IMDb > Otto (Character) > Quotes
Otto
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Otto (Character)
from A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wendy: Why on earth not?

Wanda: [after Otto breaks in on Wanda and Archie in Archie's flat and hangs him out the window] I was dealing with something delicate, Otto. I'm setting up a guy who's incredibly important to us, who's going to tell me where the loot is and if they're going to come and arrest you. And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?
Otto West: Don't call me stupid.
Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto West: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

[repeated line]
Otto: Don't call me stupid!

Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wendy: Why on earth not?
Otto: Oh, you English are *so* superior, aren't you? Well, would you like to know what you'd be without us, the good ol' U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's what! So don't call me stupid, lady. Just thank me.
Wendy: Well, *thank* you for popping in and protecting us.
Otto: If it wasn't for us, you'd all be speaking *German!* Singing "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles..."

Otto: [puts a bag over Archie's head] Hello, Mr. Burglar! Going somewhere? Thought you could rob Mr. Leach, eh? Well, I'm going to teach you a lesson!
[kicks him in the stomach]
Otto: He just happens to be a very good friend of mine!
Archie: Otto! Otto! Otto!
Otto: [comes back with a long-handled pan] And he's going to be very pleased with me to find you here, all tied up and ready for the police!
[knocks Archie out with a pan]
Otto: And don't call me "Otto." To you, I am "Mr..."
[stops, lifts bag, sees it's Archie, screams]
Otto: Oh, my God... Oh... Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[pats Archie's face]
Otto: Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you. How could I know it was you? I mean, how could you expect me to guess? Stupid jerk! I mean, what the fuck were you doing *robbing* your *own house?*
[kicks Archie in the stomach]
Otto: You asshole! You stupid, stiff, pompous, English...!
[screams and recoils]
Otto: I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Uh... uh... yeah.
[runs]

[Archie has put his gun down to fist fight with Otto]
Archie: I used to box for Oxford.
Otto: Oh, yeah?
[Otto quickly picks up Archie's gun, and points it at him]
Otto: I used to kill for the CIA.

Wanda: I want you to know something Otto.
Otto: What?
Wanda: Even if you were my brother I'd still want to fuck you.

Airline Employee: Aisle or window, smoking or non?
Otto: What was the part in the middle?

Otto: I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him, he's mine.

Otto: You know your problem? You don't like winners.
Archie: Winners?
Otto: Yeah. Winners.
Archie: Winners, like North Vietnam?
Otto: Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie!
Archie: [going into a cowboy-like drawl] I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD.

Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole.
Archie: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You are the vulgarian, you fuck.

[repeated line]
Otto: Asshole!

Wanda: What have you found out?
Otto: Not a lot.
Wanda: You realise he's in court tomorrow?
Otto: I know. I know that!
Wanda: So nothing, huh?
Otto: Nix! Zip! Diddly! Bupkis!
[seductively]
Otto: Niente!

[Otto dangles Archie out a window]
Archie: All right, all right, I apologise.
Otto: You're really sorry.
Archie: I'm really really sorry, I apologise unreservedly.
Otto: You take it back.
Archie: I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
Otto: OK.

Ken: Rev-enge!
Otto: [laughing] It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?

Otto West: Look, you obviously don't know anything about intelligence work, lady. It's an X-K-Red-27 technique.
Wendy: My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin, and I know perfectly well that you don't keep the general public informed when you are "debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house."

Otto: Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.

Otto: Avoid the green ones. They're not ripe yet.

Otto: [practicing his apology] Oh, I'm so very, very, very ssssssssssss... FUCK YOU!

Otto: So the old lady's gonna m-m-m-meet with an accident eh K-K-K-K-Ken?

Otto: What is this? "Hump a Limey" week?

Wanda: Get the fuck out of here, Otto.
Otto: Relax. I heard moaning; I was worried.

Otto: Ok... Ok... DISAPPOINTED. Son of a bitch. What do you have to do in this world to make people trust you?
Wanda: Shut up.
Otto: People are always taking advantage of me.
Wanda: Shut up and think.
[Otto pulls out a silenced pistol and fires two shots at the safe]
Wanda: What are you doing?
Otto: I'm thinking.

Otto: You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're... smart, you've got wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress really interestingly.
Ken: What you...?
Otto: We could have a lot of fun together, you and I. And I think we'd be really good for each other. What do you say?
Ken: You must be j-j-j...
Otto: May I kiss you, Ken?
[tries to kiss him]
Ken: No, you fucking can't!
[runs away]

Otto: I love robbing the English, they're so polite.

[Archie has put his gun down to fist fight with Otto]
Archie: I used to box for Oxford.
Otto: Oh, yeah? Well...
[Otto quickly picks up Archie's gun, and points it at him]
Otto: ...I used to kill for the CIA.

