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Quotes for
Paulette Bonafont (Character)
from Legally Blonde (2001)

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Legally Blonde (2001)
Elle: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.

Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
Elle: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking.

Paulette: So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette: [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian] So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

Elle: That's great, Paulette. Is that the only interaction you two have ever had?
Paulette: No! Sometimes I say "okay" instead of "fine."

Paulette: [Paulette gets nervous talking to the UPS man and spills nail solution all over the table] Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic?

Paulette: [to her ex-husband] I'm takin' the dog... DUMBASS!

Legally Blonde: The Musical (2007) (TV)
Paulette: What's she got that you don't got? Three boobs?
Elle Woods: She's serious.
Paulette: Seriously, does she have three boobs?

Paulette: Oh my go - The new UPS guy is like walkin' porn.

Elle Woods: Paulette, are you ready?
Paulette: I don't know, Elle! Dewey scares the crap outta me!
Elle Woods: Channel that fear! Remember! You are a strong independent woman and you must be reunited with your dog.
Emmett Forrest: Anyone who bakes their dog a birthday cake deserves nothing less.
Paulette: Oh! And it's shaped like a BONE!
Elle Woods: And that kind of devotion cannot be ignored.
Paulette: Well, it's not easy to find dog-friendly chocolate substitutes.
[knocks on trailer]
Dewey: Who in the -
[leans out window]
Dewey: Oh, crap, not you again. Paulette. Get your fat ass off'n my property.
Paulette: Dewey! I wanna see my dog! I gotta right! And I bet you didn't even know it's his birthday today!
[shows him the cake]
Dewey: [leans back in window] Oh, it's your birthday, it's your birthday! Well, you can't see him, jellygut.
[takes the cake]
Dewey: Best decision I ever made was throwin' you out!
Paulette: AAARGH!
[stomps feet]
Paulette: Can you believe I lived with that for ten years! And that cheapskate never even bought me a ring!

Elle Woods: Well... my name is Elle Woods, and I came all the way out here for Harvard Law School...
Paulette: Well, that's a good school!
Elle Woods: I know! Right?

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)
Congresswoman: [looking over her new hairdo] You have the full support of the Sunshine State!
Paulette: Yay for Ohio!

Paulette: Who's ready to discharge?

Paulette: Ooh... the bend and snap! I did that last night naked. I broke a window though.

Paulette: You look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad!