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Quotes for
Larry Zoolander (Character)
from Zoolander (2001)

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Zoolander (2001)
Larry Zoolander: Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.

Larry Zoolander: I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!
[high-pitched cough]
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man!

[after being in a coal mine for a day]
Derek Zoolander: [high-pitched cough] ... I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there.
Larry Zoolander: For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day. Talk to me in thirty years.

Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see?

Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.