Otto: I'm, uh, Harvey. Manfred... jen... sen... den.

Otto: I'm here because I'm bored. Bored hanging around this God-awful city. Shoving George's ugly pic... Talking to a lot of snotty, stuck up, intellectual British faggots. Jesus they're uptight they get rigor mortis in the prime of life in this country, standing there with their hair clenched.
Otto: [finds a letter from Archie to Wanda] Just, counting the seconds to the weekends so they can all dress up like ballerinas and whip themselves into a frenzy at the flat at 4. 2B St.
Otto: [recovering] To be honest I hate them. I mean pretending they're so fucking lawyer.
Otto: [recovering again] superior, so fucking superior with those phony accents.
Otto: [Ken peeks in the room] Not you Ken, you have a beautiful speaking voice... when it works.
Otto: [about Wanda] Son of a bitch!
Otto: [to Wanda, loudly] So, wanna have some lunch?
Otto: [quietly] Have you heard from him?
Wanda: Who?
Otto: Archie.
Wanda: [loudly] No I have to finish my hair!
Wanda: [quietly] No.
Otto: Nothing?
Otto: [loudly] Ok well I'm outta here!
Otto: [quietly] No plans to see him?
Wanda: No.
Wanda: [loudly] Ok. Bye Bro.
Otto: Bye Wanda!
[Punches Wanda's picture, hands it to Ken]
Otto: Oh Sorry.

Otto: You really like animals don't you, Ken? What's the attraction.
Ken: Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don't sh-sh-sh-sh
Otto: Shit on you?
Ken: Show off all the t-time.

Archie: [to Wanda] How could a bright and smart girl like you have a brother who is so...
Otto: [coming between them] Don't call me stupid!

Otto: Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? "They were God's second blunder."
Ken: Well, you t-t-t-tell him from me that I kuh-kuh, I kuh-kuh...

Otto: Hello, K-K-K-Ken's p-p-pets!
[taps on fish tank]
Otto: Wake up!
[beats the water with a scrub brush]
Otto: Wake up Limey fish!
[to Wanda]
Otto: So... how are you going to get friendly with this lawyer?
Wanda: I don't know - I'll improvise.
[Otto gets fed up with the fish and tosses the scrub brush into the tank]
Otto: Fucking insects!

Otto: Shit! Fucking Limey cement.

Otto: [to Archie] You spineless bimbo.

Otto: Touch his dick, and he's dead!

Archie: You're going to shoot me?
Otto: [in a pompous, English accent] Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!

Otto: When you say "friendly", what are we talking about here? Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What?
Wanda: I don't know. Let's just see what happens.
Otto: So, "friendly" might include actual... what, penetration?

Wanda: What about my tits?
Otto: Does he get to handle them?
Wanda: Yes. That's my forecast. I'll stand by that.

[Ken drives at Otto with a steamroller. Otto laughs, until he realizes his feet are trapped in cement, and his gun is empty]
Otto: Ken! Ken! Wait, wait, Ken! Kenny! I... may I call you Kenny?
Ken: Remember Wanda!
Otto: I got the deal of a lifetime! Fifty-fifty, you and me, what do you say! Okay, okay, okay, sixty-forty! That's my final offer!
Ken: REVENGE!
Otto: Wait, I got an idea! You take it all! Yeah, here's my boarding pass, Ken!
Ken: I'm gonna, I'm gonna k-ka, kill you!
Otto: Okay, fine, Ken! Come at me, give me your best shot! Go on, Ken! You don't have the guts, admit it!
[the steamroller bears down on him]
Otto: Okay, you have the guts, good... wait!
Ken: Death!
Otto: Okay, I'm-sorry-I-ate-your-fish, okay? I'm-sorry!
Ken: Revenge!
Otto: Jesus, I said I'm sorry! What the fu-?
[He goes under the steamroller]
Otto: AAAAHHHH!
Ken: Got him!

Otto: [to Ken about Mrs Coady] What does he want you to do? Send her flowers? Do her shopping? Show her a good time? Rub her out? Rub her out?
Otto: [gleefully] HE'S GOING TO KILL HER! HA HA HA!
Ken: Shut up!
Otto: [shows his gun to a group of onlookers] Fuck off or I'll kill you. LIMEY FRUITS! So the old lady's gonna m-m- meet with an accident, eh K-K-Ken?
Ken: Shh!
[Otto laughs]
Ken: What's - what's so funny?
Otto: Nothing, it's just that wasting old ladies isn't NICE!
Ken: [angrily] Well it's better than b-b-buggering people!
Otto: I'll bet you a pound you don't kill her.
Ken: Alright.
Otto: Alright. I love watching your ass when you walk! Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him! He's mine! A pound says you won't kill her! Ha ha!