Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell
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Quotes for
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell (Character)
from "Prison Break" (2005)

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"Prison Break: Riots, Drills and the Devil: Part 1 (#1.6)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: What do you call a piece of white trash who couldn't pass the cop's exam and now makes less than a mailman? A C.O.
Captain Brad Bellick: You know Teddy, you really let me down and that's hard to do. Because I don't expect much from the inbred child of a retard. That's right. I read the psych records.

[T-Bag and other inmates are banging on the fence to get out of the cell block. Bellick and the other C.O.'s are on the other side]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Hey Bellick, Bellick. I got one for ya. What do you call a piece of white trash, that couldn't pass the cops exam, and now makes less then a mailman? A C.O.
[Bellick starts thinking, then starts smiling T-Bag]
Captain Brad Bellick: You know Teddy you've really let me down, which is a big disappointment since I don't expect much from the in-bred child of a retard. Thats right Teddy. I read your psych records. About how your daddy raped his mongoloid sister, and nine months later little Teddy popped out.
[T-Bag looks at Belick for a second, stuned in silence]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Angrly] I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: So you see "friends"... Either I'm through that hole with you, or I'm gonna sing like Johnny Cash!

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [after Scofield broke the A/C] Can't you transfer us some place cooler? Like... Africa?

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell:
[T-Bag and other inmates are banging on the fence to get out of the cell block. Bellick and the other C.O.'s are on the other side]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: "Hey Bellick, Bellick. I got one for ya. What do you call a piece of white trash, that couldn't pass the cops exam, and now makes less then a mailman? A C.O."

Captain Brad Bellick: Captain Brad Bellick:
[Bellick getting back at Teddy for his joke]
Captain Brad Bellick: "You know Teddy you've really let me down, which is a big disappointment since I don't expect much from the in-bred child of a retard. Thats right Teddy. I read your psych records. About how your daddy raped his mongoloid sister, and nine months later little Teddy popped out."
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [about the rising temperature in the cells] Not that hot?
[he points to an African American cellmate]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: When this guy woke up this morning, he was white!

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Whilst leading a riot] Get on the train!, Get on the train!, Get on the train!

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Just what I thought the piglets are scared of the big, bad wolf!

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Why don't you send us someplace more cooler, like Africa?

"Prison Break: Subdivision (#2.6)" (2006)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I was only looking, Pretty! What's that old chestnut? I can look at the menu, doesn't mean I'm going to eat.

Jeanette: Do you know what the best cure for a broken heart is?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Do tell.
Jeanette: Get back on the bike. Whatever bike it is.

David 'Tweener' Apolskis: Yo man, this is not good. We got her up in our grill checkin' in on us all the time.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: The boy's right. My hand says "I can't dig". I'll volunteer to keep her occupied.
Michael Scofield: You don't touch her.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Who are you, Sister Mary Francis? I know how to play nice.
Michael Scofield: I'll be watchin'.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: We really need to get started, ma'am. We wouldn't want a pretty little thing like yourself sitting in the dark tonight, now do we?
Jeanette: Now that depends on who I'm sitting with.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Touché.

Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Damn, man, you still alive?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: And kickin', homeboy.

Lincoln Burrows: What happened?
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: Whoa! Ok, check it. This fool came in the shop, he was acting all shady, he got a bad vibe. So, he picked up his celly phone, he started making calls so I popped him.
Lincoln Burrows: What?
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: I hit him with a shovel man, I didn't know what else to do! So, I just-I tied him up and put him in the back with that other country hick.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Here we go, here we go...
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: I came through, you gimp!

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [about sending Tweener to the store] Mistake. Big mistake.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I remembered the best I can, gents, but I didn't know this place would now be smothered in tract homes. So, you know, sorry I'm not Rain Man over here.

Michael Scofield: I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth other than what your photographic memory spits out regarding that map!
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: You watch your tone with me, boy.
Michael Scofield: I will watch you get tossed to the side of the road to fend for yourself, boy. Because if you can't remember where that silo was, you're worthless to us.

"Prison Break: Bluff (#1.18)" (2006)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [upon learning that Manche is now included in the escape] What are we, the A-Train? Everyone gets to ride with us?

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Wooh! Looks like a Bank of Africa wasn't allowing any withdrawals.

Jesus: [to C-Note, during the kitchen card game] What you got?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [C-Note lays down a full house] A full house. That's a concept a Mexican should be quite familiar with, hey Jesus?

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: We got us a problem. Mojo's moving into Scofield's cell. And That ain't all. He was bitchin' about the toilet so Geary's putting in a work order. They move that toilet...
Charles Westmoreland: They find that hole.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: We are all screwed
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: How much Mojo promise?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: $200
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Oh Gomer. See you had me scared there for a minute.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: When I play cards it ain't gamblin'.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Looks like the Bank of Africa wasn't allowing any withdrawals.

"Prison Break: Map 1213 (#2.5)" (2006)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: You know, in Thailand, they got a black market where you can get any kind of surgery you need, even a hand transplant.
Lincoln Burrows: You're sick, you know that?

Michael Scofield: Tell me that's not what I know it is.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Oh, it is. But don't worry. Before I destroyed it, I committed it to my photographic memory.
[eats last bit of the map]
Michael Scofield: Coming from a compulsive liar I find that a little hard to believe.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I'd a tattooed it to my body, but I didn't have the time...

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I'm gonna take the high road here and suggest a mutually beneficial arrangement. I have the information, you have the manual requirements necessary to unearth Westmoreland's buried booty. We're partners.
Michael Scofield: And why is that?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: 'Cause as of this moment, I'm your map.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [seeing Tweener] I just found me an inbetweener! Where you goin' with such a hurry, huh?
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: None of your beeswax, yo.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I know where, same place every other man who was in that room that night. They all comin' around here for a big family reunion... at the KU KLUX Ranch, if they ain't here already.
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: Ain't no country folk in this town ever heard of the Double K Ranch.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Seems like you've been misinformed, indeedy there is a Double K. It's just a matter of who gets there first, all right? The stars are going to collide in Tooele, my friend.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Do you see the silo?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [staring at a bunch of townhouses] The bastards built over it.
Michael Scofield: It's gone.

Michael Scofield: [after discovering Map 1213 has been ripped from the book] Someone got here before us. That's the only explanation.
Lincoln Burrows: [seeing T-Bag] Son of a bitch is still alive!
[running down to catch him]
Michael Scofield: [to T-Bag] Hey, Pretty!
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: What the...?
Lincoln Burrows: What'cha gonna do, scream?
[slams him into the car]
Lincoln Burrows: Why the hell are you still breathing?
Michael Scofield: [with T-Bag's accent] What the hell'd you do to your hand?
[Lincoln grabs T-Bags hand]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Whoa, easy, easy, easy. I recently had some work done.
Lincoln Burrows: Where's the map?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Easy, easy, easy. I don't have it!

"Prison Break: Flight (#1.22)" (2006)
[T-Bag has just handcuffed himself to Michael and Abruzzi has just pulled a gun on T-Bag]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: If you shoot me, pretty here will be carrying around 170 pounds of dead Alabama flesh with him. And considering how much you need him to get this little Fibonacci vendetta of yours...

[T-Bag has the key to the handcuffs in his mouth]
John Abruzzi: *Spit it out. Spit it out.*
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [swallows key] ... Oops.

John Abruzzi: If you think I won't gut you myself to get that key, you're in for a big surprise.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I encourage you to remember the last time you came after me with a knife...
Michael Scofield: *Shut up. Shut up, both of you.*

John Abruzzi: If you think I won't cut you myself to get that key, you're in for a big surprise.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I encourage you to remember the last time you came at me with a knife...
Michael Scofield: Shut up! Shut up! Both of you!

[after a failed attempt to cut the handcuffs binding Michael and T-Bag together]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [laughing] Guess it just wasn't meant to be, eh, now fellas?
[Abruzzi comes up from behind and chops off T-Bag's hand with an axe, T-Bag screams]

"Prison Break: Buried (#2.7)" (2006)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: That picture makes me look like a sociopath.

Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: What the hell is up with you and Thailand, huh?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Black-market surgery, anonymous transplant donors, hes dressed like shes. What's there not to like?

Michael Scofield: This is going wrong in every possible way.
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: This is stupid, man! We cannot do this!
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Hat's over the wall now.
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: It means we're committed. It's time to go get the hat. We don't have a choice.
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Yeah, we do. We can walk right up outta here, right now, man.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: And then what? We are already in the house. Those women are already bound. We have committed this crime. We leave, it ain't gonna change any of that!

Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Why don't you get down in that hole and dig, man.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: How 'bout you backin' up, dark fella?
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: You're a long way away from home, trailer park. I can put you in that hole and nobody'd ever hear you scream.

TV Reporter: We have security expert Marin Bernard with us who will explain how other prisons are ensuing that they are not victimized by the next Fox River Eight.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Should be the Fox River Seven, now that Abruzzi's takin' his dirt nap. God rest the man's soul, of course.

"Prison Break: Tweener (#1.9)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: You'll have to forgive my boy... he has the propensity to be a bit gregarious when he shouldn't be.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Not a good position you find yourself in is it?
[sits down next to Tweener on the bleachers]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Whites don't want you, blacks don't want you. Your just caught in the middle aren't ya?
[looks at Tweener]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: A regular 'Tweener'
[Tweener looks back at T-Bag, silently]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: We're different, you and me by every way... We're also a lot alike. Couple o' dogs with running noses that nobody loves.
[stares at Tweener tastefully]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: How's that knee by the way?
[squeezes Tweener's knee]
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: [jerks off the bleacher] What the hell you doin' man?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: - No, no, no don't get me wrong, I'm just a friend.
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: Yeah a fruity friend. I don't need none of that.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Easy now.
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: No, no you think you can get up with this, you got another thing comin'. You homo.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [looks appalled] You got a foul mouth you know that?
David 'Tweener' Apolskis: Yea, I do and you come near me again I kill you.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I'm just a friend.
David "Tweener" Apolskis: A fruity friend. I don't need none of that.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Easy now.
David "Tweener" Apolskis: No. You think you're getting up in this, you got another thing coming.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [about Tweener] Boy's a bit confused about his pigmentation, but he sure does have spunk.

"Prison Break: Allen (#1.2)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Taunting Michael from inside his cell] You in there, pretty? I know you're there. Just wanted you to know that I'm coming for you. You've got nowhere to run. You're trapped in that little hole of yours. Trapped like a pig...
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: ... that I'm gonna slaughter...

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I'll protect you. All you gotta do is take this pocket right here and ya life'll be all peaches and cream. I walk, you walk with me. Keep real close now, so no one up in here can hurt you.
Michael Scofield: [pointing to the inmate who is already holding on to the pocket] I see you already have a girlfriend

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Maybe you're one of them milk chickens, all confused-like? White on the outside, black as tar on the inside. Maybe we ought to take a look at them insides and find out, huh?

Inmate: You best speak with respect, fish. Man kidnapped half a dozen boys and girls down in 'bama, raped and killed 'em. Wasn't always in that order either.
Michael Scofield: Does this T-Bag have a name?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [walks up] That is my real name.
[Michael stands to leave]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: No, no, no please, sit. So you're the one I've been hearing all the rave reviews about. Scofield! Well, one thing's for sure, you just as pretty as advertised. Prettier even.

"Prison Break: End of the Tunnel (#1.13)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Abruzzi was found with his throat slashed and rushed to the hospital via medical helicopter] Wonder what happened to that boy... Maybe them Mafia chickens came home to roost after all.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [after Abruzzi has been taken away in a stretcher] And then there were six.
C-Note: [Glancing at T-Bag] As far as I know, it's five.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Remember Pretty, I am serving life plus one. So if I get busted for attempted escape, I'ma throw in a homicide, no problem, that's like a parking ticket to me!

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Maybe them Mafia chickens came home to roost after all.

"Prison Break: Under & Out (#3.11)" (2008)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: You know, we can work on this railroad all the livelong day, but it don't matter if Scofield doesn't know what happens once we get off the train.

Michael Scofield: Let's rotate. Keep everybody fresh.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Welcome to the coal mine, canary.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: We both know how it feels to lose a great love, how it feels to kill a man, and we both ended up in here because of Michael Scofield. Wouldn't it be poetic justice if we could just return the favor?
Alexander Mahone: Justice, huh? If there was an ounce of it left in this world, you'd be lying face down in the same unmarked grave as the rest of your inbred family.

"Prison Break: Manhunt (#2.1)" (2006)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I ain't nobody.

Dr. Marvin Gudat: [about T-Bag's arm surgery] Nobody can undergo this procedure without anesthetics!
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: ...Well, I ain't nobody, pretty.

Dr. Marvin Gudat: Nobody can undergo a procedure like this without an anesthetic.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I Ain't Nobody!

"Prison Break: Fin del camino (#2.21)" (2007)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [to Michael Scofield] You're being penny wise and pound foolish.

Michael Scofield: Looks like you've made some friends lately.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I don't follow.
Michael Scofield: That set-up back there is a little out of your league, looked almost professional.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Let's say that's the case. What's it worth to you to find out? Because I am in possession of some information that you might need.
Michael Scofield: Okay. Tell me what you know and maybe I'll let you walk. Without the money.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Holds knife out pointed to Michael] What exactly is it that you want, Pretty?
Michael Scofield: I'm turning you in.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Is that it? Really? It ain't about the money? Cos if it is, you can tell me. There's nobody here but us cons.
Michael Scofield: You can walk, or get dragged... but it's up to you.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: No, see, when you had the gun on me, I afforded you a certain respect, but uh here? Well the scales are tipped back my way. So I'm going to spell out the present options. Either we split this money and you can uh go get your legs tattooed or whatever the hell it is you want... or they're going to find your corpse slumped over that there chair with your pants down around your ankles cos it's been a *long* time coming, Pretty.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Michael walks over to a glass bottle and smashes it on a sink] Well I got my answer.

"Prison Break: The Killing Box (#2.13)" (2006)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Hello Mrs. Hollander! They say a good woman is hard to find. Well that's true you must be a very, very, very good. Don't be afraid. Teddy's home.

Denise: I have never done that before.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Then I guess we were making up for some lost time.
Denise: I have to ask, Sam, are you, uh... are you married or something?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Me? No. What makes you think...
Denise: Come on now. I may be plain, but I'm not a fool. Usually the men I end up with are just looking for something, you know...on the side.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Denise, the only "side" I'm interested in, is the inside. And that place within not plain.
Denise: I have to get back to work.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Do you really?
Denise: I have to close tonight.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: How 'bout I pick you up after? We can have dinner.
Denise: Are you sure?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Denise...I insist.

[after Denise recognises T-Bag from the wanted poster]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I really wish you hadn't seen that.

"Prison Break: Call Waiting (#3.3)" (2007)
Michael Scofield: It's time you made good on all the bad you've done Theodore. Your gonna do me a favour, Lechero has a cell phone and I need it.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Oh shall I turn water into wine while I'm at it? Or give his mother a right good rogering? Why the hell would I do you a favour?
Michael Scofield: Because unlike your new compadres up there I know who you are, what you've done and who you've done it to!
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Let me get this straight... You gonna tell on me?
Michael Scofield: This is a deeply religious Country, and i'm betting the good people down in Panama don't take to kindly to rapists and paedophiles.
Michael Scofield: You wanna bet against me?

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I think it's time you made good on all the bad you've done, Theodore. You and me, we're gonna make a deal. Lechero has a cell phone. I need it.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: No problem. Shall I turn water into wine while I'm at it? Maybe give the guy's mother a good rogering?
Michael Scofield: She'd be a little old for your taste, no?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Careful, Pretty. Don't bite the hand you're trying to get fed out of.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [to Michael] If that phone ain't back on the cradle, we're both dead, you hear me? Cause my Alabama ass is not going down alone.

"Prison Break: Brother's Keeper (#1.16)" (2006)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [to Susan, the lady who sent him back to prison] I think that's where you're right... 'Cause when you sent me here... in this place... with these people... it brought that old dirty bastard right back home! Like there was a candle... in the window... just waiting for me to walk up them front steps.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: You know, I'm going to get out of here someday. And when I do... don't think I won't remember what your front steps look like, Susan.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: You know, I'm going to get out of here one day and when I do, don't think I won't remember what your front porch looks like.

[T-Bag is at Susan Holland's home, talking with her daughter, Gracie]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Ya' know, math was never my best subject, either. But, uhm, I got through it by learnin' some new tricks. Ya' wanna learn some tricks, Gracie?

"Prison Break: The Old Head (#1.8)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Either I'm through that hole with you, or I'm gonna sing like Johnny Cash.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I'm feelin' kinda left out. New York, California, St. Louis. What are we discussing?
Michael Scofield: Talkin' baseball, actually.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Huh. Now that's a subject I just happen to know quite a bit about.
John Abruzzi: What a shame. The conversation's over.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I'm comin' along on this endeavor whether you like it or not. I've got a hell of a singin' voice otherwise.

