Alison Scott
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Quotes for
Alison Scott (Character)
from Knocked Up (2007)

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Knocked Up (2007)
Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish...?
Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with accents.

Alison Scott: [to Debbie] What do you think? He's funny, right?
Ben Stone: [to Debbie's kids] Fetch!
Debbie: [to Alison] He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

Ben Stone: [to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...
Alison Scott: Okay, just stop talking.

Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

Alison Scott: I was drunk!
Ben Stone: Was your vagina drunk?

Alison Scott: Why don't you go FUCK your FUCKING Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!

Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?

Ben Stone: Do you want to do it doggie style?
Alison Scott: You're not going to fuck me like a dog.
Ben Stone: It's doggie style. It's just the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.

Alison Scott: Just do it!

Ben Stone: You know, the best thing for a hangover is weed. Do you smoke weed?
Alison Scott: Not really.
Ben Stone: You don't?
Alison Scott: No.
Ben Stone: At all?
Alison Scott: Uh-uh.
Ben Stone: Like... in the morning?
Alison Scott: No... I just... don't.
Ben Stone: It is, like, the best medicine. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just... got high and... it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok.

Jack: ...there's gonna be some things that you are going to be able to get, that other people in the office don't get... one of them: Gym membership.
Alison Scott: You want me to lose weight?
Jack: [laughing] No, I don't want you to lose weight!
Jill: No, uh, we can't legally ask you to do that.
Jack: We didn't say lose weight... I might say tighten.
Alison Scott: Tight?
Jack: Tighter.
Jill: Just liked toned and smaller.
Jack: Don't make everything smaller, I don't wanna generalize that way... tighter.
Jill: We don't want you to lose weight, we just want you to be healthy. Y'know, by eating less.
Alison Scott: OK.
Jill: We would just like it if you go home and step on the scale, and write down how much you weigh, and subtract it by like, 20.
Alison Scott: 20.
Jill: And then weigh that much.

Dr. Kuni: Do you smoke?
Alison Scott: No.
Dr. Kuni: Do, you, smoke?

Ben Stone: What time is it?
Alison Scott: 7:30
Ben Stone: Why the fuck are we awake? Let's go back to sleep.
Alison Scott: I have to go to work.
Ben Stone: Really?
Alison Scott: Uh, do you need to... get to work or anything?
Ben Stone: No, I'm uh... no work today hahahaha.

Alison Scott: Hey...
Ben Stone: I'm naked.
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: [whispers] Did we have sex?
Alison Scott: Yes.
Ben Stone: Nice.

Alison Scott: I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong.
Ben Stone: It's okay... I didn't...

Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Pregnant... with emotion?
Alison Scott: Pregnant with a baby.

Alison Scott: I'm actually doing my first on-air interview today.
Ben Stone: With who?
Alison Scott: Uh, Matthew Fox.
Ben Stone: Matthew Fox from Lost?
Alison Scott: Yeah.
Ben Stone: You know what's interesting about him?
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: Nothing!

Alison Scott: I love your curly hair! It's great... do you use product or anything?
Ben Stone: No... I use, uh, jew it's called.

Alison Scott: [discussing her pregnancy with her mother] I don't have to tell them right away, I'm only gonna start to show when I'm like, I don't know, 6 months or something like that.
Alison's Mom: 3 months.
Alison Scott: No way.
Alison's Mom: Fat in the face, jowls, fat ass.
Alison Scott: Debbie didn't get fat.
Alison's Mom: Debbie is a freak of nature.

Alison Scott: I hope your apartment's big enough for the three of us.
Ben Stone: Oh it definitely is. That's why I got one in East LA. The rent, it's HUGE. The only thing is we have to decide if we're gonna be Crips or Bloods before we get there.
Alison Scott: Well, I look good in red.
Ben Stone: I look good in blue... The fighting continues.

Jill: [walking past Alison] Hey, Alison, great job.
Alison Scott: Oh, thanks!
Jill: [walking away] ... for you...

Alison Scott: Is she camera ready ?

Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking bong you fuck!
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too! For once!