The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb! Schwartz
: That's 'cause you know it'll stick! Flick
: You're full of it! Schwartz
: Oh yeah? Flick
: Yeah! Schwartz
: Well I double-DOG-dare ya! Ralphie as Adult
] NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare you"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare. Schwartz
: I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya! Ralphie as Adult
] Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!
: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya. Flick
: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything? Schwartz
: He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off. Randy
: [is trying to catch up
] C'mon, guys! Wait up! C'mon, guys! Wait up!
: [gets on the phone
] Hello, Mrs. Schwartz? Yes, I'm fine. Uh, Mrs. Schwartz, do you know what Ralph just said?
[Mrs. Schwartz's speech is inaudible
: No, he said...
[whispers it close to the receiver
] Mrs. Schwartz
: [in a hysterical tone
] NO, NOT THAT! Mother
: Yes, that! Do you know where he heard it? Mrs. Schwartz
: Probably from his father. Mother
: No! He heard it from your son! Mrs. Schwartz
: [screams hysterically
] WHAT! WHAT! WHAAAAAAT!
[footsteps are heard followed by screaming and spanking
] Ah, no! What did I do, Ma? What, I didn't do nothing! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!
[Ralphie's mom hangs up the phone
] Ralphie as Adult
] Another shot of mysterious, inexorable, official justice.