Michael 'Mikey' Walsh
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Quotes for
Michael 'Mikey' Walsh (Character)
from The Goonies (1985)

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The Goonies (1985)
[Mikey calls for a bathroom break]
Mikey: Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.
[Brandon heads to a different cave]
Mikey: Brand, where're you going?
Brandon Walsh: This is the *men's* room.

Chunk: whats all the stuff in the attic?
Mikey: It has something to do with my dad being the assistant curly, curny.
Brandon Walsh: [smacking Mikey on the back of the head] Curator.
Mikey: That's what I said.

Mikey: It was a retropactum!
Brandon Walsh: Retrospective!
Mikey: See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!
Chunk: Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies.
Mouth: I'm not a reject!
Mikey: Take that stuff off, you'll get me in trouble

Brandon Walsh: [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.
Mouth: No pen. No write. No sign!
Mikey: No dad don't sign it!
[Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]
Mikey: Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!
Irving Walsh: [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.

Harriet Walsh: [Sirens wailing] Where are my boys?
Harriet Walsh, Irving Walsh: Mikey? Brand?
Mikey: Hi mom. Hi dad. I guess we're in big shit now right?

[last lines]
Mikey: Bye, Willy. Thanks.

Data: Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?
Mikey: No.
Mouth: Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.
Data: Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.
Mikey: You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.
Brandon Walsh: Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.
Mikey: That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.

Mikey: Goonies never say die!

Richard 'Data' Wang: Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes!
Mikey, Mouth: [together] Slick shoes? ARE YOU CRAZY?
Andy: DATA!
Francis Fratelli: [Jake tries to push Francis over the log] DON'T PUSH JAKE!
Jake Fratelli: I'm not pushing Francis now hurry up!
Mama Fratelli: [after Francis slips and falls on his crotch] Francis sweetheart are you okay?
Francis Fratelli: [High pitched voice] NOOOOOOO!

Andy: I can't tell... if it's an "A sharp" or if it's a "B flat"!
Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B flat!"

Mikey: Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.

Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.

Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It's dinnertime. Why don't we go home?
Mikey: Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain't gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We've got to.

[the Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well]
Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
Data: Why?
Mikey: Why?
Stef: Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

Mikey: [the kids are arguing] Stop! We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor.
Brandon Walsh: Lowest point nothing, Mikey. Now let's go!

Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
[lifts up Willie's patch]
Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
[takes a breath from his breathalizer]
Mikey: We had a long comment, huh, Willie? You know something, Willie? You're the first Goonie.
[the rest of the Goonies show up]
Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon Walsh: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.

Mama Fratelli: Four waters. Is that all?
Mouth, Mikey: [everyone else says yes]
Mouth: No! I want the veal scalopini.
Mikey: Shut up Mouth.
Mouth: I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981.
Mouth: [makes a kissing sound with his fingers]
Mama Fratelli: [grabs Mouth by the chin and puts a knife to his tongue] The only thing we serve is tongue. Do you boys like tongue?
Mouth, Mikey: [others say no]
Mama Fratelli: That's all? Sit down!

Stef: [Seeing a cannon ball rolling around a track] What the hell is that?
Mikey: It's another one of Willy's tricks. Get out of the way!

Mikey: I swear on my life! They've got an... an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!' When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and, and...
Brandon Walsh: Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.

Chunk: [with potato chips in his mouth] You think your Mom's gonna notice?
Mikey: What?
Chunk: [more clearly] Do you think your Mom is going to notice? Notice that the statue's penis is missing.
Mikey: I wonder if she'll notice.
Chunk: That's what I said!
Mikey: Well, of course she'll notice. She notices everything.

Mikey: What are you doing? It took him 376 lawn jobs to get that bike! That's his most favorite thing in the world!
Mouth: Now it's his most flattest thing in the world. Let's go!

Chunk: [Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone and Chunk grabs the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys think I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol Chunk
[Places the statue on the table and it falls off]
Brandon Walsh: You Idiot!
Mikey: Oh my god!
[runs over and picks up the statue]
Chunk: Look look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!
Mikey: [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
[tries to put it back on]
Chunk: Oh my god.
Mouth: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Mikey: Shut up Mouth!
Brandon Walsh: Shut up Mouth.

Andy: Do you think there's really any treasure here?
Mikey: Andy this whole ship is a treasure.

[while trying to escape the crumbling cave]
Mikey: What about the loot?
Brandon Walsh: What about our lives?

Mikey: [to Andy after she hits a wrong note on the piano] It's OK, you're a Goonie and Goonies always make mistakes... just don't make any more.

Stef: [they hear a deep growling sound coming from behind a large, metal door] ... Chunk, I hope that was your stomach.
Mikey: No. That's the 'It.'
Chunk: Sounds like Kong.

Richard 'Data' Wang: [Falls through to ship's hold; group of Goonies ask if he's okay] Data's okay! Data's quite tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons!
Brandon Walsh: Why didn't you use the stairs?
Richard 'Data' Wang: Use the stairs! Stairs! The stupid guys tell me to use the stairs when Data's falling. If Data's hurt, nobody cares anymore...
Mikey: [walks down the stairs] Data's okay...
Richard 'Data' Wang: Then some guy tells me I have stupid inventions. I've been spending months and months studying on them and inventing them. God!

Mikey: Sorry, Dad, we had our hands on the future, but we gave it up just to save our own lives.

Chunk: Look, how's that? How's that?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!
Brandon Walsh: You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.

Mikey: Let's...
Andy: -get out of...
Richard 'Data' Wang: -here!
Stef: Like now!