"Prison Break: Killing Your Number (#4.22)" (2009)
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Do you remember that day when we were in the chow line at Fox River? When you made that off-handed comment to me?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I believe it had a racial bent to it.
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Do you remember your broken jaw? Now, just imagine what I can do to you right now with something real on the line.

Lincoln Burrows: We took a vote. You're in luck.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Oh, lucky day!
Lincoln Burrows: What we voted on was whether or not you took a stick of gum on your van ride back to prison.

"Prison Break: Cell Test (#1.3)" (2005)
John Abruzzi: Got an issue with our little friend over there?
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: I don't gotta come to you. You don't give the green light.
John Abruzzi: Everything in here runs through me, you know that.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Maytag's in the ground because of that piece of detritus.
John Abruzzi: So now you want him.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Every day, for the rest of his bid.
John Abruzzi: Seems you and I have something in common, then.

John Abruzzi: [Cut to the line heading back to the block. Michael gets pushed out of the line and into a side room by Gus. He looks around, worried] Easy now, Fish, don't make this any harder than it needs to be.
[He stands with his back to Michael. He turns around]
John Abruzzi: It's time we came to an arrangement, don't you think?
[T-Bag steps out from behind him and looks up]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Smiling] You know, I was thinkin' I was gonna cut you bile to stern soon as I laid eyes on you, but a lack-a day, you look so pretty when you're scared, don't you?
[He turns to Abruzzi]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Maybe we ought to get the love out of the way before we move onto the hate.
[He turns back to Michael]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: What do you say to that, Pretty?
[He licks his lips]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Hmm? Yeah... yeah, maybe it's time I lit up that leather once and for all.
[He puts the shank down on a wall. As soon as he's unarmed, Abruzzi elbows him hard in the face. Michael shields his face with his arm. Abruzzi fights T-Bag off and his group incapacitate him. Abruzzi turns back to Michael]
John Abruzzi: Ahh, he talks too much.
[He grabs the back of Michael's head and pulls it toward him]
John Abruzzi: You and I need to have a conversation.
[They walk back into the line]
John Abruzzi: What happened in there was my way of saying uh, I know I've been coming about this whole thing the wrong way.
[CO's rush to the room where T-Bag lays]
John Abruzzi: I'm trying to make amends here. Bygones for bygones.
[He holds out his hand]
Michael Scofield: You're a mercurial man, John.
John Abruzzi: I prefer bold.
[He laughs and walks forward]
John Abruzzi: [They walk out past the yard] Tell me what you need from me.
Michael Scofield: A trade. You get me a plane, I'll get you Fibonacci.
John Abruzzi: What do you need a plane for?
Michael Scofield: I think you know.
John Abruzzi: I help you, I'm in. You know that, don't you?
Michael Scofield: I do.
[Abruzzi nods]
John Abruzzi: I just gotta know the exact date and time.
Michael Scofield: I'll tell you soon enough.
John Abruzzi: Soon enough ain't gonna cut it. I need to be outside these walls before Fibonacci testifies.
Michael Scofield: You will be.
John Abruzzi: He testifies in one month.
Michael Scofield: Then we'll be out in plenty of time.
John Abruzzi: If not, you're a corpse. So you'd better cut the crap and tell me the exact date and time so I can start making the arrangements.
Michael Scofield: I don't know if I can trust you with that information yet.
John Abruzzi: Why not?
Michael Scofield: Like I said, John, you're a mercurial man.

"Prison Break: And Then There Were 7 (#1.11)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Hey, Sucre. I got a question about you and the rest of the Mexicans.
Fernando Sucre: I don't think I'll be able to help, seeing as I'm Puerto Rican.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Geographical semantics, amigo. I'm speaking about the general Latino population. How is it that a people so historically lazy ended up being such a big part of the nation's workforce?
Fernando Sucre: The way I see things, it's everyone else that's lazy. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any jobs for the immigrants. The ones sitting at home, collecting unemployment, the lazy ones? It's not us.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: You gonna let him talk about your people like that?
C-Note: Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Deliverance.
C-Note: [to T-Bag] You know what? We may be a team in here. But just so that you know: the minute we get over that wall, it's every man for himself... or sooner.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Hey, Sucre. I got a question about you and the rest of the Mexicans.
Fernando Sucre: I don't think I'll be able to help, seeing as I'm Puerto Rican.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Geographical semantics, amigo. I'm speaking about the general Latino population. How is it that a people so historically lazy ended up being such a big part of the nation's workforce?
Fernando Sucre: The way I see things, it's everyone else that's lazy. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any jobs for the immigrants. The ones sitting at home, collecting unemployment, the lazy ones? It's not us.

