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Quotes for
Luigi (Character)
from Super Mario Bros. (1993)

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Super Mario Bros. (1993)
Mario: How we gonna get in there? I got two words for you: Im-possible.
Luigi: Nothing's impossible, Mario. Improbable, Unlikely, but never impossible.
Mario: I hope you're right.

Mario: [looks at a newspaper] Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!
Luigi: Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.
Mario: Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.
Luigi: Well, you don't know. It could happen.
Mario: [laughs] How could that possibly happen?
Luigi: Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!

Sergeant Simon: Name.
Mario: Mario.
Sergeant Simon: Last name.
Mario: Mario.
Sergeant Simon: And you?
Luigi: Luigi.
Sergeant Simon: Luigi Luigi?
Luigi: No, Luigi Mario.
Sergeant Simon: Okay how many Marios are there between the two of you?
Luigi: Three: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.

[In the police car, a wanted poster of Luigi and Mario flashes on a TV screen naming them Alien Plumbers]
Luigi Mario: Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?
Mario Mario: Luigi, *we're* the aliens.
Luigi Mario: We are? Wow, cool.

[Mario and Luigi survey Dinohattan]
Mario Mario: This can't be Manhattan.
Luigi Mario: I don't know, I haven't been to Manhattan in a couple weeks.
Mario Mario: Must have been a bad couple of weeks.

Luigi: Remember, trust the fungus.

Sergeant Simon: Nobody touches President Koopa.
Luigi: [rubbing his eyes in pain] But he said he was...
King Koopa: -One evil, egg sucking son of a snake. Did I lie?

Luigi Mario: Nothing's impossible, you just gotta believe.

Luigi: Wow, you mean there were dinosaurs here in Brooklyn?
Mario: Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too.

Cop: [sees the Marios' tool belts] Aha! Plumbers!
Luigi: No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!
Cop: Get in the car!
Luigi: But I didn't do nothin'!
Cop: Get in the car now!
Mario: Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!
Cop: Get in there, plumber! Now!
Cop: [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car]
Mario: Hey! What is this?
Luigi: All right. What'd we do?
Mario: I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!
Luigi: Write his number down!

[the Marios try to escape in a police car]
Mario: Where's the starter on this thing?
Luigi: I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...
[figures out the strange controls to start the car]
Mario: How do you know how to do that?
Luigi: Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.

Mario: [drives towards a fork] Which way?
Luigi: Take the parkway!
Mario: Right!
[drives into a tunnel instead]
Luigi: [smiles] Perfect, perfect.
Mario: You said the parkway!
Luigi: I know, but I wanted the tunnel, so I said parkway cuz I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested! Ha!

Luigi: Let's go!
Brooklyn Girls: Who are you?
Luigi: Luigi Mario. What, you got a problem with that?

Luigi: By the bar, that big lady with the red spikes took the rock.
Iggy: Was she corpulent? Very corpulent?
Luigi: No no, she was just really round.
Spike: Ah-ha!
[snapping fingers]
Spike: Big Bertha! The bouncer at the Boom-Boom Bar!

Mario: If you 2 don't start talkin' we're gonna leave ya to these guys... for lunch.
Luigi: Now, where's Daisy?
Spike: No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?
Luigi: Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?
Iggy: Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?
Luigi: Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!
Mario: SHUT UP!

Luigi: [sees another Bob-Omb hanging on the fungus] Look! Look! Look, another one!
[a few Goombas enter the scene]
Luigi: Wait, wait, wait, wait, Mario. I think it wants me to take it.
Mario: Stop fiddlin' with the fungus, and let's get outta here!

Luigi: Do you eat?
Princess Daisy: Yes.
Luigi: Dinner?
Princess Daisy: Yes.
Luigi: Tonight?

Luigi: It is an honor to meet you sir, and a pleasure, and I just wanna thank you for all your help.
Mario: Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.

[Entering the Boom Boom Bar]
Luigi: Isn't this a little bit feminine?
Iggy: Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's.
Mario: But you wear this stuff?
Spike: Yes. On occasion, we have a... date.
Mario: Who do you date, a canary?

Luigi: [driving] I've heard sea turtles travel thousands of miles on their own.
Mario: Not in New York traffic, they don't.

Luigi: Hey, Mario! Right now on "Miraculous World", this guy just found out he was in another dimension.
Mario: The only thing miraculous *I* know is that we're still eating while we're going broke.
Luigi: We aint going broke, Mario, we're already there!

Luigi: I think it's trying to communicate with us...
Mario: Luigi, it's a mushroom!

Toad: You boys ain't from around here, are you?
Mario Mario, Luigi Mario: Brooklyn.

