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Quotes for
Jason (Character)
from Knocked Up (2007)

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Knocked Up (2007)
Jason: She looks really... smart.

Jason: You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.

Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

Jason: Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.

Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!

Jonah: I can't believe you didn't fucking wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT?
Jason: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man?
Jonah: I can't believe you did this. You fucked everything up.
Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity.
Jonah: Well that's true. Everyone knows that.
Jason: What goes up must come down.

Ben Stone: [answering the phone] Hello?
Jason: Hey! What's up, Daddy? What are you doing?
Ben Stone: Just smoking a joint. Drinking some beers. You know? Rockin.

Martin: You guys aren't suppose to make fun at me thats not part of the rules.
Jason: Martin why didn't you just listen when I was explaining the rules? You just looked at me with that blank stare of yours - it was like talking to a wax statue.

Jason: You stay here.
Martin: Why?
Jason: Cause your face looks like a vagina.
Martin: Dick!
Jonah: How's it going Crockett, been hanging with Tubbs lately?
Martin: Come on man, I'm getting it from all angles here, I really don't like it anymore.
Jonah: I know, me either. Was it weird when you changed your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?
Martin: Yeah, it was really awkward.
Jonah: All right, see you later Scorcese on coke.
Jay: [Makes a roar like Chewbacca from Star Wars]
Martin: What the fuck was that?
Jay: You know, Chewbacca.
Martin: Oh, another beard joke, fucking hilarious!

Jonah: We got pinkeye.
Ben Stone: Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?
Jason: Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.
Jay: Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.
Pete: You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?
Jonah: Totally!
Pete: That's awesome!
Jonah: Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?
Martin: No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.

Jason: Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning.

Jonah: Dude, I didn't go to Yale to work 24 hours a day.
Jason: Dude, you went to a city college.
Jonah: I went where I went, alright?

Jonah: [slamming the ball and winning the point at Ping-Pong] Fuck off!
Jason: Yeah, well, you still have a little dick, Cartman.