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Quotes for
Greta (Character)
from Liar Liar (1997)

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Liar Liar (1997)
Greta: He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
Fletcher: [picking up phone and shouting] Stop breaking the law, asshole!

Greta: [after bailing Fletcher out of jail] Am I too late? Have you been sexually molested yet because I can circle the block.

Fletcher: [Fletcher is trying to convince Greta to believe her about Max's wish] You don't believe me, do you?
Greta: Of course not.
Fletcher: [laughs dryly] How ironic. Okay, ask me something you think I would normally lie about.
Greta: Alright. Remember, a few months ago, when I wanted a raise,
Fletcher: Forget it. I don't wanna do this!
Greta: and the company wouldn't give me one,
Fletcher: GRETA, PLEASE!
Greta: so you said you wanted to give me one out of your own pocket, but it would create jealously among the other secretaries. Now, was that true, or did you just not want to pony up the dough?
[Fletcher is speechless. Scene cuts to Greta packing her belongings]

Greta: Mr. Reede, several years ago a friend of mine had a burglar on her roof, a burglar. He fell through the kitchen skylight, landed on a cutting board, on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. The burglar sued my friend, he sued my friend. And because of guys like you *he won*. My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice?
Fletcher: No!
[Greta looks pleased, but then Fletcher continues]
Fletcher: I'd have got him ten.
[Greta stalks off, appalled]

Fat Coworker: What's Up, Fletcher?
Fletcher: Your cholesterol, Fatty! Dead man walkin'!
Randy: Hey, Fletcher!
Fletcher: Hey! You're not important enough to remember!
Zit Boy: What'll it be, Fletcher?
Fletcher: A pock mark, eventually!
Greta: Mr. Reede?
Fletcher: Don't ask! For God sake, don't ask!

Greta: [in an annoyed tone] You told me you bought this picture frame at Tiffany's. Tiffany's?
Fletcher: [high-pitched voice] Garage sale six-fifty marked down from ten.
[Greta drops picture frame and smashes]

Fletcher: [on phone] HI! Judge Stevens I'm scheduled to be in your courtroom in half an hour? Judge Stevens I badly, BADLY need a continuance!... Ill? Am I ill? That is the perfect question for you to ask!.
[to Greta]
Fletcher: GRETA please LIE to him for me!
Greta: I remember when you bought me this antique silver fram from tiffany's... TIFFANY'S?
Fletcher: [in a high pitched voice] ... Garage sale $6.50 marked down from $10.00!"

Fletcher: [Picks up a Blue Pen]
[to himself]
Fletcher: Okay, the pen is red... the pen is red...
[aloud]
Fletcher: The color of this pen is ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh
[laughs]
Fletcher: . This pen is reeeeeeeeeeehhh-
[pauses then announces dramatically]
Fletcher: The color of the pen that I HOLD in my hand is rrrrr-rrroyal blue!
[falls to the floor exhausted]
Fletcher: AHH!
Fletcher: [Grabs a piece of paper] Okay, if I can't say it, I'll write it!
[starts writing "The color of the pen is - " but his hand shakes away involuntarily]
Fletcher: No! You write! Write it!
[his hand automatically turns to point the pen at him and he wrestles it to the ground]
Greta: [Enters the office] Mister Reede? Are you alright?
Fletcher: [rises from behind the desk with 'Blue' written all over his face] It's blue. It's blue! The god damn pen is blue!