"Prison Break: Fire/Water (#3.2)" (2007)
Michael Scofield: I need you to trust me.
Lechero: Ooh, trust you? I don't know you good enough, brother. Teodoro!
[T-Bag comes in]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Si, Patron?
Lechero: Can I trust this bobo?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Him? He's a snake. He stabbed me in a back every chance he got.
Lechero: Huh...
[approaching Michael]
Lechero: A snake who stabs a man in the back? I never heard of such a creature before.

[Bellick sees T-Bag with a bottle of water]
Brad Bellick: T-Bag...
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Boy, you are gonna be drinkin' your own urine before you get any of this.

"Prison Break: Otis (#2.2)" (2006)
Dr. Marvin Gudat: There is a belief in my religion that I know to be true, and it applies to everyone, Hindu or not. The acts we commit in this life determine where we go in the next, and he who commits evil can never hope for eternal happiness.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Never been a goal of mine, Doc. I'm more a here-and-now type.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [to Dr. Gudat] I'll tell you something I know is true. The Indians here, the Tomahawk, some of them believed...well, used to believe before all of them were slaughtered...when a warrior kills another in battle, he absorbs the fallen warrior's spirit. So this is not the end for you doc. You're in me now.

"Prison Break: Odd Man Out (#1.12)" (2005)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: Pardon me for interrupting, but, uh, what's that smell?
[Sniffs the air]
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: It smells a little like, conspiracy.

Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [to Westmoreland] You know what I can't understand is why somebody like you wants to get out of here anyways. How you gonna survive, huh? The world is all different now, scary. They got computer phones, boobies made out of silicone, you won't know what to do!

"Prison Break: Go (#1.21)" (2006)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [as they hear the alarm going of] We're screwed. We're screwed.
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Come on, let's go.
Fernando Sucre: Michael, we gotta go back.
Michael Scofield: We're moving forward. Stick with the plan.
Benjamin Miles 'C-Note' Franklin: Do your ears work, fool? Do you hear that?
Michael Scofield: It's the fire alarm in the psych ward.
Fernando Sucre: How do you know?
Michael Scofield: I set it off.
Fernando Sucre: Why?

Correctional Officer Rizzo Green: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. I ain't a hero for 14 dollars an hour. You do what you will.
Michael Scofield: Uncuff my brother.
Correctional Officer Rizzo Green: You got it, boss.
Correctional Officer Rizzo Green: [He has uncuffed Burrows] Pretend I ain't here, boss.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Yeah. You and the radio.
[He hits the C.O]

"Prison Break: The Legend (#4.10)" (2008)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [regarding the death of Brad Bellick] Old Brad. As my pappy used to say, "Stand by your glasses steady, and drink to your comrades eyes. Here's a toast to the dead already, and hurrah for the next to die."

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Where's Pretty and the fat man?

"Prison Break: Bad Blood (#2.17)" (2007)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I am not the animal you think you see before you. I am the laws of karma all come down wrong. Do ya' understand?
Susan Hollander: [shaking her head] I don't.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: What I'm tryin' to say is that... I am the sin of my father.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I am the last in the line of Bagwells. The tail end of the corrupted breed. The Earth, thank God, shall see no more of our generations.

"Prison Break: Resurrection: Ogygia (#1.1)" (2017)
Lincoln Burrows: It's impossible.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: That's what I thought.
Lincoln Burrows: Why'd he send it to you?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Again, what I thought. And then I gave the words another look-see. Maybe that's the answer. "By your hand you shall know the glories of your progeny and our world will be made right forevermore." Hell if I know what that means. But just like that envelope's addressed to me, those words are addressed to me. Got to be!
Lincoln Burrows: Get out.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I'm trying to work with you here. Is there any possible way your brother could've survived?
Lincoln Burrows: My brother's dead.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Th... then who sent this? And why?
Lincoln Burrows: Get out.
[T-Bag leans down to take the picture, but Lincoln stops him]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: At least let me take my rightful correspondence.
[seeing Linc's stoic look]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Oh, I made a copy, Burrows. I knew you'd be the same obstinate son of a beyotch you always been, but I'd hoped you'd seen the light. But you are what you is and you is what you are.
[he turns to leave]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Still, I'm telling you, fate has got us joined at the hip somehow.

Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Lincolny-linc. All huffin' and puffin'. Don't you look at me like I'm trash. My house is in order. I'm clear with the government, the D.O.C., and my God. Doesn't appear to be the same with you. Look at you, all backslid. You're supposed to be going up in the world as you age, or did you not get the memo?
Lincoln Burrows: You don't get off my deck, I'm gonna crack your skull.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I wouldn't do that. Seems fate has deigned to join us at the hip once again, despite our mutual contempt.
[showing him the envelope he received in prison]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Have a look-see.
[Lincoln opens the envelope and takes the contents out]
Lincoln Burrows: Where'd you get this?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Received it on release earlier this week. No return address.
Lincoln Burrows: If you're playing me, I'll kill you.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Take a look at that postmark on that. I may be a sophisti-cat, but not so sophisticated as to forge something like that. Besides, what angle could I possibly have in coming here and telling you that it looks like your brother might just be alive?

"Prison Break: Interference (#3.5)" (2007)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: In this world, sister, we are all prostitutes. You are a queen!

"Prison Break: The Key (#1.19)" (2006)
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: [Sucre is reunited with the group after being in solitary, and everyone is hugging him] Y'all can sign each other's yearbooks later.

"Prison Break: Orientación (#3.1)" (2007)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Playing by yourself. Same old Pretty. Just not good at making friends, are you?
Michael Scofield: We got nothing to say to each other.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: On another note, on a big picture note, them big government types that shook me down so hard, why is it they wanted you here? Was it Sona they was interested in? That's what I'm thinking. Want me to get you down here, up in this very county. What do you think it is, huh? You think it's Sona? Who'd be interested in a dump like this?

"Prison Break: Unearthed (#2.9)" (2006)
Brad Bellick: So this is where Theodore practiced "pervert knows best."
[Geary laughs]
Brad Bellick: This is where he had his family supper. And that, I believe, is where you and Miss Hollander expressed your love. Tell me little Teddy, did you make her wear Doctor Dentons and hold a lunch box? Help you get all worked up?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Bradley, I couldn't expect a grown man who still lives with his mamma to understand the machinations of love.

"Prison Break: Sona (#2.22)" (2007)
Captain Brad Bellick: Where's the money?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Pretty boy's got it. He's out there with a royal flush and you're in here with a busted straight. That hardly seems right, does it?
Captain Brad Bellick: Your hand don't look much better.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Maybe I got an ace up my sleeve.

"Prison Break: Hell or High Water (#3.12)" (2008)
Guard #1: Take off your pants!
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Excuse me, signor?
Guard #1: I said take off your pants!
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: If I knew you boys partied like this at Sona, I woulda never tried to escape...

"Prison Break: Bolshoi Booze (#2.11)" (2006)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: It is amazing what you can pick up at an army-navy store...
Roy Geary: All that torture stuff, that was Bellick's idea. And if you ask me, he took the whole thing way too far. Why don't I give you half of the money and call it a day. All right! 60-40. Come on T. We can deal!
[T-Bag has a long stare at Roy, then comes at him with a champagne bottle]

"Prison Break: Safe and Sound (#4.5)" (2008)
Receptionist: So...
[Theodore turns around startled]
Receptionist: ...couple of scruffy guys walk in, tell me they are from
Receptionist: the insurance company and they offer me 10,000$ if I knew where you are.
Receptionist: Something tells me there is a better offer on the table.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Well I be Trish-Ann, you just caught yourself a leprechaun, and as the legend goes, you got yourself one wish, anything in the world...
Receptionist: Oh really?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: ...and I am bound to grant it
Receptionist: Yeah? Well your commencement check sitting on my desk waiting to be signed. Thats a pretty nice pot of gold.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Before you say another word
[looks around]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: now it's true leprechauns cannot refuse their captors demands but
[pauses as he approaches her]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: if they deem her to be greedy or covetous with ever she desires will certainly be accompanied with disastrous tidings...
[pauses and smiles]
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: ... or so the legend goes.
Receptionist: [thinks of her options] 3% of all your commission from here on out.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [smiles] done.

