Hansel
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Hansel (Character)
from Zoolander (2001)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Zoolander (2001)
Derek Zoolander: What say we settle this on the runway... Han-Solo?
Hansel: Are you challenging me to a walk-off... Boo-Lander?

Hansel: I friggin' worship you, man.

Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.

Hansel: I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.

Hansel: Taste my pain, bitch!

Matilda: What time is it?
Derek Zoolander: Almost five.
Matilda: What? Hey, guys, that show is in three hours. Derek is dead unless we get that evidence. Do you guys...
Hansel: Whoa, whoa, easy! How 'bout a "Good afternoon, Derek and Hansel. Thanks for the freak fest last night."

Hansel: What's the dealio, yo?

Hansel: You is talking loco and I like it!

[Talking about the files]
Hansel: They're *in* the computer?

Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: You can read minds?

Derek Zoolander: Why do you hate models, Matilda?
Matilda: Honestly?
Hansel: Yes.
Matilda: I think they're vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered.
Hansel: I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?

Hansel: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Hansel: Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?

Hansel: Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!

Hansel: The results are in amigo. What's left to ponder?
[Derek glares at him]
Hansel: Nice Comeback! Ha ha.

Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Derek Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

Hansel: [while in an interview, dressed in angel's wings] I hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of.

Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't...
Matilda: Done it in a while, yeh.
Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?

Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first.

Hansel: Deal with that!

Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra!

Hansel: Trippin' on acid changed our whole perspective on shit!

Derek Zoolander: Who am I?
Derek's Reflection: I don't know.
Derek Zoolander: I guess I have a lot of things to ponder.
Hansel: The results are in, amigo! What's left to ponder?
[Derek stares at Hansel]
Hansel: Nice comeback!

Olaf: Cool story, Hansel.
Hansel: Thanks, Olaf.

Hansel: Whatever dude... whatever. Peace. God Bless.

Hansel: This has been an emotional day for all of us. I think we should get naked.
Matilda: What?
Hansel: Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.


Zoolander 2 (2016)
Hansel: [from trailer] OLD?
Derek Zoolander: [pronouncing the sign incorrectly] LAMÉ?

Hansel: I'll go get Derek, tell my Orgy I love them!

Hansel: Is it true you have sex for ten hours?
Sting: No comment.
[silently]
Sting: Fifteen...

Hansel: Neil Degrasse Tyson? You don't know who you are, either?

Hansel: WHO AM I!

Katy Perry: Who-oo-oo-ooohh am-mm-mm-mm I-ah-ah-aye?
Hansel: That was beautiful...

Hansel: My mom told me my dad was a beat cop.