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: She looks really... smart.
: You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.
: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox. Jason
: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it. Ben Stone
: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes. Jason
: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
: Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.
: I'm going to be there to rear your child. Jason
: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!
: I can't believe you didn't fucking wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT? Jason
: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man? Jonah
: I can't believe you did this. You fucked everything up. Jason
: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity. Jonah
: Well that's true. Everyone knows that. Jason
: What goes up must come down.
: [answering the phone
] Hello? Jason
: Hey! What's up, Daddy? What are you doing? Ben Stone
: Just smoking a joint. Drinking some beers. You know? Rockin.
: You guys aren't suppose to make fun at me thats not part of the rules. Jason
: Martin why didn't you just listen when I was explaining the rules? You just looked at me with that blank stare of yours - it was like talking to a wax statue.
: You stay here. Martin
: Why? Jason
: Cause your face looks like a vagina. Martin
: Dick! Jonah
: How's it going Crockett, been hanging with Tubbs lately? Martin
: Come on man, I'm getting it from all angles here, I really don't like it anymore. Jonah
: I know, me either. Was it weird when you changed your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam? Martin
: Yeah, it was really awkward. Jonah
: All right, see you later Scorcese on coke. Jay
: [Makes a roar like Chewbacca from Star Wars
: What the fuck was that? Jay
: You know, Chewbacca. Martin
: Oh, another beard joke, fucking hilarious!
: We got pinkeye. Ben Stone
: Were you giving butterfly kisses or something? Jason
: Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities. Jay
: Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere. Pete
: You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow? Jonah
: Totally! Pete
: That's awesome! Jonah
: Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye? Martin
: No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.
: Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning.
: Dude, I didn't go to Yale to work 24 hours a day. Jason
: Dude, you went to a city college. Jonah
: I went where I went, alright?
: [slamming the ball and winning the point at Ping-Pong
] Fuck off! Jason
: Yeah, well, you still have a little dick, Cartman.