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Quotes for
Jess (Character)
from When Harry Met Sally... (1989)

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When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
Jess: Emily is terrific.
Harry Burns: Yeah. But of course when I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
Jess: No.

Harry Burns: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.
Sally: Harry.
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid wagon wheel ROY ROGERS GARAGE SALE COFFEE TABLE!
Jess: I thought you liked it!
Harry Burns: I WAS BEING NICE!
[he leaves]
Sally: He just bumped into Helen.

[Playing "Pictionary."]
Jess: "Baby talk"? That's not a saying.
Harry Burns: Oh, but "baby fish mouth" is sweeping the nation? I hear them talking.

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

Harry Burns: [about Sally] I can say anything to her.
Jess: Are you saying you can say things to her you can't say to me?
Harry Burns: No, it's just different. It's a whole different perspective. I get the woman's point of view on things. She tells me about the men she desires and I can talk to her about the women that I see.
Jess: You tell her about other women?
Harry Burns: Yeah, like the other night, I made love to this woman. It was so incredible, I took her to a place that wasn't human. She actually meowed.
Jess: [surprised] You made a woman meow?
Harry Burns: Yeah, that's the point. I can say these things to her. And the great thing is, I don't have to lie, because I am not always thinking about how to get her into bed. I can just be myself.
Jess: You made a woman meow?

Marie: Tell me I'll never have to be out there again.
Jess: You will never have to be out there again.

Marie: Restaurants are to people in the 80's what theatres were to people in the 60's. I read that in a magazine.
Jess: I wrote that.
Marie: Get out of here.
Jess: I did, I wrote that.
Marie: Where did I read that?
Jess: New York magazine
Harry: Sally writes for New York magazine

[Unable to guess what Sally is trying to draw during a round of Pictionary]
Jess: Draw SOMETHING resembling ANYTHING.

Jess: No one has ever quoted me back to me before.