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: Dad, Chandler didn't melt your records, Ross did. Jack Geller
: Is that... Monica
: And Dad, you know that mailman you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys, Ross did. Ross
: Yea, well Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did. Monica
: Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year. Ross
: Monica and Chandler are living together! Monica
: Ross married Rachel in Vegas, and got divorced, *again*. Phoebe
: I love Jacques Cousteau. Rachel
: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle. Joey
: I wanna gooooo! Judy Geller
: That's a lot of information to get in thirty seconds.
: Yeah, and Dad, Chandler didn't melt your records. Ross did. And Dad, you remember that mailman you got fired? He didn't steal your playboys, Ross did. Ross
: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did. Monica
: Ross hasn't worked at the museum in a year! Ross
: Monica and Chandler are living together. Monica
: Ross married Rachel in Vegas and got divorced... again! Phoebe
: I love Jacques Cousteau! Rachel
: I wasn't supposed to put peas in a trifle. Joey
: I wanna go! Judy Geller
: That's a lot of information to get in thirty seconds. All right, Joey, if you wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no, you weren't supposed to put peas in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you had an important relationship is beyond me.
: I think he's stoned again. Chandler
: What? Ross
: Dude, I need to talk to ya a sec.
[Chandler and Ross go into Rachels former bedroom
: Okay, I think I know why my parents don't like you. Chandler
: Yeah? Ross
: Okay, we were in college. Spring break. Sophomore year. I got high and my parents came in and smellt it so I said you had smoked it and jumped out the window. Chandler
: What? Ross
: Oh come on man. How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college? Let alone you living with my sister? Chandler
: What about that whole friends forever stuff? Ross
: I don't know I was all high. Monica
: [Monica enters
] Mom and Dad just sent me in here to find out if you were trying to get Ross stoned. Chandler
: Ross smoked pot in college and he blamed it on me. Monica
: Ross! I can't believe you'd do that. Chandler
: The reason we haven't told them we're together is cause they hate me. So will you fix this please? Ross
: Fine, I'll tell them it wasn't Chandler who was smoking the pot. Who should I say it was? Monica
: You! Doesn't matter its not like you still do it. Ross
: Okay, who should I say "tricked me" into doing it. Monica
: No one. You go out there and you tell them exactly what happened. Ross
: Really? Monica
: Yes. Chandler
: Anything else I should know? Ross
: No. Wait ya. Uh, you melted a bunch of my Dad's records. Ross
: [fake chuckle
] Why? Ross
: Evidently you weren't good at handling your 'high.'
[Jack and Judy walk Monica down the aisle
] Judy Geller
: I wish your grandmother had lived to see this. Monica Geller-Bing
: Mom, she's right there. Judy Geller
: Not that old crone. My mother.
: Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress. Nora Bing
: As I recall, when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress. Charles Bing
: But that was after the wedding. It's not bad luck then. Nora Bing
: Honey, it isn't good luck.
: Mrs. Bing? These are my parents Judy and Jack Geller. Judy Geller
: It's lovely to meet you. Jack Geller
: So, are you his mother or his father?
[in Monica's flashback
] Judy Geller
: Here, Monica, you can finish off these pies. There was no room in the fridge. Monica
: No. No thank you. Jack Geller
: Well, Judy, you did it. She's finally full.
: [about Rachel
] Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar. Monica Geller
: What's that supposed to mean? Judy Geller
: Nothing. It's an expression. Monica Geller
: No, it's not. Jack Geller
: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent and you always have been. Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby and you had no friends, you were just fine! And your'd read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
] Jack Geller
: There are people, like Ross, who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are. I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. They're happy with what they have, they're basically content, like... cows.