Old Lady: Are you boys new in town?
Mario: Listen, lady, we're looking for someone. And we're from Brooklyn.
Old Lady: You know, boys, this is a really rough neighborhood. You really shouldn't be wandering around without a weapon.
Mario: Yea.
Old Lady: You got one?
Luigi: ...No.
Old Lady: ...All right...
[brandishes a cattle-prod-like weapon]
Old Lady: [shouts] Get 'em up, suckers!

Luigi Mario, Princess Daisy: [after watching Mario, Daniella and the other prisoned girls escape and land right in front of them on a mattress]
[to each other]
Luigi Mario, Princess Daisy: Are you all right?
Luigi Mario: [about Mario and the girls] Are *they* all right?

[Koopa has had Toad de-evolved into a Goomba]
Luigi: That's Toad?
King Koopa: Why yes. Loyal, lethal... and stupid.

[Lena has become fossilized into a wall]
Luigi: Wow, she sure makes an impression.

Luigi: [after learning that Daisy was abandoned as an infant] You mean you don't know who your mother and father neither?
Princess Daisy: No. What do you mean, "neither"?
Luigi: Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.
Mario: Hey!
Luigi: [laughing] Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.

[last lines]
Princess Daisy: [enters with combat fatigues and a big gun] Luigi! Mario!
Luigi: Daisy!
Princess Daisy: You guys gotta come with me! I need your help!
Luigi: Why, what's wrong?
Princess Daisy: [cradles her gun and smiles] You're not gonna believe *this*.
Mario: I believe it.
Luigi: You do?
Mario: [chuckles] I believe.

Luigi: [trying to make conversation with Daisy after first meeting her] A-are you ok?
Princess Daisy: I got a few problems...
Luigi: Well, you know, we got a van.
Princess Daisy: [a little confused] It's... nice.
Luigi: No no, I'm asking you if you want a ride. Oh, but, uh... it's broken, though.
Princess Daisy: ...well...
[turns to leave]
Luigi: Your name's Daisy, isn't it? I-I overheard your name's Daisy. I've never heard that name around here. It's really nice, too. N-no, I *have* heard it cuz it's, like, the flower and everything... n-not that I hang around the flower shops or anything like that.

Mario: Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you. Lever let 'em down, and they're always at your side.
Luigi: Hey, Mario, how is it that for every situation that could possibly come up, you always got a saying about tools?
Mario: I got 'em from Papa.
Both: He got 'em from Grandpapa!

[Luigi has managed to get a dinner date with Daisy, thanks to Mario's help]
Mario: What would you do without your big brother, huh?
Luigi: I'd like to take a chance and find out.
Mario: Oh come on!
Luigi: I was just about to ask her that.
Mario: You weren't about to ask her nothing! You were gonna let her go!
Luigi: Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.
Mario: Come on, you'll impress her with your manners.
Luigi: Well why'd you tell her that I suck my thumb, huh?

Princess Daisy: [Scapelli has flooded the fossil site] Thank God you're here... I mean...
Luigi: What do you mean?
Princess Daisy: I mean, you're a plumber, right?
Luigi: Oh, yeah! I don't know exactly what to do.

[Mario and Luigi are chasing after Spike and Iggy as they drag Daisy through the entrance to Dinohatten]
Luigi: I'm gonna kill 'em!
Mario: No, you're not gonna kill 'em, not if I get there first. I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and *then* I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm *really* gonna kill 'em!

Mario, Luigi: Glug glug glug glug glug!

Luigi: Wow, they were dinosaurs in Brooklyn?
Mario: Relax, Luigi, there used to be Dodgers, here, too.

Daisy: [after first date] If you just want to end this right now, I would understand.
Luigi: You know, I was going to ask you the same thing, if you want to end this right now, and you feel bad about that, but you want to talk to somebody about it, you can call me.

"The New Super Mario World: Mama Luigi (#1.13)" (1991)
Yoshi: Why do I have to go to bed so soon?
Luigi: Well, you know what they say in Brooklyn. Early to bed, early to catch the worm. Or is it the bagel?
Yoshi: Mmmm. Worms good.

Yoshi: Skulls? Skulls mean bad medicine!
Luigi: Well, these skulls were good medicine for me.

Luigi: Get back, you dispecafull dinovaurs! You're dealing with a licensed plumber here!
Dinovaur: Weak plumber too!

Luigi: This kid makes Mario look like he's on a diet.

Mario: [inside Yoshi's stomach] Now I know how a meatball feels!
Yoshi: [spits Mario out] Eww! Yoshi no like meatballs!
Mario: Yuck! I've been slobbered!
Luigi: That'll teach you to mess with my new little buddy, Yoshi.

