Quotes for
Champ Kind (Character)
from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
Ron Burgundy: That's a given.
Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.

Champ Kind: What's it like, Ron?
Ron Burgundy: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man.
Brian Fantana: No, the other thing - love.
Brick Tamland: Yeah, what is that?

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.

Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom.
Champ Kind: It is anchor*man*, not anchor*lady*. And that is a scientific fact.
Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about.
Brian Fantana: You're with us, Ron, what do you think?
Ron Burgundy: [shouting] She... Sh... It's terrible. She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon.
Brick Tamland: [shouts] Loud noises.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint!
Ron Burgundy: Hey, let's leave the mothers out of this.

Ed Harken: A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ Kind: What in the hell's diversity?
Ron Burgundy: Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
Ed Harken: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship, but nice try.

Brian Fantana: That was one crazy party. I am hung over.
Champ Kind: I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming.
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.

Ron Burgundy: [singing] Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight / My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right" / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] When everything's a little clearer in the light of day / And we know the night is always gonna be there anyway.
Brian Fantana, Brick Tamland: [singing] Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite / Looking forward to a little afternoon delight / Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite / And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon delight.
Ron Burgundy: You guys have it, I think.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Afternoon delight.
Champ Kind: I don't know Ron, That sounds kinda crazy.
Brian Fantana: Sounds like you have mental problems, man.
Brick Tamland: Yeah you got mental problems, man.
Brian Fantana: Yeah, he really does.
Brick Tamland: Man.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland: [singing] Afternoon delight.

Brian Fantana: Where is the suit store? We've been walking for forty-five minutes.
Champ Kind: Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut.
Brick Tamland: Fantastic.
Ron Burgundy: Well, is it a shortcut or not?
Brick Tamland: Okay.

Champ Kind: Tell me about it, this morning, I woke up and I shit a squirrel, but what I can?t get is the damn thing is still alive. So now, I've got a shit covered squirrel running around my office and I don't know what to name it.
Brick Tamland: O, I'm sorry champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.

Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and the team] Heinie...
[laughs]
Brick Tamland: He said heinie.
Champ Kind: Brick, get back over here.

Brian Fantana: That was some crazy party. I am hungover.
Champ Kind: Tell me about. I mean I woke up and I shit a squirrel. I mean it. Literally. And the hell of it is- the damn thing's still alive. So now I got this shit-covered squirrel sittin' down in the office. Don't know what to name it.
Brick Tamland: Sorry, Champ. I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.

Champ Kind: Champ here! I'm all about havin' fun. You know, get a couple cocktails in me, start a fire in someone's kitchen. Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. Anyway, I kinda known for my catch phrase WHAMMY! As in Gene Tenace at the plate... iiittt WHAMMY! WHAMMY!

Ron Burgundy: Go easy on her, guys, she has feelings too, you know.
Brian Fantana: Listen to Burgundy, he sounds like some school-boy bitch.
Champ Kind: You sound like a gay.
Ron Burgundy: Hey, this is me - Papa Burgundy. As far as I'm concerned Corningstone's fair game. Let the games begin. Wey-ho. Wey-ho.
Brian Fantana: There he is, there he is... I'm very aroused

Champ Kind: He's standing in the middle of the baseline saying, "You gotta take home plate from me!" So there I go head first...

Champ Kind: What do you say if we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex... You know, see what happens.

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Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie (2004) (V)

Champ Kind: I love you, Ron!

[Ron, Brian, Champ and Brick drive to the observatory]
Champ Kind: I love you, Ron.
[pause]
Champ Kind: I said I love you, Ron.
[pause]
Champ Kind: Why is everyone ignoring me? I love you, Ron! And I think we should adopt a child together in Vermont! Answer me!
Ron Burgundy: Um... so... uh... the... the car's running great.
Brian Fantana: Hm? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Ron Burgundy: Take it for a tune-up?
Brian Fantana: Yeah.
Ron Burgundy: Uh-huh.
Brian Fantana: Changed the oil...
Ron Burgundy: Good!
Brian Fantana: And, uh...
Champ Kind: [shouts] Answer me! Ron! Ron, I know you heard me. I love you... and I want to be with you... like men. I want to be inside you. I want you inside me.
Brian Fantana: All right, anybody's up for the radio?
Ron Burgundy: I would love to hear the radio.
Brick Tamland: Yeah.
Champ Kind: [shouts] No radio! I have something to say to Ron! You know I've had feelings for you for a long time! We'd be good together, Ron, I-I-I'm a good cook. Uh... do you like your feet rubbed? I'll bet you do. I'll-I'll rub 'em, and, uh, maybe we could get married in a ceremony presided over by Roger Staubach - I already called him last week, I hope that's okay with you.
Ron Burgundy: Mexican food on me?
Brian Fantana: Hey, that sounds good.
Brick Tamland: Yeah, burrito!
Ron Burgundy: Okay.
Champ Kind: Say it! Say "Champ Burgundy," say it!
Brick Tamland: Tostada!
Ron Burgundy: Uh, tostadas would be great!
Champ Kind: [shouts] I am in love with Ron Burgundy! I'm always thinking about you, Ron! I have dream journals about you - filled pages! When I make love to women, I close my eyes and think of you when I finish! Ron Burgundy is in love with me!
[sings]
Champ Kind: "Ron Burgundy and Champion Kind, oh, let's... be so beautiful together, running in the grass, in the summer and the fall, and winter time too...”

Champ Kind: I will eat your face off your bones, Fantana!

Ron Burgundy: So Champ, did you get lucky last night?
Champ Kind: Oh no, uh, last night... oh, I stayed home for awhile, drank about six bottles of white wine, pissed my pants, so I drove down to Mexico, and shot some stray dogs. You know, pretty much standard Tuesday night.

Brian Fantana: I thought for sure he was gay.
Champ Kind: He's gay alright. I made out with him at the Christmas party.
Brian Fantana: What?
Champ Kind: Nothing.

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