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Quotes for
Max Reede (Character)
from Liar Liar (1997)

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Liar Liar (1997)
Max Reede: Is wrestling real?
Fletcher: In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no.

Max Reede: If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?
Fletcher: Uh uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.

Max Reede: My dad? He's... a liar.
Teacher: A liar? I'm sure you don't mean a liar.
Max Reede: Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Teacher: Oh, you mean he's a lawyer.

Max Reede: Do the claw to mom, dad, do the claw to mom!
Fletcher: Uh-oh. You've found the claw's only weakness. Subzero temperatures.
[Splatting sound]
Audrey: So did you have any trouble finding the place?
Fletcher: All right, I'm late. I ran oughta gas! The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too. Good thing I was wearing neutral gang colors. Might've had to rip out my nine and bust a cap! My mind on my money and my money on my mind!
Audrey: They'd never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer.
Fletcher: Ooh. That was below the belt. Try to keep the gloves up.
Max Reede: Mom, dad's taking me to see wrestling!
Audrey: Ugh. Fletcher!
Fletcher: Ugh. Audrey!

Max Reede: I wish, for just one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.

Max Reede: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

[the lights turn on after Max makes a wish and blows out the candles]
Max Reede: Mom? Dad?
[Audrey and Fletcher are kissing]
Fletcher: MAX? Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again?
Max Reede: No. I wished for rollerblades!
Audrey: Uh... wanna cut the cake... Dad?
Fletcher: I would love to... but I have this horrible pain in my arm...
Audrey: Oh no... run ITS THE CLAW!
Fletcher: NOTHING CAN STOP THE CLAWWWW!

Max Reede: Look at what Dad got me!
Jerry: Woah, great! Hey, you know what? I have my glove in the car. Why don't you and I go to the park and play catch. Then we can rub oil in it, and wrap a big rubber band around it! It'll be great!
[to Fletcher]
Jerry: Hey, great gift, Dad!
Fletcher: [to Jerry] Thanks, son!

Fletcher: Max! It's 8:45, you made the wish at 8:15. I've been able to lie for the past half hour.
Max Reede: So you were - ?
Fletcher: No! It was the truth. I just wanted to be honest with you, Max. I always want to be honest with you.

Fletcher: Hey, creepy. Happy Birthday. How old are you now? 22? 23?
Max Reede: I'm 5, Dad.
Fletcher: Okay.
[pretends to write]
Fletcher: Return the beer keg. Cancel the dancing girls.

Max Reede: [shows his baseball glove] Look at what Dad got me.
Jerry: Wow, great. Hey, you know what, I have my glove in the car. Maybe we could stop at the park on the way home and play catch. Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it. It'll be great.
[to Fletcher]
Jerry: Hey, great gift, Dad.
Fletcher: [sarcastically] Thanks, son.
[to Audrey]
Fletcher: I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. I plan to phase myself out as almost complete.

Fletcher: Maximus, I'm outta here.
Max Reede: Bye, Dad.
Fletcher: [to Jerry] Jerry, enjoy my wife.