Jacobim Mugatu
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Quotes for
Jacobim Mugatu (Character)
from Zoolander (2001)

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Zoolander (2001)
Mugatu: They're break-dance fighting.

Mugatu: Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.

Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!

[after he pokes a girl with a pin]
Mugatu: Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!

Mugatu: It's that damn Hansel! He's so hot right now!

Mugatu: Obey my dog!

[after spitting out and spilling some bad coffee all over his assistant]
Mugatu: Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?

Mugatu: Todd, are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?
Todd: My mistake, Jacobim!

Derek Zoolander: What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read... if they can't even fit inside the building?
Mugatu: Derek, this is just a small...
Derek Zoolander: I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!

Mugatu: Hansel... so hot right now... Hansel.

Mugatu: [hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus and I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!

Mugatu: You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything.

Mugatu: Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!

Mugatu: As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!

Mugatu: I'm so tired. No Todd, not now!
Todd: [handing Mugatu the phone] It's Maury.
Mugatu: [to Maury] Tell me something good.

Zoolander 2 (2016)
Mugatu: They're Sexy Fighting!

Mugatu: You're asking me why I killed Justin Bieber?

Mugatu: You really are amazingly stupid, aren't you?

Mugatu: He's still so hot right now!

Mugatu: Prison changed me. I'm a psycho!

Mugatu: Prison changed me! I'm bad to the core now!

Mugatu: Shut up, Valentino! Just shut up! Everyone shut up! There is no Fountain of Youth!
Tommy Hilfiger: What?
Mugatu: I mean, Adam and Eve and Steve? Are you serious? You actually believed that crap?
Alexander Wang: What?
Mugatu: It's literally... it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I get it if Alexander Wang believes it, but the rest of you, come on!
Anna Wintour: Oh, please. Without me, you'd still be cutting patterns at Men's Wearhouse.
Mugatu: Oh, look, it's the White Witch from Narnia! Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's just Anna Wintour! I'll knock your teeth out.
Anna Wintour: I'll rip your goddamn tongue out.
Mugatu: Check out the new spring collection from Hilfiger, brought to you by white privilege.
Tommy Hilfiger: You couldn't make a down jacket to save your life!
Mugatu: Asshole.