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: whats all the stuff in the attic? Mikey
: It has something to do with my dad being the assistant curly, curny. Brandon Walsh
: [smacking Mikey on the back of the head
] Curator. Mikey
: That's what I said.
: It was a retropactum! Brandon Walsh
: Retrospective! Mikey
: See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects! Chunk
: Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies. Mouth
: I'm not a reject! Mikey
: Take that stuff off, you'll get me in trouble
: Now tell me where your other little friends are. Chunk
] The fireplace. Mama Fratelli
: Don't lie to me! Chunk
: Honest. We went over to Mikey's dads place and we found this map that said that underneath this place there's buried treasure. Jake Fratelli
: Come on, don't give us none of your bullshit stories huh?
[the Fratellis are interrogating Chunk
] Francis Fratelli
: [grabs Chunk by the throat
] Hey, kid! I want you to spill your guts, tell us everything! Chunk
: Everything? Francis Fratelli
: *Everything*. Chunk
] Everything. OK, I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out!
: ...but the worst thing I ever done: I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. And I never felt so bad in my entire life! Jake Fratelli
] I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma! Mama Fratelli
: [tired of Chunk's stalling
] Hit puree!
[Brand and Andy are about to kiss after falling down
: Shame, shame! Data
: I know your name! Mouth
: Come on, Brand! Slip her the tongue! Stef
: Oh, that's disgusting. Now I can't even look.
: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw! Mikey
: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom. Brandon Walsh
: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right? Mouth
: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right? Chunk
: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It's dinnertime. Why don't we go home? Mikey
: Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain't gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We've got to.
[Chunk drinks from a water cooler while the others try to figure out how to get through the floor
: I've got an idea. Why don't we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through? Chunk
: Okay, Mouth. I've taken all I can stand... and I can't stand no more!
[Chunk steps towards Mouth, knocks over the cooler, and tries to right it
: I got it! I got it! I got it!
[Chunk rights the cooler, but the bottle falls off and breaks
: I don't got it. Everyone else
: You klutz! Chunk
: Hope it's not a deposit bottle!
[Chunk looks at the map
: Sixteen thirty-two. What is that? A year? Mouth
: No, it's your top score on Pole Position.
: Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in. Mama Fratelli
: Why not? Chunk
: Because they might have daddy longlegs and um... dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!
: [with potato chips in his mouth
] You think your Mom's gonna notice? Mikey
: What? Chunk
: [more clearly
] Do you think your Mom is going to notice? Notice that the statue's penis is missing. Mikey
: I wonder if she'll notice. Chunk
: That's what I said! Mikey
: Well, of course she'll notice. She notices everything.
: I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life! Mouth
: First you gotta do the truffle shuffle.
: Look at this. They've got Misissippi Mud and they've got Chocolate Eruption and they've got what?
: It's a stiff.
[Everyone screams and drops the dead body
: Ah, Shit!
: Hello, Sheriff's Office? I'd like to report a murder! Sheriff
: Hold on, hold on a minute. Is that you again, Lawrence? Chunk
: Listen, Sheriff, I know I've jerked you around before, but this is for real now. I'm in the Fratellis' basement, with this guy... Sloth
: Rocky Road? Heh Heh! Sheriff
: Yeah, like that time you told me about the fifty Iranian terrorists who took over all the Sizzler steakhouses in the city? Chunk
: Sloth, get back here! Sloth! Sheriff
: Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water on them?
[as Chunk follows Sloth, the phone cord rips out of the wall. The Sheriff hears a dial tone
: [Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone and Chunk grabs the statue of Michaelangelo's David
] Hey! I bet you guys think I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol Chunk
[Places the statue on the table and it falls off
] Brandon Walsh
: You Idiot! Mikey
: Oh my god!
[runs over and picks up the statue
: Look look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha! Mikey
: [sees that the statue's penis has broken off
] Oh my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
[tries to put it back on
: Oh my god. Mouth
: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't. Mikey
: Shut up Mouth! Brandon Walsh
: Shut up Mouth.
[Chunk is running toward the road in the dead of night to find help
: I'm not all alone in the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark.
[He ducks and crawls under a tree branch
: But I hate nature! I HATE nature!
[Chunk and Sloth are chained up together
: Hey, mister? Are you hungry? I got a Baby Ruth. Sloth
: Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth! Chunk
: Here you go.
[Chunk tosses the candy bar to Sloth and it hits him in the head. Both scream
: I'm sorry, mister! I'm sorry!
[Sloth rips his chains out of the wall and goes to pick up the candy bar. Then, he realizes he's free
: Gee, mister. You're even hungrier than I am.
: I smell ice cream.
: You guys, I'm hungry. I know when my stomach growls there's trouble.
: [they hear a deep growling sound coming from behind a large, metal door
] ... Chunk, I hope that was your stomach. Mikey
: No. That's the 'It.' Chunk
: Sounds like Kong.
: [the cave is falling down, the goonies are escaping with the help of Sloth
] Sloth! Come on! Sloth
: Sloth love Chunk! Chunk
: I love you too and you're going to get crushed! Sloth
: [after Sloth kisses him
] Man! You smell like Phys Ed!
[Chunk and Sloth come across the out-of-control pipes
: Yeah. Mikey's been through here, all right.
[Sloth grabs some pipes and pushes them up. He hears a car crash, a woman scream and sirens
[Chunk finds the Fratellis' Cherokee
: ORV. Bullet holes. Bullet holes?
: Look, how's that? How's that? Mikey
: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down! Brandon Walsh
: You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces! Chunk
: Looks fine to me.
[about to leave, Irene stops and notices something in the living room
] Irene Walsh
: What is that? Chunk
: [thinking she's seen the statue
] Oh, shit!
: What? Irene Walsh
: *What* is *that*?
[Chunk sees she's pointing to some crumbs on the floor
] Irene Walsh
: That is a mess! I want it picked up now, boys! Chunk
] Oh, sure! Sure!
: [Chunk finds a Pepsi-Cola cooler out the restaurant
] Soda pop! Oh! Boy. I am thirsty. Chunk
: [the Pespi-Cola cooler is empty
] Damn it!
[Chunk slams the lid