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[On the new house
: Delia hates it.
[sees a HUGE spider on a web
: I could live here.
: Pumpkin, sweetheart...
[kisses her and forces her out his study room
: Go help your mother. Lydia
: Maybe *you* can relax in a haunted house, but I can't.
: [while Lydia shows them the attic
] Fabulous. 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. I'm totally enchanted. Delia
: They're in there? They must live like animals. Charles
: It's locked. How'd they get in? Delia
: [bangs on the door
] Open this door, you dead people, or we'll bust it down and we'll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with! Lydia
: Shh! They didn't commit suicide. Delia
: It doesn't matter. Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here: you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they're dead or alive, will walk all over you.
: [Lydia is writing a suicide note
] I am alone.
[throws paper away and starts over
: I am *utterly* alone.
: They don't wanna come down. Delia
: Charles... Otho
: Why not? Lydia
: I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared. Delia
: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.
: As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a dark room in the basement, okay? Lydia
: My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room. Delia
: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.
: You can see us without the sheets? Lydia
: Of course I can see you. Adam
: Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can? Lydia
: Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual". I myself am strange and unusual. Barbara
: You look like a regular girl to me.
: Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you? Beetlejuice
: Dead. Dead, dead, deadski. Lydia
: Of course they're dead. They're ghosts. Beetlejuice
: No, I mean they're gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased-ahh. Lydia
: Are you a ghost too? Beetlejuice
: I'm a ghost with the most, babe.
: You've read our book? Lydia
: Yeah. Adam
: You can follow it? Lydia
: Yeah. Why were you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom? Adam
: We were trying to scare your mother. Lydia
: Stepmother. Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.
: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic? Adam
: We're ghosts! Lydia
: What do you look like under there? Adam
: Aren't you scared? Lydia
: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus? Adam
: Night of the what? Lydia
: Living Dead. It's a movie. Barbara
: You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.
: They wanted me to dissect a frog, I told them it was against my religion.
: [while eating Cantonese food
] I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that's in this food.
: And you, do you Lydia, take this man...? Lydia
] No! Beetle... Beetlejuice
: [Covers Lydia's mouth
] She's a little bit nervous. Uh, maybe I should answer for her, okay?
[speaks in Lydia's voice
: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. The man next to me is the one I want. You asked me, I'm answering. Yes, I love that man of mine.
: [Trying to get Lydia to guess his name, he makes a beetle appear
] Hi! How're ya doin? Lydia
] Ah B-Beetle! Beetlejuice
: Yes! Now for part two... Lydia
: [Conjures a glass of orange juice that pours into a glass
] Beetle... Breakfast... Orange... Liquid... Beetle Juice? Beetlejuice
: Yes! You said it! Lydia
: Your name's "Beetle Juice"? Beetlejuice
: You said it two times, come on. Say it one more time! Lydia
: Wait a minute... it was you, you were the snake. Beetlejuice
: What are you talking about a snake?
: [On Otho's seance
] Wait... what am I worried about, Otho, you can't even change a tire.
: If you are real ghosts, you guys better get another routine because those sheets, they don't work.
: I was just trying to open the door. Mrs. Butterfield brought over a skeleton key. Charles
: Let me have it. Lydia
: But it doesn't work.
[She hands her father the key. He looks at it and throws it in the corner
: Skeleton keys never work. Anyway, this can wait. We'll get a crowbar later. Where's your mother? Lydia
: Stepmother. Charles
: I'm going down to relax. I want a noise-free zone. Do you understand? Noise-free.
[he goes down the stairs
: Dad? Charles
: [irritated, over his shoulder
] What? Lydia
: I'm lonely. Charles
: What? Lydia