"Breakout Kings: The Bag Man (#1.3)" (2011)
Lloyd Lowery: When I started this case, I thought I was gonna get some great insight into why you are the way you are. A look into a complex psyche. A glimpse into the neurological map of a mad man that could show some light on some bigger truths that could maybe help other sick people one day. As I got close and personal with you and your handiwork, I found the truth. It's a small one though. As unexciting as it may sound, some machines just come out of the factory broken. You're a broken machine.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [after Lowery has left the room] No shit.

"Prison Break: Resurrection: The Prisoner's Dilemma (#1.4)" (2017)
Paul Kellerman: State Department has been looking for Poseidon for years, you idiot. He's a rogue CIA operative. Nobody knows who he is.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Here we go.
Paul Kellerman: I know it's a little above your pay grade, being a common criminal. I mean, we're talking about a single man. Right? A hawk who apparently doesn't like how the White House goes about foreign policy, and decided to take matters into his own hands. Right? Not with armies, not with invasions, but by getting a single person killed, by getting a single person elected to office, by getting a single person released from prison.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Prison. Like the one in Yemen where Michael's at.
Paul Kellerman: You want my guess? It's Abu Ramal that Poseidon wants free.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Guy I seen on the prison telly. Wait, I... I thought CIA was supposed to kill terrorists, not release them.
Paul Kellerman: Poseidon is no longer CIA. He doesn't report to anybody. He just pursues his own ideology. Okay, for instance, listen. Let's say you think Russia and Iran are having too much influence in the Middle East, and you don't think Washington is getting the job done. You free Ramal. Sure, he's an Islamic radical nut job, but he will fight Iran and Russia for you.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Paul Kellerman: And what's so shrewd about Poseidon is he does it all without a network, which is why he's so hard to find.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: One man can pull strings like that?
Paul Kellerman: One man manipulating a handful of others. Abu Ramal is a monster. And there's a spot in hell reserved for him, but the hottest spot is reserved for Poseidon, because he is letting Ramal loose on the world again. Those men, they have the blood of thousands - *thousands* - on their hands. Compared to them, you and me are a couple of angels.

"Prison Break: Eagles and Angels (#4.4)" (2008)
Michael Scofield: What are you doing in Los Angeles?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I was thinking about maybe getting me a career in pictures.

"Prison Break: The Art of the Deal (#3.13)" (2008)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [addressing the prisoners] Lechero is dead! I come before you now to bury the man. Not to praise him, for there is nothing praiseworthy about his rule here. Having one of our own dictate to us? Well, that's just not the natural order. All cons are equal! I have the last remnants of Lechero's cruel empire in my hand. An empire which I willingly participated in and witnessed first-hand. Money. Made off of your backs and off the backs of your family! It's yours. And I'm here to tell you, I'm giving it back.

"Prison Break: Selfless (#4.12)" (2008)
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: [after Gretchen pulls a gun on him] You can NOT be serious!

"Prison Break: VS. (#4.18)" (2009)
Donald Self: [Self, Lincoln, and Mahone return from a mission where T-Bag was captured and beaten as the diversion. T-Bag is cut, bruised, and bleeding] What happened to you?
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: Where's Scylla, huh?
Donald Self: They left before we could get it.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I get the ass kicking of a lifetime, and you come back empty handed?
Alexander Mahone: [Holds up small piece of paper] We got this.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: A Post-It Note? That's what you got? How bout some Elmer's Glue, did ya get any of that?

"Prison Break: By the Skin and the Teeth (#1.15)" (2006)
Michael Scofield: The only way we're getting into that infirmary is from beneath. We're going to have to find another way.
[Looks at a building that says Fox River Asylum on the front]
Charles Westmoreland: [Sees what Scofield is looking at] The Psych Ward?
Michael Scofield: It's the only building that shares a sub-surface line with the infirmary.
Theodore "T-Bag" Bagwell: You telling me, to get to the infirmary we gotta go through the Whack Shack?

"Prison Break: Deal or No Deal (#4.13)" (2008)
Don Self: All right, let's go. And Bagwell's staying here.
Gretchen Morgan: You will remain captive in my negativity if you lay a hand on either one of them.
Theodore 'T-Bag' Bagwell: I warned you not to screw me over.