Jessica Rabbit
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Quotes for
Jessica Rabbit (Character)
from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

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Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Roger Rabbit: [after bursting in through the drain, holding a gun] Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it!
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling!
Roger Rabbit: That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.
Judge Doom: Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool!
Roger Rabbit: That's it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. So you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Ha! We toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks.
[a ton of bricks falls on Roger from above]
Jessica Rabbit: Roger! Roger, say something!
Roger Rabbit: [Stars circle around Roger's head] Look, stars! Ready when you are, Raoul.

[Jessica and Roger are tied up together, about to get dipped by Judge Doom's Dip-O-Matic Vehicle]
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling. I want you to know I love you. I've loved you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.

Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
[Turns tap handle, Dip pours out onto a silver plate]
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth!
[Removes the curtain, revealing a vehicle that contains a tonne of dip stored]
Judge Doom: Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toon Town will be erased in a matter of minutes.

Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.

Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours.
Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did.
Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel.
Eddie Valiant: Better lover than a driver, huh?
Jessica Rabbit: You'd better believe it, buster.

Eddie Valiant: This singing ain't my line / It's hard to make a rhyme / If I get stuck, I'm... I'm out of luck, and... and...
Jessica Rabbit: I'm running out of time!
Eddie Valiant: Thanks.

Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing pattycake with old man Acme?
Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures.
Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about?
Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures, Roger would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Anything.
[Presses her chest against Eddie's with a "thump"]
Eddie Valiant: What a wife.

Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Roger. You were magnificent.
Roger Rabbit: Was I really?
Jessica Rabbit: Better than Goofy.

Jessica Rabbit: [Aims a gun at Eddie Valiant] Valiant.
Eddie Valiant: I always knew I'd get it in Toontown.
[as he turns around, A shadow of Judge Doom with a gun appears on the wall]
Jessica Rabbit: Behind you!
[Shoots at the shadow; it falls back and the gun drops on the floor]
Eddie Valiant: Drop it, lady!
Jessica Rabbit: I just saved your life, and you still don't trust me?
Eddie Valiant: I don't trust anybody or anything!
Jessica Rabbit: Not even your own eyes?
[Points at the gun on the floor]
Jessica Rabbit: That's the gun that killed R.K. Maroon, and Doom pulled the trigger.
Eddie Valiant: Doom?
Jessica Rabbit: I tracked him to the studio, but I was too late to stop him.
Judge Doom: [Running down the alley] That's right! You'll never stop me! You're dead! You're both dead!
Eddie Valiant: Doom!
[Shoots from his toon gun; Doom turns right and the bullets stop in mid air]
Bullet #3: Which way did he go?
Bullet #2: I don't know. He went thataway.
Bullet #3: Let's go.
[They turn left, the wrong way]
Eddie Valiant: Dum-dums.

Jessica Rabbit: Mr. Valiant?
[Eddie turns around; Jessica slaps him and walks away]
Jessica Rabbit: I hope you're proud of yourself, and those pictures you took.

Eddie Valiant: So, how long have you known it was Doom?
Jessica Rabbit: Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at anything.
Eddie Valiant: So he gave you the will for safe keeping.
Jessica Rabbit: That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope, there was only a blank piece of paper inside.
Eddie Valiant: Ha! A joker to the end.

Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Honey Bunny!
Roger Rabbit: Oh, Love Cup.
Jessica Rabbit: [kisses Roger] Oh, Roger! You were a pillar of strength.

Eddie Valiant: Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose?
Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip.
[Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down"]
Eddie Valiant: [singing] Now Roger is his name / Laughter is his game / C'mon you dope, untie his rope / And watch him go insane.
[He starts dancing and tumbling around, as the weasels laugh]
Jessica Rabbit: He's lost his mind.
Roger Rabbit: I don't think so.

Marvin Acme: Over here, Jessica. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, not now, Marvin. I have a headache.
Marvin Acme: But Jessica, you promised.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.

Jessica Rabbit: Uh-oh. It's the weasels! This way. We'll take Gingerbread Lane.
Eddie Valiant: No, no! Gingerbread Lane's this way!
[Points with his thumb; suddenly, Benny the Cab appears in front of them]
Benny the Cab: So, Valiant, you call a cab or what?
[Sees Jessica]
Benny the Cab: Hubba, hubba, hubba!
[Opens the door for her]
Benny the Cab: Allow me, mademoiselle.

Jessica Rabbit: I suppose you think no one's going to notice Toontown's disappeared?
Judge Doom: Who's got time to wonder what happened to some ridiculous talking mice when they're driving by at 75 miles an hour?
Jessica Rabbit: What're you talking about? There's no road past Toontown.

Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no! Where's Roger?
Eddie Valiant: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio.
Jessica Rabbit: No, he didn't. I hit him over the head with a frying pan and stuck him in the trunk. So he wouldn't get hurt.
Eddie Valiant: Makes perfect sense.

Jessica Rabbit: C'mon Roger, let's go home. I'll bake you a carrot cake.

Judge Doom: [deleted scene] Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant?
Jessica Rabbit: Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir.
Eddie Valiant: Look, doll, if I'd wanted underwear, I'd have broken into Frederick's of Hollywood. You know damn well I was looking for Marvin Acme's will.
Judge Doom: Marvin Acme had no will. I should know; the estate's in my jurisdiction.
Eddie Valiant: Oh, there was a will all right. And she and R.K. Maroon killed him for it.
Jessica Rabbit: [offended] That's absurd!
Eddie Valiant: Someone else is in here looking for the will, too. Probably Maroon's flunkies.
[gestures toward the gorilla bouncer]
Eddie Valiant: I would've caught 'em, too, if Cheetah here hadn't have interrupted me!


"Sketchy: Disney/Star Wars Corporate Retreat (#2.21)" (2013)
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You will let your wife sleep with me.
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please Obi-Wan. Jedi mind tricks don't work on toons.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You will let your wife sleep with me.
Roger Rabbit: I wont!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You will.
Roger Rabbit: I wont!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You "wont".
Roger Rabbit: I will!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You wont.
Roger Rabbit: I will!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You wont.
Roger Rabbit: Listen, when I say I will then that means I will!
[to Jessica Rabbit]
Roger Rabbit: Jessica, go sleep with this guy.
Jessica Rabbit: Okay, honey bunny.