Pvt. David Kenyon Webster
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Quotes for
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster (Character)
from "Band of Brothers" (2001)

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"Band of Brothers: Why We Fight (#1.9)" (2001)
Joseph Liebgott: [discussing their postwar plans] What about you, Web?
David Webster: I guess I'll finish school first, and then...
Joseph Liebgott: Wait a minute, *finish* school? You mean all this time you've been talking about "Harvard this" and "Harvard that" and you ain't even finished?
David Webster: For one thing, I haven't told you anything. But yes, yes, I haven't finished, so the fuck what?
Joseph Liebgott: All right, Web, breathe a little, Jesus. It's just the way you always talked, you know? We all figured that...
[trails off as Webster glares at him]
Joseph Liebgott: You know what, you're right. So the fuck what.

Cpt. Nixon: Hitler's dead.
Joseph Liebgott: Holy shit.
Cpt. Nixon: Shot himself in Berlin.
Sgt. Denver 'Bull' Randleman: Is the war over, sir?
Cpt. Nixon: No. We have orders to Berghtesgaden. We're gonna move out in one hour.
David Webster: Why? The man's not home. Should've killed himself three years ago, saved us a lot of trouble.
Cpt. Nixon: Yeah, he should've. But he didn't.

David Webster: Shut up! I said, shut up, you Nazi fuck!
[grabs baker]
German Baker: Ich-ich bin kein Nazi!
David Webster: Oh, you're not a Nazi? My mistake, you fat fucking prick. What about a human being? Are you one of those, or are you going to tell me that you never smelt the fucking stench?
[of the nearby concentration camp]
German Baker: Toten sie mich nicht! Bitte toten sie mich nicht!
["Don't kill me! Please don't kill me!"]
German Baker: Ich verstehe nicht was du da sagst!
Pvt. Joseph Lesniewski: Leave him alone, Web. He says he doesn't know what the hell you're talking about.
David Webster: Bullshit.


"Band of Brothers: Replacements (#1.4)" (2001)
SSgt. William 'Wild Bill' Guarnere: So, Heffron tell you about Doris yet?
Pvt. Lester 'Leo' Hashey: No.
SSgt. William 'Wild Bill' Guarnere: No? Mmmm. Well, then, I'm gonna educate you. We're getting ready to get on a plane for that first frog town we never jumped into. All of a sudden Heffron stops dead in his tracks. Bing and a bang and a boom. Everybody banging into each other. Heffron's just staring at the nose of the plane because on it is panted this beautiful pinup. And written underneath: "Darling Doris." Doris, which just happens to be the name of the skirt who just, that day, sent Babe one of them letters. You know, the... Web, what do you call them letters that the broads send?
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Uh, "Dear John" letter.
SSgt. William 'Wild Bill' Guarnere: That's it, a "Dear Babe" letter. Well anyway, lucky for Babe, Patton overruns our drop zone. Mission can called. In other words, Babe don't have to risk getting inside old Doris again. Hah!


"Band of Brothers: Crossroads (#1.5)" (2001)
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Heraus! Hande hoch! Schnell! Schnell!
SS Panzer Grenadier: Bitte, nicht schiessen... Polish!
SSgt. Floyd 'Tab' Talbert: What's he saying?
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: He's telling me that they're Polish.
SSgt. Floyd 'Tab' Talbert: There ain't no Poles on the goddamned SS!


"Band of Brothers: Points (#1.10)" (2001)
German MP: France. France was the best.
Pfc. John Janovec: Really?
German MP: Yeah. Five years. I think I was in every country, but France was the best.
[Janovec lights the MP's cigarette for him]
German MP: Italy would be second for me. Russia is not desirable. Ukraine... it was okay.
[he waves a car through the checkpoint]
Pfc. John Janovec: So, uh... when do you get out?
German MP: My unit is discharged. We leave when my captain gets transferred. It is the end of my second war.
Pfc. John Janovec: Jesus!
[a truck of discharged German soldiers pulls up to the checkpoint]
German MP: I'm going home now. Mannheim.
Pfc. John Janovec: I'll take this one.
[he walks up to the truck]
Pfc. John Janovec: [in badly-accented German] Passkarte, Bitte.
[the driver hands over the papers; Janovec examines them]
Pfc. John Janovec: Okay.
[he waves them through, then salutes the Germans in the back of the truck as Webster pulls up in a Jeep]
Pfc. John Janovec: Hey, Webster, my relief!
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Don't salute the Germans.
Pfc. John Janovec: Aw, come on, I sorta get a kick out of it. Anyway, I got me a new enemy: Japs. Seventy-five points. How about you, I mean, you're a Toccoa guy, right? How many you got?
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Wouldn't you like to know.
[a German on crutches hobbles up to Webster and hands him his papers; Webster examines them]
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Discharged, huh?
[Janovec tries to look at the papers]
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Go ahead, take off, it's my turn.
Pfc. John Janovec: Okay, see you back at the farm.
[Janovec walks over to the waiting Jeep]
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: Eighty-one.
Pfc. John Janovec: Huh?
Pvt. David Kenyon Webster: I have eighty-one points.
[Janovec laughs]
Pfc. John Janovec: Well, that's just not good enough.