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[at the pool
: Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire. Anything you need, just put on my tab, okay? Mrs. Doubtfire
: Oh, thank you, dear.
] Mrs. Doubtfire
: Touch me again, and I'll drown you.
: Can you help me with something, I found this outside.
[holds up Mercedes hood ornament
: Uh, yes, this is off my, uh, Mercedes. Mrs. Doubtfire
: Off your Mercedes, dear, you own that big expensive car out there? Oh, dear. Well, they say a man who has to buy a big car like that is trying to compensate for smaller genitals.
: [about Daniel
] What can I say, Ron? The guy's a loser. See ya. Mrs. Doubtfire
: Loser? Oh, yeah.
[Takes a lime and throws it at Stu's head. Stu looks back, angry
] Mrs. Doubtfire
: Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting. I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.
: Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics? Stu
: Mrs. Doubtfire, please. Mrs. Doubtfire
: Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.
: Smoking or non-smoking? Stu
: Non-smoking. Mrs. Doubtfire
: [asking the family if they'd like to go in the pool
] How about you, Mrs. Doubtfire? Mrs. Doubtfire
: Oh, you wicked, wicked man! Isn't there enough flesh here to feast your eyes on? Stu
: Oh, come now, Mrs. Doubtfire, don't be bashful. Mrs. Doubtfire
: Oh, no, dear. I think they've outlawed whaling.
: People change, Ron. I'm pushing 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life by myself. Ron
: She's got an awful lot of baggage, though. Three kids? Stu
: Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about them, especially that little Natalie. Look at her. She's a sweetie pie. God knows they need some kind of stable father figure in their life right now. Ron
: What about their real father? Stu
: What can I say, Ron? The guy's a loser.