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Quotes for
Randy Parker (Character)
from A Christmas Story (1983)

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A Christmas Story (1983)
[overdressed for winter]
Randy: I can't put my arms down!
Mother: Well... put your arms down when you get to school.

Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it'll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.
Flick: Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything?
Schwartz: He knows, because he once saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet, and the fire department had to come get the guy's tongue off the track, because he couldn't get it off.
Randy: [is trying to catch up] C'mon, guys! Wait up! C'mon, guys! Wait up!

Mother: Randy? What's wrong? Whatcha cryin' for?
Randy: Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!
Mother: No he's not...
Randy: Yes he is!
Mother: No, I promise, Daddy is not going to kill Ralphie!

Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double-beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.
The Old Man: All right, I'll get that kid to eat. Where's my screw driver and my plumber's helper? I'll open up his mouth and I'll shove it in.

Mrs. Parker: Randy, will you eat? There are starving people in China!
Randy: [groans and shoves spoon into his mouth]

Mother: Randy, how do the little piggies go?
Randy: [oinks like a pig]
Mother: That's right. Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat.
[points to his plate]
Mother: This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat. Be a good boy. Show mommy how the piggies eat.
Randy: [plunges face into mashed potatoes, oinks, eats, and laughs]
Mother: [laughs] Mommy's little piggie!

Ralphie: Hey Dad! I bet you never guess what I got you for Christmas!
The Old Man: [staring blissfully into space] A new furnace?
Ralphie: [chuckling] He he, that's a good one Dad!
Randy: [lauging] He he he!
Ralphie as Adult: My old man was one of the most feared furnace fighters in Northern Indiana.


It Runs in the Family (1994)
Randy Parker: I wanna go on the rides, I wanna go on the rides, I wanna go on the rides.
The Old Man: You'll just get sick again.
Randy Parker: I wanna get sick, I wanna get sick, I wanna get sick.


Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss (1988) (TV)
[Randy desperately has to go to the bathroom]
Randy: [whining] Mom, I can't undo my knot; I have to go!
Ralph's Mother: Ralph, would you help your brother?
Ralph: For crying out loud! OK, runt, let's go!