Mario: King Koopa has captured the Princess at his Coney Island Disco Palace. I've been thinking my way through to find you. We've got to go there and save her.
Luigi: Then let's go before I get scared just thinking about it.

Mario: Watch the landing, Luigi.
Luigi: It's the liftoff that got me.

Mario: You didn't tell me you were bringing a secret weapon, Luigi.
Luigi: That's Mama Luigi to you, Mario!

Luigi: You didn't swallow that key, did you, Yoshi?
Yoshi: No. Key no taste good.

Hotel Mario (1994) (VG)
Bowser: [watching Mario and Luigi walk down a path] Hoo ha ha ha ha!
[he hides]
Mario: Nice of the Princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?
Luigi: I hope she made lots of spaghetti!
Mario: Luigi, look!
[points to a letter on the door]
Mario: It's from Bowser!
Mario: Dear pesky plumbers; the Koopalings and I have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom! The Princess is now a permanent guest at one of my seven Koopa Hotels! I dare you to find her if you can!
[turns to Luigi]
Mario: We gotta find the Princess!
Luigi: [pointing at the screen/player] And you gotta help us!
Mario: [talking to player] If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book.

Mario: Looks kind of peaceful.
Luigi: Looks are decieving when Koopas are involved.

Mario: [looking into a cave] Gee, i-i-it's kinda dark.
Luigi: You find a light?
Mario: No.
Luigi: Well, maybe a Koopa will lend us his, if we *persuade* him.

Mario: Remember, when there's smoke...
Luigi: There's fire!

Princess Peach: [Mario and Luigi rescued Princess Peach] Thanks to you two, I can safely rule the Mushroom Kingdom, free from the terrible Koopa King.
[She kisses Mario and Luigi while the sigh passionately]
Princess Peach: [to the player] And my thanks to you to!
Mario, Luigi: [Waving at the player, in unison] Your the best player ever!

Mario Kart 64 (1996) (VG)
Luigi: Bingo! Ho-ho-ho!

Luigi: I'm-a Luigi, number one!

Luigi: [whirling around after hitting a banana or sliding around too much] Mama Miaaaaaaa!

Summer of Sam (1999)
Detective Lou Petrocelli: My partner knows I'm from the neighborhood. Can we get down to business? We need your help.
Luigi: What do you want me to do? Arrest myself?

Luigi: I'm asking you, this guy, how many people did he kill? Three? Four? Five? And with no disrespect, Detective, in Harlem last night, your people, the coloreds, how many of each other did they kill? Seven? Eight?

Detective Lou Petrocelli: There's a homicidal maniac wandering around the neighborhood. You don't want to do anything about it?
Luigi: You have been busting my balls ever since you got promoted. Now, why is that? Wasn't I good to you when you were a kid? Didn't I take you to Yankee Stadium? Didn't you met Mickey Mantle? He signed a baseball to Louie from Mickey Mantle.
Detective Curt Atwater: Who the f*ck, the Mick. Willie Mays was the man.
Luigi: Get outta here. Mick was the guy. He was the guy.

Luigi's Mansion (2001) (VG)
Luigi: [Repeats this line several times in the mansion] Mario?

Toad: [calling Luigi via a telephone] Hello?... Who's there?
Luigi: It's me. Bowser!
Toad: Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Luigi: [examining Toad] You know... I never noticed how cute those red polka dots look on top!

"The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3: Misadventure of Mighty Plumber (#1.12)" (1990)
[first lines]
Luigi Mario: [Luigi is full of suspense and nervous] Oh, it's gonna get her Mario, I can't look!
[covers eyes and opens eyes]
Luigi Mario: Huh?
Mario Mario: If I'd known you're gonna get this excited, I'll never bring this real world TV into the Mushroom Kingdom.

[last lines]
Mario Mario, Luigi Mario: [Mario and Luigi are cheering on their TV set] Go Mighty Plumber! Go! Yeah!
Mario Mario: [Mighty Plumber puts his thumb up] Hey, aren't we big heroes or what!

"The New Super Mario World: The Wheel Thing (#1.2)" (1991)
[first lines]
Mario: Oh look at that Luigi, those cave people work too hard.
[Mario sees a cave person push a boulder]
Mario: Must be something we could do to make their life easier.
Luigi: [Mario & Luigi sees 2 cave people rowing a boat on the ground] Yeah, like what?

[last lines]
Mario: [the cave people are cheering for Mario & Luigi] So, we think we should forget about this Wheel Thing for a few years?
Luigi: Yeah, a few thousand.
[the Mario Brothers land and Yoshi licks on Luigi's face]

Super Mario Brothers: Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986)
Luigi: What the Hell?

