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Quotes for
Max Quordlepleen (Character)
from "The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy" (1981)

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"The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Episode #1.5" (1981)
Max Quordlepleen: So many of you come time and time again to watch this final end of everything, which I think is really wonderful, and then to return home to your own eras and raise families, and strive for new and better societies and fight terrible wars for what you know is right, it gives one real hope for the whole future of lifekind.
[pauses a beat]
Max Quordlepleen: Except of course we know it hasn't got one.

Max Quordlepleen: So, ladies and gentlemen, take your places at table. The candles are lit, the band is playing, and as the force-shielded dome above us slides apart, revealing a dark and sullen sky, hung with the ancient light of livid, swollen stars, I can see that we are in for a fabulous evening's apocalypse!

Max Quordlepleen: Is everyone having one last wonderful time? Good.

Max Quordlepleen: Believe me, ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing penultimate about this one. This one, ladies and gentlemen, is the proverbial "it". After this, there is void... emptiness... oblivion... absolute nothing.
[dramatic pause]
Max Quordlepleen: Except, of course, for the sweet trolley and our fine selection of Aldebaran liqueurs. And for once, ladies and gentlemen, there is no need to worry about having a hangover in the mornings, for there won't be no more mornings!

Max Quordlepleen: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. The skies begin to tremble, nature collapses into the streaming void. In fifteen seconds' time, the universe itself will be at an end. See where the light of infinity bursts in upon us.

Max Quordlepleen: And lastly, a party of devout believers from the Church of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon.
Max Quordlepleen: Still waiting for the Second Coming? Well, fellows, let's hope he hurries. He's got eight minutes left.
Max Quordlepleen: No, but seriously, no offense meant. I know one shouldn't make fun of deeply-held beliefs. So, I think, a great big hand for the Great Prophet Zarquon ...
Max Quordlepleen: - wherever he's got to.