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Quotes for
Lt. Sam Weinberg (Character)
from A Few Good Men (1992)

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A Few Good Men (1992)
Galloway: Why do you hate them so much?
Lt. Weinberg: They beat up on a weakling; that's all they did. The rest is just smokefilled coffee-house crap. They tortured and tormented a weaker kid. They didn't like him. So, they killed him. And why? Because he couldn't run very fast.

Galloway: Where is he?
Kaffee: Downtown Lodge on North East.
Galloway: I want him guarded.
Kaffee: That's probably a good idea. Anyway he also says that...
Galloway: My clearance code is 411527273. Thank you.
Kaffee: Clearance code? I don't have a clearance code. Do you have a clearance code?
Lt. Weinberg: Danny!
Kaffee: Anyway, he also says that Jessup's lying about the transportation off the base. Jessup said the 6 was the first flight out Santiago couuld have left on. Markinson says there was a plane that left seven hours earlier.
[to Galloway]
Kaffee: That was impressive. Did you get what I said about the flight?
Galloway: Yes. Sam, when a flight takes off there's got to be some kind of record kept, right?
Lt. Weinberg: Yeah, you need the tower chief's log from Gitmo.
Kaffee: Get it.
Galloway: We're gonna win.
Kaffee: Joe, let's not go crazy about this. We don't know who Markinson is we don't know what the log book's going to say. You just concentrate on Downey. I'm going to talk to Ross and tell him where we are.

Lt. Weinberg: Alright, what do you suggest we do?
Galloway: I say we hit Jessup with the phony transfer order.
Lt. Weinberg: A transfer order without a witness.
Kaffee: We have a witness.
Lt. Weinberg: A dead witness.
Kaffee: And in the hands of a lesser attorney that'd be a problem.
Lt. Weinberg: Look at this, last night he's swimming in Jack Daniels and now he can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Kaffee: I'm getting my second wind. Sit down, both of you.
[Sees that they are already sitting]
Kaffee: Good. Jessup told Kendrick to order the code red, Kendrick did and our clients followed the order. The cover-up isn't our case - to win Jessup needs to tell the court members that he ordered the code red.
Lt. Weinberg: And now you think you can get him to just say it?
Kaffee: I think he wants to say it. I think he's pissed off that he's gotta hide from this. I think he wants to say that he made a command decision and that's the end of it.
[Starts imitating Jessup]
Kaffee: He eats breakfast 300 yards away from 4000 Cubans that are trained to kill him. And nobody's going to tell him how to run his unit least of all the Harvard mouth in his faggoty white uniform. I need to shake him, put him on the defensive and lead him right where he's dying to go.
Lt. Weinberg: That's it? That's the plan?
Kaffee: That's the plan.
Lt. Weinberg: And how are you going to that?
Kaffee: I have no idea. I need my bat.
Lt. Weinberg: What?
Kaffee: I need my bat. I think better with my bat. Where's my bat?
Galloway: I put it in the closet.
Kaffee: You put it in the closet?
Galloway: I was tripping on it.
Kaffee: Don't ever put that bat in the closet.

Lt. Weinberg: You've heard her. The girl sat here, pointed and said, "Pa." She did. She said, "Pa."
Kaffee: She was pointing at a mailbox, Sam.
Lt. Weinberg: That's right. She was pointing as if to say, "Pa, look, a mailbox."

Lt. Weinberg: Cmdr. Galloway, Lt. Kaffee is considered to be the best litigator in our office. He successfully plea bargained 44 cases in 9 months.
Kaffee: One more and I get a set of steak knives.

Lt. Weinberg: "I strenuously object?" Is that how it works? Hm? "Objection." "Overruled." "Oh, no, no, no. No, I STRENUOUSLY object." "Oh. Well, if you strenuously object then I should take some time to reconsider."