Luigi: Blockhead Mario.

"The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3: Reptiles in the Rose Garden (#1.1)" (1990)
Luigi: How can we help America when we can't even help ourselves?

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Magician/Count Koopula (#1.18)" (1989)
[last lines in cartoon segment]
Luigi Mario: Yo. My brother, the pasta vampire.
[everyone laughs]

Mario Kart Wii (2008) (VG)
Waluigi: Everyone else cheat! Next time I cheat, too!

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Day of the Orphan/King Mario of Cramalot (#1.2)" (1989)
Luigi: Oh hiya, squirt, who are you?
Patty: A sad eyed orphan. No parents, no brothers, no sisters, just me and my shadow.
Luigi: Oh, what a sad, story. Come in sweetheart. Oh please, come in to my house. Listen squirt, you don't happen to have a name do you?
Patty: Patty, The Sad Eyed Orphan.
Luigi: Oh. Mario, Mario, come here, we have a guest. This is my brother Mario. Mario, this is Patty, the sad eyed orphan.
Mario "Jumpman" Mario: Nice to meet you Patty, the sad eyed orphen. Where you from?
Patty: Oh, I've been drifting for about six months now, ya know, living off the land. Life if tough when you don't have any parents to love and take care of you.
[Patty fakely cries]
Patty: Nobody even cares that today's my birthday!

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Mama Mia Mario/The Great BMX Race (#1.11)" (1989)
Mario Mario: You okay, Luigi?
Luigi: I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach.

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: 9001: A Mario Odyssey/On Her Majesty's Sewer Service (#1.27)" (1989)
Agent M: I am Agent M.
Mario Mario: I see.
Agent M: Not C. M!
Luigi: Oh.
Agent M: Not O! I'm M. Agent O is on vacation.

"The New Super Mario World: Born to Ride (#1.7)" (1991)
[first lines]
Mario: [Mario is installing a faucet] Wrench.
Luigi: Check.
Mario: Plyers.
Luigi: Check.
[Mario uses the plyers on a pipe]
Luigi: Hey, nice technique.
Mario: Hey, it's something that I picked up from watching This Old Castle on TV.

Mario Kart DS (2005) (VG)
Waluigi: Let's go already!

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Fake Bro/Mario and Joliet (#1.28)" (1989)
Toad: A net!
Luigi: Annette Funicello? Where?

"The New Super Mario World: The Yoshi Shuffle (#1.11)" (1991)
Luigi: Mario, look what I made!
Mario: It's a stone, Luigi! You didn't make it!
Luigi: It's a football! I chiseled it!

Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (2003) (VG)
Baby Luigi: [placing second or third] Baby Luigi number... not 1!

"Luigi0730: Different Effects (#1.2)" (2011)
Luigi: Mario? Where are you?

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Cher's Poochie/Brooklyn Bound (#1.14)" (1989)
Luigi Mario: [last lines in cartoon segment] Holy ravoli, Mario! You didn't say anything about getting a kiss.
Mario "Jumpman" Mario: All part of being a hero, Luigi.
[Mario winks at the camera]

"The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!: Neatness Counts/The Bird! The Bird! (#1.1)" (1989)
Luigi: Hey, Mario, you got a little piece of spaghetti on your overalls.
Mario Mario: Well, thank you, Luigi. And you have a little bit of spaghetti sauce on your shirt, as usual.

"The Irate Gamer: Mario's Time Machine/Mario Is Missing: Part 2 (#3.10)" (2010)
Ronnie the Skeleton: Boy that looks fun. I'd love to travel to all those places.
The Irate Gamer: Yeah, I'd definitely second that.
Luigi: [pops up from pipe] Oh yeah? Well let's-a go.
Ronnie the Skeleton: Oh, oh, really? This'll be great.
The Irate Gamer: Alright!

"Robot Chicken: Gold Dust Gasoline (#1.3)" (2005)
Luigi: Mario, we're-a losing!
Mario: It's-a time to use-a the blue tortoise shell, no?
Luigi: Do it, you magnificent stereotypical bastard.

"The New Super Mario World: Send in the Clown (#1.3)" (1991)
[first lines]
Luigi: [Mario & co are playing tennis] Hey, 30-love Princess, that fire plant serving machine sure was a good idea.
Princess Toadstool: Thank you, I tried everything even fire flowers, the fire plant was the only thing that worked.

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time (2005) (VG)
[title screen]
Mario, Luigi, Baby Mario, Baby Luigi: Nintendo!