Trillian
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Quotes for
Trillian (Character)
from "The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy" (1981)

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Marvin: I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
Trillian: Well, we have something that may take your mind off it.
Marvin: It won't work, I have an exceptionally large mind.
Trillian: Yeah, we know.

Trillian: Let's go somewhere.
Arthur: Where did you have in mind?
Trillian: Madagascar.
Arthur: That new club on Dean Street?
Trillian: No, it's a country. Off the coast of Africa.

Arthur Dent: Just wait a sodding minute! You want a question that goes with the answer for 42? Well, how about what's six times seven? Or how many Vogons does it take to change a lightbulb? Here's one! How many roads must a man walk down?
Lunkwill: Hey, that's not bad!
Arthur Dent: Fine. Fine, take it. Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to - is she the one? The answer bloody well isn't forty-two, it's yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy.
Trillian: That's a good answer...
Lunkwill: Rubbish, we don't want to be happy, we want to be famous!
Fook: Yeah! What is all this "is she the one" tripe?
Lunkwill: Take his brain!

Trillian: Well, this is weird.

Trillian: [after Arthur drinks a cocktail sludge] I should have said it resembles tea.

Zaphod: Why'd you pick up hitchhikers?
Trillian: I didn't. The ship did.

Trillian: You idiot! You signed the order to destroy Earth!
Zaphod: I did?
Arthur: He did?
Trillian: Love and kisses Zaphod? You didn't even read it, did you?
Zaphod: Well, I'm president, I don't have a lot of time for reading.
Trillian: My whole planet destroyed because you thought someone wanted your autograph!

Arthur: Let's go somewhere.
Trillian: Definitely. Where'd you have in mind?
Ford: I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.

Trillian: Who are you?
Arthur: Er, Dent, Arthur Dent.
Trillian: No, I mean *who* are you?
Arthur: Oh, the costume. Er, Livingston I presume. Yeah. Not as good as Darwin I know but the best I could manage at short notice.
Trillian: You're the first person whose gotten that right. Everyone keeps calling me Santa.
Arthur: Really?
Trillian: Yeah, and I thought the beagle made it a dead giveaway.
Arthur: Well, I suppose most of the people who come to these parties are idiots.
Trillian: What?
[the record player is bumped, the music stops]
Arthur: I said all these people are idiots!
[everyone stares at him]
Arthur: Oh god...

[to Arthur, shortly after they first meet]
Trillian: I want to go somewhere I've never been, and I'd like to go with you.

Trillian: I have a plan.
Arthur: Does it involve pushing him out there and then running the other way?

Arthur: Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home.
Ford: What is normal?
Trillian: What is home?
Zaphod: What're cows?

Arthur: I have to say, without the beard you look at least 80 years younger.
Trillian: Well, maybe I'm de-evolving?
Arthur: Ha ha!
Trillian: Ha ha!
Arthur: Well, I should inform you that I don't date single-celled organisms.

Trillian: Marvin... you saved our lives!
Marvin: I know. Wretched, isn't it?

Trillian: I have the president and I will kill him, I swear I will.
Jeltz: Could that actually kill him?
Questular Rontok: I don't think so. It's an aerosol can.

Trillian: See this? This detects what you're craving and makes it for you. And this? This toasts bread while you're slicing it. We're on a space ship Arthur. In space.

Zaphod: Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax.
Trillian: Why so edgy? You wanna know why I'm edgy?
[fires Point-Of View gun at Zaphod]
Zaphod: [from Trillian's view] Of course you're edgy. Your planet's been blown up and you've been tooling round the galaxy with the guy who signed the order. You actually wanted to know the question because you always wondered if there was more to life and now you're crushed because you find out there really isn't.
Zaphod: [from Zaphod's view] Hey, fantastic. Psychedelic.
Zaphod: [from Trillian's view] You have no home and no family and now you're stuck with me, another in a long line of men who doesn't really get you.
Zaphod: [from Zaphod's view] That's not true.
Zaphod: [from Trillian's view] And you're worried that you might have blown it with the one guy who really does.
Zaphod: Oh, baby doll. Give me that thing.
[takes Point-Of-View gun off Trillian and aims it at her]
Trillian: It won't affect me. I'm already a woman.

Trillian: So much for the laws of physics.

Trillian: We don't know why we're here. We were trying to get to Magrathea and our ship brought us here.
Humma Kavula: How very... improbable.

Trillian: How badly does it hurt?
Arthur: It doesn't feel great.

Zaphod: [everything appears to be made of yarn] WOW! Is this gonna happen every time we hit that button?
Trillian: Very probably, yes.


"The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Episode #1.2" (1981)
[Ford Prefect has, quite improbably, turned into a penguin, and Arthur's leg has drifted off into the sunset]
Ford Prefect: Hey. Quack. Who are you? Where are you? What's going on? Quack. Is there any way of stopping it?
Trillian: Please relax. You are perfectly safe.
Ford Prefect: That is not the point. Quack. The point is I am now a perfectly safe penguin. Quack. And my colleague here is rapidly running out of limbs.

Trillian: We will be restoring normality as soon as we are sure what is normal anyway. Thank you.

Trillian: Probability factor of one to one. We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

Zaphod Beeblebrox: Trillian, is this sort of thing going to happen every time we use the Infinite Improbability drive?
Trillian: Very probably, I'm afraid.
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Zaphod Beeblebrox, this is a very large drink. Hi.

Trillian: [over the intercom] Please relax. You are perfectly safe.
Ford Prefect: That is not the point! The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin and my colleague is rapidly running out of limbs!


"The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Episode #1.6" (1981)
Ford Prefect: [discussing the teleporter while their ship is plunging into the sun] Someone will have to stay behind and operate it manually!
[pause]
Ford Prefect: But that means whoever does wouldn't...
Trillian: [quietly] ... make it.
Zaphod Beeblebrox: [Ford, Trillian, Arthur and Zaphod consider this before all turning to stare at Marvin as Zaphod grins slyly] Hey, Marvin kid. How ya doing?
Marvin: Very badly I suspect.


"The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Episode #1.5" (1981)
Barman: [whilst greeting Arthur and the others at Milliways] It's not unusual for customers to be disoriented after the time journey.
Trillian: Time Journey?
Ford Prefect: You mean... this isn't the afterlife?
Barman: The afterlife? No, sir.
Arthur: So... we're not dead?
Barman: Sir is most evidently alive otherwise I would not attempt to serve, sir.


"The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Episode #1.3" (1981)
Trillian: What are you supposed to do with a manically depressed robot?
Marvin: You think you've got problems. What are you supposed to do if you are a manically depressed robot? No, don't even bother answering. I'm 50,000 times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer.