty dangerous to me. What's your name?
Red Puckett: Red.
Nicky Flippers: And why do they call you that?
Red Puckett: Why do they call you "Flippers"?
Nicky Flippers: [Cuts to Flippers on the dance floor at a disco club in a flashy white suit. As the crowd chants "Go Flippers!" in the background, he does a backflip and lands in a splitz] Uh, no reason.
Red Puckett: They call me "Red" because of this red hood I wear.
Nicky Flippers: What about when you're not wearing it?
[beat]
Red Puckett: I usually wear it.

Granny: [Granny has just revealed that she is an extreme sports athlete] Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
Red Puckett: I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the Bandit?
[beat]
Det. Bill Stork: Awkward!
[awkwardly side slips his way out of the room]
Granny: You're being ridiculous, Red.
Red Puckett: *I'm* being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?
Tommy: I, have a...
Nicky Flippers: Coffee break, anyone?
Chief Grizzly: Uh, yeah.
Det. Bill Stork: Whose got my keys?
Raccoon Jerry: You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?
Chief Grizzly: Excuse us.
[Everyone except Red and Granny files out of the room]
Granny: I thought you were happy.
Red Puckett: Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?
Granny: Of course you do. You're a Puckett.
Red Puckett: [sighs] I don't know what that means anymore.

Nicky Flippers: What do you do for a living, Mr. Wolf?
The Wolf: I'm a shepherd.

[last lines]
Red: Mr. Flippers!
Nicky Flippers: I see you all got my message. Glad you could make it.
Granny: What's going on?
Nicky Flippers: Well, I was wondering if you'd like to come and work for me? I could use some fresh talent like you.
The Wolf: What kind of work are we talking about?
Nicky Flippers: You'd be under cover, on impossible missions, to far away places. There's a lot of stories out there that need a happy ending. I'm part of a secret organization that makes sure that happens.
Red: "Happily Ever After Agency"?
Nicky Flippers: The woods don't go 'round by themselves.
Twitchy: [talking very fast] Yeah! Alright! Okay we fight the bad guys, we ride the ski boats, climb the walls, and swing the windows secret agent style. Right! Yeah!
Nicky Flippers: So what do you think?
Granny: Bring it honey!
Red: I always did like happy endings.

Nicky Flippers: It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake.
[walks past dog typing notes]
Nicky Flippers: Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth.
The Wolf: The Goody Bandit
Nicky Flippers: That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit.
The Woodsman: Not my finger!
[quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it]
Nicky Flippers: Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home.
[the Woodsman starts spluttering]
Nicky Flippers: Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you?
The Woodsman: But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that?
Nicky Flippers: Thats right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right Granny?
Granny: Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious.
The Woodsman: Huh?
Nicky Flippers: A woman like you could have a lot to gain stealing all those recipes.
Chief Grizzly: And that's how she makes her goodies so good! Eh?
Nicky Flippers: Or she could just be another victim... of a hungry Wolf
The Wolf: Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.
Nicky Flippers: Why should we trust someone who wears disguises for a living?
Chief Grizzly: Maybe he's not a wolf at all!
The Wolf: You got me. I'm a poodle. I just haven't been to the barbershop in a long time.
Chief Grizzly: Is this all just a big joke to you?
The Wolf: I just followed the girl here.
Granny: You leave my granddaughter alone!
Nicky Flippers: Yes, now we get to Little Red, the girl with the basket on the run.
[camera points to empty chair]
Nicky Flippers: Where is she anyway?

Nicky Flippers: So! Mr. Wolf... May I call you Wolf?
The Wolf: You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers.
Chief Grizzly: Quit playing around, Wolf! You're looking at 3 to 5 in an old shoe with no windows, SO START SINGIN'!

Chief Grizzly: Am I gonna get to put the cuffs on someone or WHAT?
Nicky Flippers: Ah, remember Ted, pieces of the puzzle make funny shapes, but they still fit together in the end.
Chief Grizzly: Boy, you're just full o' those, aren'tcha?

Nicky Flippers: I wanna know more about this fellow with the axe. How does he fit into all this?
Det. Bill Stork: Maybe you should AXE him yourself! Ha ha ha ha haaa ha haaa! You-haha-see haa ha haaa! Axe-haaa ha ha! He he hee...
Chief Grizzly: [Stares blankly at Bill]
Det. Bill Stork: [glumly] I'll bring him in.

[Red has just explained how she escaped the Wolf]
Chief Grizzly: Yep, that settles it. We've got our bandit.
Nicky Flippers: Ah, could be. I'd like to count my chickens after they hatch.
Tommy: [oinks] Chickens?
Red Puckett: You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping kids in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy!
Nicky Flippers: Yes, right. But we don't arrest people for being creepy.
Tommy: [on radio] Yeah Bruce, you know that guy we got in the tank?
Bruce: Uh... the creepy one?
Tommy: Yeah, better let him go.
Nicky Flippers: [to Red] So you went on to Granny's?
Red Puckett: I found an old trail up the north side of the mountain.

Nicky Flippers: [to The Woodsman] I think it's safe to say that our thespian friend here knows the least about anything of anyone in this room.

Nicky Flippers: [talking to Granny] What are you hiding, old girl?

Nicky Flippers: [preparing to question Red, whose hands are still in cuffs] What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists can slip right out. How about a cage?
Det. Bill Stork: [on radio, eager] Bring in the cage!
Nicky Flippers: I was being sarcastic.
Det. Bill Stork: [resigned, into radio] Sarcasm. Strike the cage...

Nicky Flippers: [Twitchy runs across the road, causing Chief Grizzly to swerve before straightening up the car again] Who taught you how to drive?
Chief Grizzly: Almost hit a squirrel

Chief Grizzly: [to the Wolf, after he tells his side] You got a way to back this up?
Twitchy: [appears] I got these pictures developed, Mr. Flippers!
Nicky Flippers: That so? Let's have a look...
[examines photos]
Nicky Flippers: Hmmm... these are good... Ha...
[shows picture of Wolf mounted in fish costume]
Nicky Flippers: Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.
The Wolf: Grrph...
Twitchy: I wanna do an expose' sometime; a gallery show. And maybe a coffee table book, 'course, I don't drink coffee. Maybe a china tea/latte book.
Nicky Flippers: Photos don't lie, Chief.
The Wolf: Good work, Twitchy.
Chief Grizzly: Grrph!

[first lines]
Nicky Flippers: [narrating] Red Riding Hood, you probably know the story.
[girl screaming]
Nicky Flippers: But there's more to every tale than meets the eye. It's just like they always say, you can't judge a book by its cover. If you want to know the truth, you've gotta flip through the pages.

Nicky Flippers: And bring in a police sketch artist. No, make it a cartoonist.

Nicky Flippers: Well! Someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave.