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Quotes for
Stu (Character)
from Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

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Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
[at the pool]
Stu: Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire. Anything you need, just put on my tab, okay?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, thank you, dear.
[Stu leaves]
Mrs. Doubtfire: Touch me again, and I'll drown you.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Can you help me with something, I found this outside.
[holds up Mercedes hood ornament]
Stu: Uh, yes, this is off my, uh, Mercedes.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Off your Mercedes, dear, you own that big expensive car out there? Oh, dear. Well, they say a man who has to buy a big car like that is trying to compensate for smaller genitals.

Stu: [about Daniel] What can I say, Ron? The guy's a loser. See ya.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Loser? Oh, yeah.
[Takes a lime and throws it at Stu's head. Stu looks back, angry]
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting. I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Sink the sub. Hide the weasel. Park the porpoise. A bit of the old Humpty Dumpty, Little Jack Horny, the Horizontal Mambo, hmm? The Bone Dancer, Rumpleforeskin, Baloney Bop, a bit of the old Cunning Linguistics?
Stu: Mrs. Doubtfire, please.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.

Maitre D': Smoking or non-smoking?
Stu: Non-smoking.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Smoking!

Stu: [asking the family if they'd like to go in the pool] How about you, Mrs. Doubtfire?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, you wicked, wicked man! Isn't there enough flesh here to feast your eyes on?
Stu: Oh, come now, Mrs. Doubtfire, don't be bashful.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, no, dear. I think they've outlawed whaling.

Stu: People change, Ron. I'm pushing 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life by myself.
Ron: She's got an awful lot of baggage, though. Three kids?
Stu: Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about them, especially that little Natalie. Look at her. She's a sweetie pie. God knows they need some kind of stable father figure in their life right now.
Ron: What about their real father?
Stu: What can I say, Ron? The guy's a loser.