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: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head. Paulette
: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.
: Is she as pretty as you? Elle
: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking.
: So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.
: [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian
] So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?
: That's great, Paulette. Is that the only interaction you two have ever had? Paulette
: No! Sometimes I say "okay" instead of "fine."
: [Paulette gets nervous talking to the UPS man and spills nail solution all over the table
] Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic?
: [to her ex-husband
] I'm takin' the dog... DUMBASS!
: What's she got that you don't got? Three boobs? Elle Woods
: She's serious. Paulette
: Seriously, does she have three boobs?
: Oh my go - The new UPS guy is like walkin' porn.
: Paulette, are you ready? Paulette
: I don't know, Elle! Dewey scares the crap outta me! Elle Woods
: Channel that fear! Remember! You are a strong independent woman and you must be reunited with your dog. Emmett Forrest
: Anyone who bakes their dog a birthday cake deserves nothing less. Paulette
: Oh! And it's shaped like a BONE! Elle Woods
: And that kind of devotion cannot be ignored. Paulette
: Well, it's not easy to find dog-friendly chocolate substitutes.
[knocks on trailer
: Who in the -
[leans out window
: Oh, crap, not you again. Paulette. Get your fat ass off'n my property. Paulette
: Dewey! I wanna see my dog! I gotta right! And I bet you didn't even know it's his birthday today!
[shows him the cake
: [leans back in window
] Oh, it's your birthday, it's your birthday! Well, you can't see him, jellygut.
[takes the cake
: Best decision I ever made was throwin' you out! Paulette
: Can you believe I lived with that for ten years! And that cheapskate never even bought me a ring!
: Well... my name is Elle Woods, and I came all the way out here for Harvard Law School... Paulette
: Well, that's a good school! Elle Woods
: I know! Right?
: [looking over her new hairdo
] You have the full support of the Sunshine State! Paulette
: Yay for Ohio!
: Who's ready to discharge?
: Ooh... the bend and snap! I did that last night naked. I broke a window though.
: You look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad!