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Quotes for
Juno (Character)
from Beetlejuice (1988)

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Beetlejuice (1988)
Juno: What's wrong?
Barbara: We're very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect? You're dead.

Juno: Okay, have you been studying the manual?
Adam: Well, we tried.
Juno: The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all. Get them out yourselves. It's your house. Haunted houses aren't easy to come by.
Barbara: Well, we don't quite get it.
Juno: [knowingly] I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you.
Adam: We should start more simply then?
Juno: Start simply, do what you know, use your talents, practice. You should've been studying those lessons since day one.

Juno: [as Adam and Barbara come back to the afterlife] You two have really screwed up! I received word that you allowed yourselves to be photographed, and you let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back, and you let Otho get hold of the handbook!
Adam: Handbook? When?
Juno: [rolls her eyes] Never trust the living! We cannot have a routine haunting like yours provide proof that there is existence beyond death.

Dumb Football Player: Coach. Coach, where's the men's room?
Juno: I'm not your coach! *He* survived.
Dumb Football Player #2: Wait, coach, let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here?
Juno: Will you get out of here! Go on, get downstairs! 'Men's room'! Are you kidding? Can't you read signs?

Very Dumb Football Player: [the football players have re-entered Juno's office] Coach?
Juno: What?
Very Dumb Football Player: [looking disturbed] I don't think we survived that crash.
Juno: [sarcastically] How did you guess?

Barbara: What about that guy in the flyer, you know Betel...
Juno: Shh... Don't even say his name. You don't want his help.
Adam: We might.
Juno: No, you don't. He does not work well with others.
Barbara: What do you mean?
Juno: I didn't want to bring it up, but rather than have you stumble on to it and make another mistake, I'll tell you. He was my assistant, but he was a troublemaker. Went out on his own as a freelance bio-exorcist. Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. In fact, I believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. The only way he can be brought back is by calling his name three times.