Kaffee: Jack Ross came to see me today. He offered me the 12 years.
Lt. Weinberg: Hey, that's what you wanted, right?
Kaffee: Yeah, and I'll take it. I guess, you know, I'll take it.
Lt. Weinberg: So...
Kaffee: It took about 45 seconds he barely put up a fight.
Lt. Weinberg: Danny, take the 12 years it's a gift.
Kaffee: You don't believe their story, do you? You think they ought to go to jail for the rest of their lives.
Lt. Weinberg: I believe every word of their story and I think they ought to go to jail for the rest of their lives.
Kaffee: See you tomorrow.
Lt. Weinberg: Don't forget to wear the whites. Very hot down there.
Kaffee: I don't like the whites.
Lt. Weinberg: Nobody likes the whites but we're going to Cuba. You got Dramamine?
Kaffee: Dramamine keeps you cool?
Lt. Weinberg: No, Dramamine keeps you from throwing up you get sick when you fly.
Kaffee: I get sick when I fly because I'm afraid of crashing into a large mountain I don't think Dramamine'll help.
Lt. Weinberg: I got some oregano I hear that works pretty good.
Kaffee: You know, Ross said the strangest thing to me right before I left. He said that the platoon commander Lieutenant Jonathan Kendrick had a meeting with the men and specifically told them not to touch Santiago.
Lt. Weinberg: So?
Kaffee: I never mentioned Kendrick. I don't even know who he is. Nah, what the hell. I'll see you tomorrow.

Galloway: You put him on the stand and you get it from him!
Kaffee: Oh, we get it from him! Yes! No problem! We get it from him.
[turns to Sam as if he were Jessup on the stand]
Kaffee: Colonel Jessup, isn't it true that you ordered the Code Red on Santiago?
Lt. Weinberg: Listen, we're all a little...
Kaffee: [interrupts with game-show buzzer sound] eeehhhhh! I'm sorry, your time's run out! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it's a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that's right, it's a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching... typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid!"

Kaffee: Excuse me, sorry I'm late.
Capt. Whitaker: That's alright, Danny, I know you don't have a good excuse, so I won't force you to come up with a bad one.
Kaffee: Thank you, sir.
Capt. Whitaker: The first one's for you. Seems you're moving up in the world, you've been requested by Division.
Kaffee: Requested to do what?
Capt. Whitaker: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. A Marine corporal named Dawson illegally fires a round of his weapon over the fence line and into Cuban territory.
Kaffee: What's a fence line?
Capt. Whitaker: Sam.
Lt. Weinberg: A big wall separating the good guys from the bad guys.
Kaffee: Teacher's pet.
Capt. Whitaker: PFC William Santiago threatens to rat on Dawson to the Naval Investigative Service. Dawson, and another member of his squad PFC Louden Downey, go into Santiago's barracks room, tie him up, stuff a rag down his throat. An hour later Santiago's dead. The attending physician says the rag was treated with some kind of toxin.
Kaffee: They poisoned the rag?
Capt. Whitaker: Not according to them.
Kaffee: What do they say?
Capt. Whitaker: Not much. They're being flown up here tomorrow. Then Wednesday at 0600 you're catching a transport down to Cuba for the day to find out what you can. In the meantime, go see Lieutenant Commander Joanne Galloway of internal affairs. Any questions?
Kaffee: That flight to Cuba, was that 0600 in the morning? Sir?
Capt. Whitaker: It seems important to Division that this one be handled by the book so I'm assigning co-counsel. Any volunteers?
Lt. Weinberg: No!
Capt. Whitaker: Sam.
Lt. Weinberg: Sir, I've got a stack of papers on my desk about a mile high.
Capt. Whitaker: Work with Kaffee on this.
Lt. Weinberg: Doing what? Kaffee will have this done in about four days.
Capt. Whitaker: Doing various administrative things. Backup. Whatever.
Lt. Weinberg: In other words I have no responsibilities whatsoever.
Capt. Whitaker: Right.

Lt. Weinberg: Why do you like them so much?
Galloway: Because they stand on a wall and say, "Nothing's going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch."

Galloway: Tell your friend not to get cute down there, the Marines at Gitmo are fanatical.
Lt. Weinberg: Fanatical about what?
Galloway: About being Marines.

Kaffee: Did you assault Santiago with the intent of killing him?
Dawson: No, sir.
Kaffee: What was your intent.
Dawson: To train him, sir.
Kaffee: To train him to do what?
Dawson: To train him to think of the unit before himself. To respect the code.
Kaffee: What's the code?
Dawson: Unit. Corps. God. Country.
Lt. Weinberg: I beg your pardon?
Dawson: Unit. Corps. God. Country. Sir.
Kaffee: The government of the United States wants to charge you two with murder. And you want me to go to the prosecutor with unit, corps, God, country?
Dawson: That's our code, sir.
Kaffee, Lt. Weinberg: It's a code.
Kaffee: We'll be back. You guys need anything? Books, papers, cigarettes, ham sandwich?
Dawson: Sir, no thank you, sir.
Kaffee: Harold, I think there's a concept that you'd better start warming up to.
Dawson: Sir?
Kaffee: I'm the only friend you've got.

[upon first meeting]
Galloway: You're the attorney division assigned?
Kaffee: I'm lead counsel, and this is Sam Weinberg.
Lt. Weinberg: I have no responsibilities here whatsoever.

Kaffee: Were you able to speak to your friend at the NIS?
Lt. Weinberg: Yeah, she said that if Markinson doesn't want to be found, we're not gonna find him. She said I could be Markinson and you wouldn't know it.
Kaffee: Are you Markinson?
Lt. Weinberg: No.
Kaffee: I'm not Markinson... that's two down. What?
Lt. Weinberg: I'm just wondering, now that Joanne's in on this, you know, I was just wondering if you still needed me.
Kaffee: They were following orders, Sam.
Lt. Weinberg: An illegal order.
Kaffee: You think Dawson and Downey knew it was an illegal order?
Lt. Weinberg: It doesn't matter what they knew. Any decent human being would have refused.
Kaffee: They're not permitted to question orders.
Lt. Weinberg: Then what's the secret? Huh, what are the magic words? I give orders every day nobody follows them.
Kaffee: Sam, we have softball games and marching bands. They work at a place where you have to wear camouflage or they might get shot! I need you. You're better at research than I am and you know how to prepare a witness.
Galloway: [Galloway arrives] I have medical reports and Chinese food. I say we eat first.
[pause, Weinberg is pondering]
Galloway: What?
Lt. Weinberg: You got any Kung Pao chicken?
Kaffee: Alright, here's our defense. Intent, no one can prove there was poison on the rag. Code reds, they're common and accepted in Guantanimo Bay. The order, A, Kendrick gave it, B they had no choice but to follow it. That's it.
Lt. Weinberg: What about motive?
Kaffee: We're a little weak on motive they had one.
Galloway: Just because a person's got a motive doesn't mean they're guilty.
Kaffee: Relax, we'll deal with the fence line shooting when it comes up. For now, let's start with intent. I don't know what made Santiago die, I don't want to know. I just want to show that it could have been something other than poison. Joe, talk to doctors find out everything there is to know about lactic acidosis. Sam, find out who else was in the emergency room that night...

Kaffee: Is your father proud of you?
Lt. Weinberg: Don't do this to yourself
Kaffee: I'll bet he is, I'll bet he bores the shit out of the neighbors and relatives, "Sam's made Law Review, his working on a big case right now, his arguing, his making an argument
Lt. Weinberg: I ever tell you I wrote a paper about your father in college?
Kaffee: Yeah
Lt. Weinberg: One of the best trial lawyers ever
Kaffee: Yes, he was
Lt. Weinberg: If I were Dawson and Downey and if I had to choose between you or your father to represent me in this case I'd choose you any day of the week and twice on Sunday, you should've seen yourself thunder away at Kendrick
Kaffee: Would you put Jessup on the stand?
Lt. Weinberg: No
Kaffee: You think my father would?
Lt. Weinberg: With the evidence we got, not in a million years, see here's the thing and there's no way of getting around this, neither Lionel Kaffee nor Sam Weinberg in lead counsel for the defense on the matter of the U.S. versus Dawson and Downey would you put Colonel Nathan Jessup on the stand, so there's only one question, " what would you do?"

Kaffee: I don't believe it, Dawson's is going to jail despite me. Fine, if he wants to jump off a cliff, I'm not going to hold his hand the way down. I want to get him a new lawyer and how do I do it?
Lt. Weinberg: Just make a motion tomorrow morning at the arraignment the judge will ask if you want to enter a plea and you tell him you want new counsel assigned.
Kaffee: That's that.
Galloway: One thing though: When you ask the judge for new counsel, be sure to ask "nicely"
Kaffee: What do you want from me?
Galloway: Why are so afraid to be a lawyer? Were daddy's expectations really that high?
Kaffee: Dawson and Downey will have their day in court, they'll just have it with another lawyer
Galloway: Another lawyer won't be good enough, they need you, you know how to win. You know they have a case and you know how to win. If you walk away from this now, you've sealed their fate.
Kaffee: Their fate was sealed the minute Santiago died.