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: My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that. Trudy
: It couldn't have gotten any smaller. Ted
] It looked like a little Tic Tac. Michael Newman
: Yeah, come here. I'll freshen your breath.
: Hey, Micheal. Micheal, who are you talking to? Michael Newman
: Jesus. I'm talking to my boss, Ma. Take it easy. Trudy
: Oh, yeah? Well, tell him to get a life. You got family here. You're busy. Come on. Michael Newman
: My mother says hello.
: Thank you, Mom for having me, I know it was a lot of pain. Trudy
: You have no idea.
: Benjamin, what do I have in my hand? Trudy
: A quarter. Ted
: Now, Grandma doesn't let me eat ice cream because of my diabetes. Trudy
: True. Ted
: But she says nothing about a tasty quarter.
[bites off half of it
: Alright, please, very quickly, count to 3, it tastes terrible. One... Ted
, Ben at 7-Years-Old
, Donna Newman
: Two, three.
[Ted spits the quarter back into one piece
: Ahh! Ben at 7-Years-Old
: Are you shitting me? Trudy
: First he's eating like his father and now you're talking like him? Donna Newman
: Ben! Trudy
: Don't you EVER say that again! Ben at 7-Years-Old
: Sorry, Grandma. Samantha Newman - Age 5
: HOW did you do that, Grandpa? Ted
: A good magician NEVER reveals his secrets, your daddy's been wanting to know how I did it since he was your age.
: [Michael rewinds to his family's camping trip at Lake Winnipesaukee in the 70s
] Uh uh uh, no cupcakes yet! Michael at 10 Years Old
: But I'm starving! Ted
: I know exactly how you feel, Michael, I'm so hungry, I could eat this quarter! Michael Newman
: Ah, so THIS is where the quarter trick started. Morty
: [watches Ted bite the quarter in half and then spit it whole again, amazed
] How did he do that? Michael Newman
: It's a trick coin you buy in a magic shop, I just couldn't ever let him know I knew that.
: [Ben's eating a large dish of ice cream
] Benjamin, slow down, it's not a race.
: It's his second one in five minutes, he's like a machine, he just keeps eating, he can't still be hungry. Donna Newman
: He's not, he's just doing whatever Michael does. It's driving him nuts. Trudy
: What Michael's been doing lately is very unhealthy, he's going to kill himself!