IMDb > Jason (Character) > Quotes
Jason
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Jason (Character)
from Knocked Up (2007)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Knocked Up (2007)
Jason: She looks really... smart.

Jason: You wanna know who I want to get pregnant? Felicity Huffman. Ever since I saw Transamerica, I can't get her out of my head.

Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
Jason: It's not herpes if it's everywhere.

Jason: Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.

Jay: I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!

Jonah: I can't believe you didn't fucking wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT?
Jason: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man?
Jonah: I can't believe you did this. You fucked everything up.
Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you have to realize. You gotta know all the tricks like, for example, if a woman's on top she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity.
Jonah: Well that's true. Everyone knows that.
Jason: What goes up must come down.

Ben Stone: [answering the phone] Hello?
Jason: Hey! What's up, Daddy? What are you doing?
Ben Stone: Just smoking a joint. Drinking some beers. You know? Rockin.

Martin: You guys aren't suppose to make fun at me thats not part of the rules.
Jason: Martin why didn't you just listen when I was explaining the rules? You just looked at me with that blank stare of yours - it was like talking to a wax statue.

Jason: You stay here.
Martin: Why?
Jason: Cause your face looks like a vagina.
Martin: Dick!
Jonah: How's it going Crockett, been hanging with Tubbs lately?
Martin: Come on man, I'm getting it from all angles here, I really don't like it anymore.
Jonah: I know, me either. Was it weird when you changed your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?
Martin: Yeah, it was really awkward.
Jonah: All right, see you later Scorcese on coke.
Jay: [Makes a roar like Chewbacca from Star Wars]
Martin: What the fuck was that?
Jay: You know, Chewbacca.
Martin: Oh, another beard joke, fucking hilarious!

Jonah: We got pinkeye.
Ben Stone: Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?
Jason: Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.
Jay: Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.
Pete: You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?
Jonah: Totally!
Pete: That's awesome!
Jonah: Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?
Martin: No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.

Jason: Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning.

Jonah: Dude, I didn't go to Yale to work 24 hours a day.
Jason: Dude, you went to a city college.
Jonah: I went where I went, alright?

Jonah: [slamming the ball and winning the point at Ping-Pong] Fuck off!
Jason: Yeah, well, you still have a little dick, Cartman.