Professor Porter
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Quotes for
Professor Porter (Character)
from Tarzan (1999)

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Tarzan (1999)
Professor Porter: Oh, Janie Jane! What an amazing discovery! A man with no language, no human behavior...
Jane Porter: And no respect for personal boundaries.
Professor Porter: How do you mean?
Jane Porter: [gets extremely close to Professor Porter] He was this close to me, daddy, just staring at me.
[Goes back to blackboard and finishes drawing of Tarzan]
Jane Porter: He was confused at first, as if he had never seen another human before. His eyes were intense... and focused, and... I've never seen eyes like those before.
Professor Porter: Oh. Shall I - ahem - leave you and the blackboard alone for a moment?
Jane Porter: Oh, daddy, stop it.

Jane Porter: Oh, Tarzan, you have no idea what's in store for you. You're going to see the world, and all kinds of people will want to meet you. Leaders, scientists, writers.
Professor Porter: Yes, Darwin and Kipling. Queen Victoria!
Jane Porter: I haven't met her, but I hear she's awfully nice.

Professor Porter: Oh, those magnificent creatures, shivering in cages. What is this world coming to?
[He hits his fist on the wall; suddenly the ship shifts to the side, from Tantor getting on board]
Professor Porter: Oh, by Jove. Don't know my own strength.

Professor Porter: Looks like a man but walks like an ape. He could be the missing link!
Clayton: Or our link to the gorillas.

Professor Porter: [after telling Jane to stay with Tarzan] What am I doing? Captain! Tell them you never found us! After all, people get lost in the jungle all the time!
[jumps out of the boat]

Jane Porter: [Describing how Tarzan walks] He bent his elbows out, and he walked like this.
Professor Porter: Oh, I see! Just like Aunt Isabel.

Jane Porter: And there were gorillas.
Professor Porter, Clayton: Gorillas?
Clayton: You found the gorillas? Where, Jane? Where?
Jane Porter: He left with them.
Professor Porter: Who did? Who?
Jane Porter: Tarzan.
Clayton: Tarzan?
Jane Porter: The ape man.

Clayton: [Draws a crude gorilla on Jane's chalkboard and points to it with the chalk] Gorilla.
Tarzan: [Takes the chalk and examines it] Gor-illa.
Professor Porter: [Excited] Oh! Oh! He's got it!
Tarzan: Gor-illa!
[Proceeds to scribble wildly on the chalkboard]
Tarzan: Gorrrrr-illllla!
Professor Porter: Oh, perhaps not...

[after being returned to camp by Tarzan]
Jane Porter: Oh, my goodness! Daddy, I was walking. There was... was a little baby, little baby monkey, and I drew a picture!
Professor Porter: Yes, go on.
Jane Porter: Suddenly, the monkey starts crying.
Professor Porter: Oh, poor thing.
Jane Porter: But, I turn around and there's a whole FLEET OF THEM. An ARMY of monkeys! A huge tree full of monkeys, screaming at me!
[imitates a monkey screaming at him]
Professor Porter: [laughing at her] That's theropithecus baboonus! She's very good at this!
Jane Porter: Terrified! I was terrified! Suddenly, I was swinging, on a vine, in the air! Swinging, in the air!
Professor Porter: With the monkeys!
Jane Porter: I was in the air! And then, I was all surrounded!
Professor Porter: What did you do?
Jane Porter: And, Daddy! They took my boot!
Professor Porter: Your boot - those are the ones I bought you.
Jane Porter: And I was SAVED. I was saved by a flying, wild man in a loincloth.
Professor Porter: Loincloth? Good Lord.
Clayton: What is she talking about?
Professor Porter: I haven't the foggiest idea. Takes after her mother, you know. She came up with stories like that. Not about men in loincloths, of course.


Tarzan in Manhattan (1989) (TV)
Archimedes Porter: And that's all you know about this current weirdo?
Jane Porter: He's not a current weirdo
Tarzan: Ah, I see. He's just ah, Tarzan of the Apes? Who escaped from a detention center and is looking for his lost chimp, Chiquita?
Jane Porter, Tarzan: Cheetah
Archimedes Porter: I see. Jane, look, I never interfere in your personal life, do I?
Jane Porter: Since when?
Archimedes Porter: Yeah but I'm telling you - this guy is a loser
Archimedes Porter: Hey, come here for a minute. You got twenty four hours to get out of town. That's it
Archimedes Porter: No Wait, no Dad you can't do that
Archimedes Porter: Why can't I do that? I run a business, a security business. I could lose my license. This guy is a fugitive from justice. And also a nutcase.
Archimedes Porter: I gotta go. It was great coffee. Pleasure meeting you. Get outta my daughter's life. And put on some clothes.