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Quotes for
Albert (Character)
from Look Who's Talking (1989)

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Look Who's Talking (1989)
James: Okay, if you're the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. What's Mikey's favorite cereal?
Albert: I don't know.
James: Cheerios. How many diapers does he go through a day? About six. Who's his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson. Don't you think a father should know some of these things?
Albert: Okay how much is she paying you? 5 dollars an hour?
[Gives James a 20]
Albert: Here go play some video games.
James: Don't give me that shit.
[They start fighting]

Albert: I know this may be hard to understand, but I'm going through a selfish phase right now.
Mollie: A selfish phase?
Albert: I admit the timing is bad.

Albert: He has my eyes.
Mollie: I know he does. You don't know how confusing it is when someone you love so much looks like someone you hate.

[Molly's dream]
Albert: Beth has finally agreed to a divorce. Oh, Mollie I'm so glad you waited.
Mollie: [greatly aged] I knew that if I was patient, this day would come.

Mollie: If we ever got back together I'm afraid I would have to torture you for the rest of your life.
Albert: Oh, that's okay. I want you to.

Albert: [sees Mikey making a face] Is he taking a dump?
Mollie: No, he's thinking real hard!

Albert: I've raised my kids.
Mollie: Raised them? They're 11 and 9. Don't tell me they've moved out and gotten jobs already!

Albert: Do you have a picture of Mickey?
[she is impatient at Albert getting their son's name wrong more than once]
Mollie: MIKEY!

Mollie: [Albert is feeling up Mollie's leg] Al-Albert, stop. Albert, I can't do this anymore.
Albert: Mollie, I love you, and you love me. I know you do.
Mollie: Of course I love you, Albert. You're a wonderful father. You're great in bed, and you're my biggest account. But you're married. And I will never fall in love with anyone else as long as I'm seeing you, so think you should just work with a different accountant.

Mollie: My doctor says my breathing's fine.
Albert: You have to do what's best for the baby. When Beth was pregnant...
Mollie: Oh I am so SICK of hearing about Beth! Beth Beth Beth Beth! I'm having a hard time figuring out how you could be in love with her and then in love with someone like me. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to make out a will, when Beth had the girls she got a reading of their past lives!

Albert: Oh God, Mollie, I'm going to burst if you don't kiss me.
Mollie: Tough.