Bonnie Swanson
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Quotes for
Bonnie Swanson (Character)
from "Family Guy" (1999)

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"Family Guy: The Heartbreak Dog (#14.16)" (2016)
Bonnie Swanson: I couldn't stand another moment with Joe. It was a torture just watching him do a crossword puzzle.
Joe Swanson: Hey Bonnie, what's the five-letter-word for marriage?
Bonnie Swanson: Fraud.
Joe Swanson: Uuuuh, it's gotta start with a "U". UNION! Boy, you stink at this.

Stewie Griffin: [on Skype] Hey Brian, can you bring me up a snack? I'm supposed to be in bed.
Brian Griffin: Look, the other night was great. But it was a mistake.
Bonnie Swanson: You're right.
Stewie Griffin: Oh man, WHAAAAAAAT?
[Brian shuts down the laptop]

"Family Guy: Internal Affairs (#10.23)" (2012)
Joe Swanson: I want a divorce!
Bonnie Swanson: Well you're getting it!

"Family Guy: A Hero Sits Next Door (#1.5)" (1999)
Bonnie Swanson: The movers tracked grease all over the carpet. I've tried everything to get it out.
Lois Griffin: What about lemon juice?
Fan at ball game: What about club soda?
Stewie Griffin: What about shutting the hell up?

"Family Guy: The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire (#4.5)" (2005)
Bonnie Swanson: Somebody save him! He can't swim!
Peter Griffin: Oh he's not even kicking. Kick, Joe, kick!
Lois Griffin: Peter! He's a paraplegic!
Peter Griffin: That doesn't mean he can't hear! Kick, Joe, kick!

"Family Guy: Breaking Out Is Hard to Do (#4.9)" (2005)
Joe Swanson: [Joe is surprised to see fugitive Peter sumo wrestling] Oh, my God!
Bonnie Swanson: [off-screen] Did you walk?